A God You Can Trust

So, here I am, sitting on my couch for the 6th hour in a row...No, it's not because I'm a loser and a bum. It's because my day has went nothing like I had planned. It started out according to schedule: Teach summer school a few hours...then in charge of watching the boys at Parks Hall for a while,...then, well, before that "then" occurred my plans for the day came to a screeching halt. Out of nowhere I became really dizzy and had to call for someone to fill in for me and take me back to my apartment. This is actually the second day in the row this has happened, but last night I was already sitting on my couch when the feeling hit me. So, my evening plans of catching up via phone with a dear friend and mentor didn't happen (slept through the time we were supposed to talk). Packing for my trip home hasn't happened. Nor has some actual packing up I was planning on doing for a soon coming transition happened. All I have accomplished this evening is eating a little and reading a little...and these only if I hold my head veeerry still.

I'm not saying any of this to make you feel sorry for me, no point in that...well, unless you live nearby and want to bring me ice cream or something. ;o) While I've been lying and sitting here bored out of my mind, I have been trying to think positively, instead of thinking about all the random things I should be accomplishing, but can't just yet. This has kind of been a theme in my life lately..thinking and talking positively no matter what.

So, while I was lying here I got to thinking about how thankful I am that I can barely remember the last time I was sick...and how I should have died in a car accident about 3 years ago, but didn't...I wasn't even hurt more than a few bruises. After that I vowed to myself that I would thank God every day simply for the gift of life, no matter how bad things might seem. And I did...for about a year or so. Recently I realized that I had gotten away from that some, and am now working on it again. No doubt 2 years ago God spared my life as well...think I'm the only person I know who's been in 2 car accidents within 2 hours of each other (for the record, I was only driving in one :o). Once again, no injuries. God has truly protected me.

After thinking about all this this evening, and then starting to read, what do I happen to read but the following:

Sickness helps us appreciate health. Failure helps us appreciate success. Debt helps us appreciate wealth. And the tough times help us appreciate the good times. That's just the way life is. I've also learned that our worst days can become our best days. ~In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day

A quote I just read tonight sums this up well, ""Today's thorn is tomorrow's flower."

The author goes on to talk about how he has a birthday he celebrates and a pseudobirthday. When I first read that I was like "Huh?!" Then it made more sense when he went on to explain how that was basically the day he should have died due to a serious medical problem. He goes on to say:

It is difficult to take life for granted when you have almost died. I enjoy life more because I've come to terms with my mortality.

After that first major accident, many people asked me things like "Did you think you were going to die?" "Did your life flash before your eyes?" I was honestly able to tell them "No". I thought "this might hurt!", but there were many promises and words about my future that God had given me and I knew it wasn't my time, because they hadn't been fulfilled yet. God had spoken and when my car was spinning, being hit, and rolling, in His Words is where I found my peace.

God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good? ~Numbers 23:19

What's going on in your life? Has God spoken to you? If so, are you walking by faith or by sight? God doesn't use words to butter you up and make you feel good. When He speaks, it's for a reason. His words are truth and He doesn't throw them around.

I know my best days are ahead of me. I am excited about committing my life to doing what God has called me to do. Recently I was reminded that only through this will I ever truly be fulfilled. Fulfillment in Christ is my soul desire. I've realized I need it more than I need anything else. Hold to Gods promises. You can trust Him like none other. Do what you know to do and trust God to take care of the rest. He doesn't need someone to offer Him advice; He needs a willing vessel.

A Small Cosmos

How much happier you would be,
how much more of you there would be,
if the hammer of a higher God,
could smash your small cosmos.
~GK Chesterton

Recently a pastor & his wife ministered at the church where I attend. Their messages were each titled differently, but went hand in hand. His: "Intentionally Infinite". Hers: "Intentionally Intimate".

He talked about how God created the universe... with sand & stars immeasurable and with a sun more than 100 times the size of the earth. There were many characteristics of our vast universe that he talked about that day, but what inspired me the most was the reason why He said God created it that way: So we would always remember that God can do ANYTHING. That he created the universe and has all control.

Last week I was at the beach and got to do one of my absolute favorite things ..something I usually only get to do once or twice a year, if I'm luckily. I got to sit on the beach that night, by myself, and listen to the waves and think about God and talk with Him. Nowhere else on the planet do I feel any closer to Him than when I sit and stare at that vast body of water that seems to go on forever and hear those waves crash in perfect rhythm against the shore. It is there that I can partially grasp the full reality of how big He really is. It is there that I also am reminded how small indeed I am, and how that doesn't matter because He cares about me and He is the one in control of everything. It is there that I'm remind of Romans 8:28, and how "..all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose."

Returning back to the pastor & his wife who spoke.. after he had concluded speaking, she then spoke on how God is intentionally intimate...how sometimes, whether through fault of our own or through just life circumstances happening, he will let us go through trials for a while, because it is often in trials that we draw closer to him and learn from him..and that your trial will not last forever. Her personal testimony she shared involved a rare sickness, which almost everyone who had ever had it had died. She was sick for many years with it, but God provided 2 miraculous instantaneous healings and she is now doing very well.

The book I am reading,"In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day" shares the following:

Too often our prayers revolve around asking God to reduce the odds in our lives. We want everything in our favor. But maybe God wants to stack the odds against us so we can experience a miracle of divine proportions. Maybe faith is trusting God no matter how impossible the odds are. Maybe our impossible situations are opportunities to experience a new dimension of God's glory.

Now I know I have already mentioned Romans 8:28..but verse 29 is also very important:

For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son...

So what does it take to make an image? According to an article by Elisabeth Elliot:

Michaelangelo made it sound very simple when he said, "All you have to do is take a block of marble and knock off anything that doesn't look like David." But it takes a hammer and a chisel and a file. There will be hammer blows as God takes upon Himself the shaping of each one of us individuals. So there will be some hammer blows, some very big and recognizable crosses in your life, to change the metaphor. Then there is the chisel, which is painful, chiseling off those sharp corners. Finally there's the file, which is probably everyday in one way or another.

She also goes on to remind that any cross God "sends you He has considered with His all-knowing eyes, understood with His divine mind, tested with His wise justice, warmed with loving arms, and weighed with His own hands, to see that it be not one inch too large and not one ounce too heavy for you."

So..I ask you: What does the universe look like to you? Do you just see your universe.."your small cosmos". Are you in the center of it? Or are remembering that you are a part of God's...and that HE is to be the center?

Your universe may have limited resources, but His doesn't.

His also has a greater plan in mind for your life, a greater one than your finite mind can imagine.

No more tunnel vision. It's time to open our eyes to the big picture.

Tell Him

When I first moved to TCM, I was bracing myself for anything. You see, I realized that working with teenagers can be tough...and that working with teens who have been seriously hurt and abused would be even tougher. On a personal level, I came with expectations of probably some personal slams occuring against yours truly, merely due to someone having a bad day and feeling the need to lash out at whomever happened to be targetable at the moment. I'm not a pessimist, just realistic. I know that hurt people hurt people and I was mentally & emotionally preparing myself for this. I expected it, was prepared for it, and was prepared to implement the correct disciplinary action (aka: send them to the principal :o)), if necessary, but on a personal level, just try to let it roll off my back...

But now, looking back, I have realized just the opposite has happened. Sure, I've heard more than my fair share of rude negative comments, but hardly any personal attacks...in fact, I think I have received more compliments from these kids in the past 5 months than I've probably received in the last 5 years. I've been truly amazed.

One of my favorite love songs is "Tell Him", a song sung by Barbra Streisand & Celine Dion. The song is a conversation between a mother & a daughter. The daughter is in love with a man but is scared to tell him, for fear of rejection. The mom in turn encourages the daughter to tell the man how she feels about him. The daughter then basically says "you're right", that she better tell him now or she won't be able to live with herself.

I know at this point you're probably thinking "Where in the world is she going with this?!"

You see, God likes compliments too. No, God LOVES compliments. Psalm 22:3 says, "But thou art holy, O thou that inhabitest the praises of Israel."...God DWELLS in the praises of His people! God loves praise.

So, TELL HIM. Tell Him how awesome you think He is. How in awe you are of Him. How lovely He is. How breathtaking His creation is. Don't put it off. Tell Him TODAY..and tomorrow...and every day for the rest of your life. He likes to hear it. It makes Him happy. It's music to His ears.

Don't be shy...Tell Him.

Tell Him

Great Expectations

Today, while doing after school care, I saw one of the cutest & funniest things I have seen in a long time. I was watching the kids outside while they were playing on the playground. There were a few squirt bottles filled with ice water for the kids to use, with the understanding that no one's mouth could touch the bottles and therefore the water had to be squirted into their mouths. Eventually 4 or 5 of the kids got thirsty all at once and came over to the cooler to get their drinks, some waiting patiently and other's impatiently for their turn. The older kids insisted that the younger were too young to do it, and so they were helping them...or at least attempting to. Somehow, however, one of the youngest, whose only 4, not only used a bottle on his own, but he actually did it correctly.

Fast forward to a few minutes later..the older kids have the bottles and are standing no where near this child, yet I look up, and there he is...eyes closed, head tilted back, mouth as wide open as he can open it....Obviously this child is expecting some water to be poured into his mouth at any minute. The best part is he stayed in this position for a very long time...and I just stood there watching him...smiling.

I'm honestly not sure if this boy ever did get the water he was expecting...or even know why he struck that pose in the first place. Had someone told him they were going to give him water? Did he just think if he did that, that someone would automatically get the hint and give him some? I have no idea...but I do know that seeing that struck a chord in my heart.

It made me think about God and how I want to have that kind of expectancy with him...that kind of faith. The kind that when I pray about something, I might as well just consider it done.

The look of expectancy I saw on that little boy is the look I want God to see when he looks at me. I assure you, if I had had a water bottle in my hand, that boy would have gotten the water he was waiting on right that minute. How much more does God care about his own children? And how flattering would it be to him to see us with that level of expectancy...that level of faith.

According to God, in the book of Malachi, if we are in right relationship with Him...living like we should & giving like we should, we are given some awesome promises. Why not live expecting them?

...Test me in this and see if I don't open up heaven itself to you and pour out blessings beyond your wildest dreams. (Malachi 3:10 - The Message)

They Which Do Hunger & Thirst

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Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled. ~Matthew 5:6

Lately I have been thinking a lot about men & women of God such as J.T. Pugh, Nona Freeman, T.F.Tenney, Joy Haney, etc. Pretty much since the time I started keeping this blog I have been reading anything and everything I can get my hand on that's written by people of this caliber. I have developed an unquenchable thirst to understand how their walks with God became such as they were/are.

Often I have heard people refer back to certain bygone days as "back in the tent revival days", as if the miracles & revivals seen then are exclusive to that time. And I have heard references to the revivals in Africa, as if they're exclusive to that continent and not to be expected to occur elsewhere...

This is wrong. This is shallow. And I refuse to believe it or to accept it.

These amazing stories are not selective to a certain time or place. They are merely a result of God's children being willing to sacrifice, caring more about seeing God move than about anything else on this earth.

One day this week, in the Bible class I've been teaching to Jr. High students, I taught on miracles. Having read a great article from the UPCI World Network of Prayer Website by Sis. Lisa Marshall, I felt inspired to share it with them. She had written about how the saints of God used to gather for a "season of prayer", an indefinite amount of time in which they would pray until something happened, then they started meeting for a "time of prayer",a set amount of time, such as 5-8 pm, and "if God was going to move, it best happen during that time."..we started giving God time limits. Now we have reached a time where sometimes in services we simply pause for "a moment of prayer". This is very sad and I am convinced this has been reflected in the gradual lessening of miracles and healings that we have been seeing through the years. This must change and it must change now.

I then went on to read to the students random miracles Sis. Nona Freeman had written about in her book "Everything's Gonna to Be Alright!" By the time I was done, many of them were in awe & a few actually wanted me to keep reading.

The next day I taught on prayer, referring to & expounding on another article Sis. Marshall had written on hinderances to prayer. (VERY good article) And then talked to them about if we want to see miracles like "that lady" did,then we have to pray like "that lady" did. (Many of these kids hadn't heard of her until I told them these stories since many of them haven't been raised in an Apostolic church...or oftentimes any church at all.)

You see, through reading these books I have realized (well I already figured, but just needed to be reassured :-)that these people weren't born "super spiritual" with their own personal, way quicker & clearer than everyone else's, ultra-special, direct line to God....at least not more so than anyone else who's ever been born. They too had to grown in their walks with God & in their faith. They too had moments of frustration & moments of weakness in faith. However, each time things seemed hopeless and they saw God work, their faith grew and their faith strengthened.

I've came to the conclusion that each & every one of us can be used by God as much and to whatever extent that we desire to be. The only questions are: how bad do we want it & what are we willing to do about it?

I don't know about you, but I hunger. I hunger to dig deeper into God's word. I thirst. I thirst to glean from the numerous men & women of God who know much more than I do & have experienced much more than I have. I hunger. I hunger for longer conversations with God filled more with Him speaking & me listening, versus me speaking & Him listening. I thirst. I thirst to go wherever He wants me to go and do whatever He wants me to do.

However...
I may be hungry & I may be thirsty...but there's a world that's starving. It's starving spiritually. They're eating whatever they can get their hands on, yet every morning they still wake up with the same sick, empty filling, deciding "Tomorrow I'm going to try something else." And often, they do...and yet still wake up to that same feeling. Why not offer Christ and let Him be the next thing they try?

I hunger & I thirst to assist God in feeding this starving world.

So what about you?...What are YOU hungry & thirsty for?

And he humbled thee, and suffered thee to hunger, and fed thee with manna, which thou knewest not, neither did thy fathers know; that he might make thee know that man doth not live by bread only, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of the LORD doth man live. ~Deuteronomy 8:3

And gavest them bread from heaven for their hunger, and broughtest forth water for them out of the rock for their thirst, and promisedst them that they should go in to possess the land which thou hadst sworn to give them. ~Nehemiah 9:15

Luke 6:21
Blessed are ye that hunger now: for ye shall be filled. Blessed are ye that weep now: for ye shall laugh.