Worth the Wait

So, normally sappy is not my writing style, but this blog will be one exception...For those whose faces distort into a sour face just at the sound of the word "sappy", this is your chance to turn back now...You have officially been warned.

 Lately I've been going through all 13,769,046 pages (or so it seems) of paperwork that I have accumulated through the years, in an effort to get rid of everything I don't absolutely need. In the midst of this chaos I came across something I'd written back in 2007, when I was doing mission work in Lithuania for the summer.  It's not a devotional, like I normally write on here, but rather it's simply words from the heart of a single missionary about something she just happened to observe one day and the impression that it made on her. It's about love....real love.

"I'm sitting here at the Vilnius bus station, waiting to leave for Riga.  When I first arrived at the platform, where I would eventually catch my bus, my attention was drawn to a certain young lady and young gentleman.  For the approximately thirty minutes that we waited for the bus I could tell that, as far they were each concerned, the other person was the only other one in the world. 

As they stood, holding each other close, I wondered what their story was. Was he leaving on just a short trip? A long one? Did he even live here? When did they meet? How did they meet? While I knew none of these answers, from where I was sitting I could see in her eyes that she truly loved him. 

It didn't end there. As we loaded the bus, she stayed by his side until she couldn't any longer. Then, for about thirty more minutes, she stood outside his window.  They both just looked at each other with sad eyes, every once in a while mouthing, no doubt, words of endearment to each other.  Every once in a while, when another bus would pull up, she would move out of the way, then move right back to the spot by his window. As we pulled out to leave she was standing there waving until the bus was out of sight.

A lot of times I get asked the question, "What are you waiting for?" Or, of course, "Who are you waiting for?" While I may not know who, I definitely know what I'm waiting for. I'm waiting for that kind of love.  Love in which I'd almost rather die than have to leave the other person.  A love where we can just look at each other, not a say a word, and yet a thousand be spoken. A love that, were it taken away, would hurt to the same extent that it felt good.  Most of all, I want a love in which I can give all of my heart, knowing He will give me back the same."

While  I wrote this years ago, my perspective still remains the same. I still believe that special person will indeed be worth the wait.

 Love is Waiting

Friendship, Bitterness, & Treasures

"And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God: Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the Lord do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me." ~Ruth 1:16-17

Today I started reading Ruth again, one of my favorite books of the Bible. For such a short book, there is so much to be learned from it. Today I learned about friendship…which is what the name "Ruth" means.  The first chapter of this book is a perfect example of what true friendship (love) looks like. Out of real love for her mother-in-law, Ruth refused to leave her alone to go on her way, but insisted on going with her...not just going with her, but remaining with her. 

Naomi showed real love for Ruth by trying to protect her and insisting that she stay where she might have a better chance for survival, or so she hoped. However, God had a much better plan for Ruth, and, unlike Orpah, she chose to cling to Naomi, and that is the moment God would begin to change her life. This change began when she chose to stick with her loved one and enter Bethlehem (The House of Bread), risking leaving behind all that was familiar to her, simply because she truly loved Naomi.

  

Naomi means "my delight", however, when they reached her homeland, she told them to call her "bitterness", rather than "my delight", due to the negative way she felt God had dealt with her.  You see, through eyes of love, Ruth still saw her mother-in-law as delightful, someone worthy of love...someone in need of and who deserved companionship.  No doubt, by her insistence to be called Mara instead, life had beaten her down and she probably was no longer quite the loveable lady Ruth had first known. She has probably depressed, negative, and unlikely the type of person people enjoyed being around...she was "bitter". 

Bitter...not only an attitude, but a taste that can get into other people's mouths and spirits as well, if those people do not choose to love and over power, rather than to ingest, that potent taste. 

Reading about this reminded me of a tweet by Bro. Raymond Woodward that I read earlier today:

"We're not willing to take what we don't want to get what we do want. A field has rocks and weeds in it, but the TREASURE is in the field! You're church, pastor, marriage, or spouse is a field with treasure in it. Don't complain about the field; rejoice in the TREASURE!" ~J. Hyles

None of us are perfect. If you don't agree with that statement I suggest you repeat it out loud until you do! In different ways I believe we are all diamonds in the rough. A diamond in the rough may be defined as "someone (or something) that has hidden exceptional characteristics and/or future potential, but currently lacks the final touches that would make them (or it) truly stand out from the crowd." 

 Lucky for all of us:

"Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend." ~Proverbs 27:17

A true friend remembers you at your best, and if you are no longer at that place, reminds you of what "your best" looks like until you are back to being the treasure God created you to be. In process it is very possible one may become an even more valuable treasure than ever before!
 
 Left to their own devices it is doubtful that Ruth or Naomi would have survived their tragic situation. However, together, they not only survived, but thrived.  And, just as, in my last blog, I spoke of Christ being born through the lineage of Isaac...He also chose Ruth and Boaz to be part of that blessed lineage as well!

"For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also" ~Matthew 6:21

Christians in Action

"...And the disciples were called Christians first in Antioch." ~Acts 11:26

"Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you - not because they are nice, but because you are." ~Author Unknown

"What this world needs is a new kind of army - the army of the kind." ~Cleveland Amory

Christian - "Christ-like".

When I was in high school I was in a club called Christians in Action (aka: CIA :-). I feel the name of this club sums up the excerpt below I felt to share. While we, as Christians, are not saved by works, if God's Spirit is truly in us it WILL show through in the fruit we bear...Love, Joy, Peace, Longsuffering, Gentleness, Goodness, Faith, Meekness, Temperance.

The below is from a fictional book I am reading titled "The Silas Diary" by Gene Edwards. While it is a fictional work, it is based on the real journeys of the Apostle Paul as recorded in the Book of Acts. Whether or not this is the way it was, only God knows...however, this IS the way it should be and I truly belief the way it can be:

...During the course of a year, some who have rooms lose them because they have no money or nothing left with which to barter. During the winter, some barter all they own for food. In this region of Galatia, many slaves, when given the opportunity, refuse to be set free. Others, once freed and on the edge of starvation, sell themselves back into slavery. Hardship is a constant companion in the lives of these people. Such are the people who make up the community of believers in Pisidia.

A group of people have become brothers and sisters, their new way of life wonderful and joyful. It is a way of living never before seen on the face of the earth. Yet God ordained that it come into being in this poor and remote region of Asia Minor.

It is amazing, as I look back, to see how these holy ones take care of one another. If one brother finds a job in the marketplace and the supervisor needs more help, that brother runs to find another brother so he, too, can work that day.

When several brothers work together, they work harder and better. They share a spirit of joy, often singing, often praising. Though the masters and supervisors don't understand it, they remember these men who work so well together. As they hire workers each morning in the marketplace, they search out these faces first. Some of the merchants have been known to say: "You, today you work. Go find your friends, the ones you call brothers, the ones you laugh and sing with."

In the gatherings, brothers tell one another about possible places to look for a day's work. The next night they tell everyone about how the Lord provided them a job, while the rest listen, rejoice, laugh, and interrupt.

Nor were the brothers alone in this new way of meeting needs. This new life inside them was changing everyone and everything, affecting the women as much as the men. The sisters in Pisidia began caring for one another, a phenomenon unknown in the Gentile world. They care for one another in the most unexpected ways. In childbirth, of course, but also working together at the river and in their homes and rooms. (Those who have no home and have to sleep in the forum are especially cared for.) Any sister who becomes sick is soon cared for throughout the night and day.

I have often seen the sisters working together in the fields, caring for one another's children, sharing vegetables and grain with one another, or cleaning rooms together. Sometimes they meet only to sing, to talk, to cry, to care, and to be cared for. If one somehow manages to have more than a day's supply of food, they often come together and prepare one big meal so all can have a good meal that day.

"Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!" ~Psalm 133:1

Jesus Loves You...This I Know

And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death. ~Revelation 12:11

Over the last month I have had the opportunity to have two wonderful ladies share their testimonies with me.

One had received the Holy Ghost at a young age, but her one parent who served God backslid, so she didn't grow up attending church. Later, in her early adult years, trying to escape extreme heartbreak from a broken dating relationship, she ended up flinging herself into a world of drugs and prostitution, and remained there for many years. While sitting on an airplane, headed back to her home town, by order of a judge, she spoke to God for the first time in a very long time, telling Him she liked her life the way it was, but that she knew He didn't, and if He would take this desire away from her, she would serve him again. At that moment she felt a warm sensation inside...as God took that desire away from her for good.

The other lady who shared her story with me shared the testimony of her father. He had been a man called to the missions field, who decided to run from the call. Eventually he began drinking, and a downward spiral began. He would later end up sexually abusing his daughters. Years later that man sat on the back row of a church building...making his way to the altar spouting words of how unworthy he was of God's mercy. That man not only became reconciled with God, but for more than 30 years he served God faithfully. He was the one, when you would visit his church, that would be shouting and praising God every service. No doubt few people understood, when he worshipped like he did, why he worshipped like he did. Little did they realize how much God had done for him.

While I think his testimony is an awesome example of God's mercy, to me a testimony just as great is her ability to be able and desire to share it with such joy. And, the fact that she told me the story because she was sharing her burden for prison ministry...for reaching out to the murderer, to the child abuser, to all those people whom everyone else thinks is hopeless, or undeserving of hope. To me the greatest testimony is the gift of forgiveness God put in this woman's heart.

I shared both of these just to say God loves you. He loves YOU. Now, if you're not living right, He doesn't love your sin; He hates it, and sin will have no place in Heaven. But he loves YOU very much. Very VERY much. He knows you better than anyone else and loves you more than anyone else. He desires to see you living a life filled with peace in Him. He desires for you to spend eternity with Him in Heaven. Jesus Loves You...This I Know. Will you choose to love Him too?

And, if you've already made this choice, are you loving others like He would & are you sharing your testimony like you should?

Tell Him

When I first moved to TCM, I was bracing myself for anything. You see, I realized that working with teenagers can be tough...and that working with teens who have been seriously hurt and abused would be even tougher. On a personal level, I came with expectations of probably some personal slams occuring against yours truly, merely due to someone having a bad day and feeling the need to lash out at whomever happened to be targetable at the moment. I'm not a pessimist, just realistic. I know that hurt people hurt people and I was mentally & emotionally preparing myself for this. I expected it, was prepared for it, and was prepared to implement the correct disciplinary action (aka: send them to the principal :o)), if necessary, but on a personal level, just try to let it roll off my back...

But now, looking back, I have realized just the opposite has happened. Sure, I've heard more than my fair share of rude negative comments, but hardly any personal attacks...in fact, I think I have received more compliments from these kids in the past 5 months than I've probably received in the last 5 years. I've been truly amazed.

One of my favorite love songs is "Tell Him", a song sung by Barbra Streisand & Celine Dion. The song is a conversation between a mother & a daughter. The daughter is in love with a man but is scared to tell him, for fear of rejection. The mom in turn encourages the daughter to tell the man how she feels about him. The daughter then basically says "you're right", that she better tell him now or she won't be able to live with herself.

I know at this point you're probably thinking "Where in the world is she going with this?!"

You see, God likes compliments too. No, God LOVES compliments. Psalm 22:3 says, "But thou art holy, O thou that inhabitest the praises of Israel."...God DWELLS in the praises of His people! God loves praise.

So, TELL HIM. Tell Him how awesome you think He is. How in awe you are of Him. How lovely He is. How breathtaking His creation is. Don't put it off. Tell Him TODAY..and tomorrow...and every day for the rest of your life. He likes to hear it. It makes Him happy. It's music to His ears.

Don't be shy...Tell Him.

Tell Him

I Want to Love God More

Last night I had "dorm duty" also known as "relief" here at TCM. To inquiring minds that have no idea what that is: dorm duty is basically where staff who are not houseparents (houseparents being the people who live with the kids on a full time basis) relieve the houseparents by filling in for them on their days off. "Dorm duty" is split up into various shifts and we are assigned so many shifts a month. Right now we all are doing quite a few, due to being short houseparents for one dorm. Hopefully God will take care of that problem in the near future. :o)

So, basically, anyone over a dorm plays the role of parent to that dorm for whatever time period they are there..from making sure the kids are taken care of and not doing things they shouldn't do, to making sure their chores are done, they are fed,have taken their meds if needed,all laundry is done, and that everything is clean and in perfect shape for when the next shift arrives. Most dorms have 8-10 kids. So..that's what I've been doing the last 2 Saturday evenings and will be doing the next one.

The dorm I had last night was mostly Sr. High school age girls and an 8 year old. When it came time for bed for the 8 year old, I helped her get ready, tucked her in,turned the lamp on, said her prayer with her, told her good night, and closed the door halfway after turning the light out.

About 30 minutes later I came back by. She was lying in bed sobbing. I asked her what was wrong. Her reply: "I want my Momma." She continued to sob and say this. Luckily, I was actually on top of things at that moment. Most all of the house cleaning was done and the older girls were watching a movie I had brought (Little Women), so I was able to stay with her for a while. When I came in she was sitting up, so I tucked her back in, put my arm around her and laid there while she continued to cry and say that she wanted her mom. I had no idea what to do to console this little girl.

When you're babysitting you can always say, "she'll be home soon!" or "let's call her!" I know very little about this little girl, but I'm pretty sure her mom is not dead; however, apparently, though, her bad decisions had led to her little girl's tears that night.

Not knowing what else to do, I prayed over her and began singing to her. I didn't know what to sing...nothing seemed to come to mind. Finally I began, "I love you Lord and I lift my voice, to worship you Oh my soul, rejoice. Take joy my king, in what you hear, let it be a sweet sweet sound in your ear." Not exactly a kid's song, but I always feel peace when I sing it. After a while her body stopped shaking from her sobbing and she drifted off to sleep.

I sat there for a few minutes, not wanting to risk waking her up, thinking about how this little innocent girl didn't deserve this. Most people have experienced nights crying themselves to sleep; however, no one deserves them. Especially children.

My pastor preached once about getting out of God's order, (I think I may have mentioned this in a previous blog?)and how when that happens it causes chaos. When whatever decisions were made, that ended with this little girl crying herself to sleep, I'm sure a picture of this little girl crying herself to sleep did not pop into that parent's mind. Whether it was an illicit drug taken, the choice to live with an abusive boyfriend, hitting or verbally abusing a child, etc. The person who made that decision most likely did not think "this is what's going to happen and I don't care." They lived in the moment; not considering what that meant for the future. A future that belonged to not just them, but their children as well.

Today Bro. Judd preached on "Loving God More". Do you love God more than anything and anyone? If you do than you should never have to worry about getting out of God's order, it's when this answer becomes compromised that trouble results. I personally have a calling on my life that I know involves living away from my family. Sometimes accepting and embracing this is not an easy thing. However, God's word tells me:

And there went great multitudes with him: and he turned, and said unto them, If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple. And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple. ~Luke 14:25-27

And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life. ~Matthew 19:29

When God's word speaks; we have to accept. It can't be sugar coated or made to fit our own agenda.

Back to the dorm...
When I became convinced that the little girl I was watching was sound asleep, I slowly got up, hoping not to wake her; however, she did wake up. I was then worried she was going to bust out crying again. Instead, she asked me for a hug and told me goodnight. Peace is precious. Especially when it's from God.

So, you may be wondering, what does this little girl have to do with loving God more? Well, most of the kids that come to the mansion are somehow connected to Pentecost. Either their parents are or were Pentecostal at one time or a grandparent or close relative usually is. That's typically how people find out about The Mansion. Therefore, there's a very good chance this little girl's Mom has known God, but has chosen to serve something or someone else instead, not only putting it ahead of God, but her daughter as well.

So, who or what do you love more? Is God at the top of your list? Above careers. Above people? Above your personal plans and desires? Above people's plans and desires for you? Above money? Above yourself?

We sang the song below at church today. It's one of my favorites. On this Valentine's Day, this is my desire. I want to "Love God More" and draw closer and closer to Him everyday.

The More I Seek You

God Loves People

*Singing*

God Loves People./ Any Shape. Any Color. Any Size./ You Don't Have to Be an Angel. To Be Really Special in His Eyes./ Well He Said it in John 3:16. And He Proved it on Calvary too./ God Loves People. Ordinary People. People Like Me & You....God Loves People. Ordinary People./ He Even Likes Me & You.

Perhaps you too grew up singing this song; or perhaps you have never heard it in your life. I used to sing it Sunday School; but haven't thought of it in years...until it just popped into my head tonight. You see, I have felt to blog about the recent experiences in my life now for a while, but my thoughts have been swirling in so many directions, I haven't been able to anchor them down yet to start typing. They're still swirling and there's much I have to share, but for now, I want to leave you with this:

God LOVES People.
Christian means Christlike.
As Christians we too must love people.

Not just our favorites. Not just those who flatter us. Or those who we think we can benefit from. Or those who we find pleasurable being around.

People. All people. Those we have things in common with. Those we have nothing in common with. Those who make us feel good. Those who annoy the fire out of us. Those who mean what they say. And those who don't. Those who exemplify Christ toward you. And those who don't.

Over the last month I have met MANY people. Here at TCMM, between the off-campus students, resident kids, staff kids and all the staff, I've probably met over 150 people. And not just met them, but am trying to learn their names, where they're originally from, who they are related to (when applicable), their interests, desires & goals, dislikes, etc.

I have also visited Memphis, a church about an hour from here, and a local church.

People. Lots and lots of people. From befriending a very sweet & classy evangelist's wife in Memphis to meeting a paraplegic lady in MS, who once taught in my home town in AR, to meeting a very simple, but very sweet couple, while leaving the church I visited tonight.

People. God loves them ALL.

Recently I heard someone refer to the school where I am teaching as a "glorified reform school". (The person's child attends there; this statement was made in an objective, not a belittling, manner). Most of my students come from troubled backgrounds; particularly the resident students (aka: Mansion Kids). Some of the off-campus students have been kicked out of other schools and some of the off-campus kids are angels. It makes for an interesting & challenging situation.

So what do I do? Well, I've prayed a lot about it; that's for sure. The answer? Love. Love them authentically and equally. Easy? No. Absolutely necessary? Yes.

And you know what? I believe they know.

It's not just kids that can read people. Everyone can. People have an innate ability of knowing whether you're real or fake. Of knowing whether the love your showing is real & from God or whether it's manufactured.

Love people.

How you might ask?
Love God first.
If He's truly first and foremost in your life, loving people, no matter how unlovable they may seem, will seem like less of a challenge and more of a privilege.

This morning Pastor Judd asked a question that I think is good for everyone to ask themselves:
"Has there ever been a time that you were more in love with God than you are now?" If the answer is yes, perhaps you should start with falling back in love with God.

My friend, we are indeed so blessed, because it's true:
God Loves People. Ordinary People. He Even Likes Me & You.

Be Kind...

...for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle. - Plato

I read this quote for the first time a few years back...and you know what I've discovered? That it's true. No matter how perfect someone's life looks, under the surface, there is almost always, if not always, a battle they are fighting. This battle may be circumstantial, or it may be a battle of the mind, visible to no one, but overwelming to them. But one thing is certain: a battle is just as real whether others know about it or not.

Working in the hotel industry, as a CSR, I try to keep this quote in mind at all times...I never know when someone randomly is going to go off cussing at me because something is wrong with their room,etc or just be completely rude for "no reason". Now, on rare occasions, people are rude just because that's how they are. When I suspect that is the case, I endure, standing up to them if necessary though, and then thank God later that I'm not one of the people who have to live with them. One night of dealing with someone is nothing compared to a life time!

Most of the time though, I know, that person has probably just had a bad day...bad year..maybe a bad life. They are feeling callused and thinking only of themselves by this point and no one else. This is not a good excuse for treating someone bad; however, if you are the one dealing with them, this is a healthy way to view the situation, so their bad day doesn't become yours. It might even be a chance to help turn their bad day around!

I am blessed to have quite a few people that I consider "best friends". Most of them do not live in the same place as me, but are people that I have been blessed to get to know through going to college with them, or through them having lived/ spent time where I am from, then having moved elsewhere. They are all very special, amazing people. All very different and all fighting their own battles. Sometimes I might lose touch with one..or only talk via text here and there and from "surface talk" everything seems perfect. Then we actually talk on the phone and often I realize that they are in a battle. I'm then glad they told me so I can help them fight it, in prayer. Friends should never have to fight anything alone.

When that person on the street flips you off, don't let your temper rage and lower yourself to their level. Brush it off. When you feel you have been falsely judged, hold your head up high and continue living your life as you know you should, and pray that God will reveal to the accuser(s) their wrong. No doubt, they too are in a battle as well. Battle grounds aren't a place where most people feel opportunity to kneel and pray before attacking. They tend to attack first and think later.

I could go on and on with scenarios, but the point is: "...we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places". (Ephesians 6:12) That stranger, that friend, that acquaintance.... you have no idea what they may be facing. Don't write them off or snap back too quickly. You have two options: to be the tool God may use to heal them or to be the tool satan may use to hurt them. The phrase "kill them with kindness" has always seemed like an oxymoron, but I think there's more to it...sometimes you really can "kill" the negatives, by being positive. I am often amazed at work at how someone can come to the desk acting foul, and if I ignore their attitude and go above and beyond to treat them great, they often walk away smiling. Not only have I made their day better, but my day is made better as well.

And, guess what...there's good news for all ya'll out there fighting battles:
If you'll let Him, God will fight them for you!

Exodus 14:13-15

And Moses said unto the people, Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the LORD, which he will shew to you to day: for the Egyptians whom ye have seen to day, ye shall see them again no more for ever. The LORD shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace. And the LORD said unto Moses, Wherefore criest thou unto me? speak unto the children of Israel, >that they go forward:

Exodus 15:3

The LORD is a man of war: the LORD is his name

Exodus 14:15

And the LORD said unto Moses, Wherefore criest thou unto me? speak unto the children of Israel, that they go forward

The battlefield can be used as a time to draw closer to God..a chance to become stronger in Him, IF you are spending time with Him..."going forward in Him"

Job 17:9

The righteous also shall hold on his way, and he that hath clean hands shall be stronger and stronger

Psalm 84:7

They go from strength to strength, every one of them in Zion appeareth before God

This blog I read while researching this subject. While I don't agree with all of it, nor know the background of the person that wrote it, I believe it says some good, strong things, and deals with the very important, yet taboo, subject regarding the fine line between reproof and treating people wrongly. I recommend anyone, especially those in leadership, read it.