Worth the Wait

So, normally sappy is not my writing style, but this blog will be one exception...For those whose faces distort into a sour face just at the sound of the word "sappy", this is your chance to turn back now...You have officially been warned.

 Lately I've been going through all 13,769,046 pages (or so it seems) of paperwork that I have accumulated through the years, in an effort to get rid of everything I don't absolutely need. In the midst of this chaos I came across something I'd written back in 2007, when I was doing mission work in Lithuania for the summer.  It's not a devotional, like I normally write on here, but rather it's simply words from the heart of a single missionary about something she just happened to observe one day and the impression that it made on her. It's about love....real love.

"I'm sitting here at the Vilnius bus station, waiting to leave for Riga.  When I first arrived at the platform, where I would eventually catch my bus, my attention was drawn to a certain young lady and young gentleman.  For the approximately thirty minutes that we waited for the bus I could tell that, as far they were each concerned, the other person was the only other one in the world. 

As they stood, holding each other close, I wondered what their story was. Was he leaving on just a short trip? A long one? Did he even live here? When did they meet? How did they meet? While I knew none of these answers, from where I was sitting I could see in her eyes that she truly loved him. 

It didn't end there. As we loaded the bus, she stayed by his side until she couldn't any longer. Then, for about thirty more minutes, she stood outside his window.  They both just looked at each other with sad eyes, every once in a while mouthing, no doubt, words of endearment to each other.  Every once in a while, when another bus would pull up, she would move out of the way, then move right back to the spot by his window. As we pulled out to leave she was standing there waving until the bus was out of sight.

A lot of times I get asked the question, "What are you waiting for?" Or, of course, "Who are you waiting for?" While I may not know who, I definitely know what I'm waiting for. I'm waiting for that kind of love.  Love in which I'd almost rather die than have to leave the other person.  A love where we can just look at each other, not a say a word, and yet a thousand be spoken. A love that, were it taken away, would hurt to the same extent that it felt good.  Most of all, I want a love in which I can give all of my heart, knowing He will give me back the same."

While  I wrote this years ago, my perspective still remains the same. I still believe that special person will indeed be worth the wait.

 Love is Waiting

Grace in Disguise

"But Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord." ~Genesis 6:8

Often when we think of the story of Noah we think of the verse above... how Noah found grace in God's eyes, how Noah and his family were spared the fate that so many other people had fell victim to, by their own choice.

Rarely do we think about what grace looked like on that ark on the 23rd, or on the 32nd, or on the 39th day. Rarely do we think about the fact that grace is not always pretty when living through the preliminaries, especially when we don't yet realize they are simply just that....a beginning, not an ending.

The Bible says in Genesis 7:24 that "the waters prevailed upon the earth an hundred and fifty days." 150 days living with a bunch of stinky animals....Imagine how gross those stalls must have been!

The smells...the claustrophobia...5 months!!!

Oh, but then consider the alternative.

Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. ~Phillippians 4:11

Calvary was very ugly. It's hard for us to even comprehend the brutality that occurred on that day, but it was even worse for those who had walked with Jesus day in and day out, who had to stand by and witness God in flesh being treated worse than a criminal.

If  only they could have truly understood then, what we are so blessed to understand now.

Circumstances in your life may look bleak. You may feel like you have "drawn the short straw" ...possibly multiple times over. Know that His grace is sufficient. He trades beauty for ashes and makes all things beautiful in His time.

To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified. ~Isaiah 61:3

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. ~2 Corinthians 12:9

When God Winks

"And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.” ~Deuteronomy 31:8 (NKJV)

When I say "when God winks", I'm not talking about when he winks in the Biblical sense of the word, as in Acts 17:30, where it literally means "to overlook". No, I am talking about when God winks, as in that sweet confirming feeling when that special caring and wiser elder individual in your life gives you that knowing wink. That assurance feeling. That "I've got your back" reminder. To me it's similar to a God Smile, but not quite the same. A "God Smile" is more an earthly pat on the back. When God "winks", it's His way of saying, "Keep your chin up; I've got your back."

Not long ago, I felt led to attempt to deputize in a few areas extremely far from home. This was a major decision for me, in part because the gasoline alone was going to cost about every penny I had. Starting out, I really only knew for sure a few places that I was going to be able to speak. Still, believing it was the right decision, but not wanting to be unwise, I asked God for confirmation as for what I should do. It came quickly and was undeniable. So, completely walking by faith, I headed out, still a little nervous, but knowing God's hand was in it.

For the next month and a half it seemed like almost every day I saw God wink. From doors opening like I never could have imagined, to the overwelmingly kind way people received me, to the special connections I was blessed to make, to even the little things...especially the little things. There are many things I might need or desire, but that I simply choose to go without. Usually God is the only one that actually knows what those things are. During this time God showed me over and over and over again that not only does He know, but that He cares. And that there is NOTHING so small that He doesn't care about. During this time of contemplating and coming to a more full understanding of this concept, I was meandering through a thrift store one day and right on top of of a book I'd been wanting for a long time was a book called "When God Winks at You".  Oh the irony. Needless to say, both of these books are now on my bookshelf.

While I still have quite a long ways to go in this deputational journey, God has truly blown my mind thus far and has shown me His glory in so many beautiful ways.  I am thankful I do not serve a distant impersonal God or a God made by man's hands that is nothing more than elements from this earth on which we walk, but rather I serve a God who smiles, who winks, who loves. I serve a God that will take care of me to the same extent that I choose to depend on Him. Never before have I walked so much by faith, and never before have I seen God work so much in my life.

"The love of God cannot be comprehended through knowledge; it can only be known through experience." ~Rev. Rodney Shaw 

"..for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him."  ~Matthew 6:8

Staging a Protest

“All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

I am presently reading a book called “The Devil in Pew Number Seven” by Rebecca Nichols Alonzo.The writer’s very creative narrative of her own birth made quite an impression on me:

 

I yelled.

My eyes were pinched shut against a light as harsh as a solar flare. They stung as if sprayed with salt water. From head to toe, my skin tingled as if a blast of arctic air had swept over me. Chilled to the bone, I couldn’t explain the traumatic change in the temperature. My body shivered, trembling like a leaf in the wind.  And, although I was suddenly cold, my lungs burned with each breath.

In vain, I cried out.

My legs, kicking without regard for the hands that attempted to hold me down, were no match for the masked faces surrounding me. I could not make sense of their muffled voices. Out of control, powerless to hold my head up, I was carried away against my will. With fingers curled into a ball of fury, face as red as Mars, I howled so loudly the wail could be heard down the hall.

Like all humanity before me, I entered the world staging a protest.

My first thought when I read this was “..and so it is with us.”  How many times in life does our flesh protest something God wants us to do or perhaps just something he wills us to endure?  How many times does He move us forward, while our heels are still dug in the sand?  How many times has He asked us simply to remain standing, yet we proclaim a sit in and recruit friends to join us.  

A baby’s options are death or life, nothing else, and so it is with us. Stagnation is a spiritual killer, as is letting down your guard, forgetting or neglecting to keep your spiritual armor on. Recently, while driving through the state of Missouri, I read alarming statistics posted on an illuminated sign beside the interstate: “Number of Deaths this Year: 711; 64% Unbuckled”.  I personally have been in at least one accident, in which I have no doubt that I would have died, had I not been wearing a seat belt. Instead, due to this precaution, and, no doubt, greatly due to God’s protection, I walked out of the car, practically unscathed. At 70 mph, the car had rolled multiple times and finally landed upside down, with a caved in roof.  When I read that sign reporting the number of deaths I just kept thinking, how low would that first number have  been, had, by chance, that second number been lower? And how much is this like us in the spiritual realm? How many casualties could be prevented if we simply remembered to keep our spiritual armor on at all times? (Ephesians 6:10-18)

Whether God has told you to move or whether He’s told you to stand. Don’t doubt. Don’t question. If He has spoken, you can rest assured that the path you will trod will be the safest. Why?  Because He has promised to be with you.

As the song goes…

“Many things about tomorrow

I don’t seem to understand,

But I know who holds tomorrow

And I know He hold my hand.”

So stand up, put down those protest signs, and get those heels out of the sand. God is FOR you. (Psalm 56:9)

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. ~Jeremiah 29:11

My Dad. My Hero.

"... A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach; Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous; One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;(For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without..." ~1 Timothy 3:2-7

Today is my Father's 75th birthday.  He is not a bishop, however he is a man that the above passage could easily have been written about. I have been blessed to have been raised by an example of a true prince of  a man and would love to share with you a little about this special person.

He was born in Ohio and raised in West Virginia. By no means is he someone who started out with everything handed to him in life. In fact, he left home at the age of 15 to begin working, to help provide for his family back in West Virginia who was struggling financially. As a man with great musical talent, he has traveled, seeing most of the U.S, and lived in many places, sharing his talent everywhere he went, and connecting with many others who shared the same love for music as him. He has always been well loved, by those who are familiar and strangers alike. If my mom and I are shopping somewhere and he decides to wait for us sitting on a bench, we know that by the time we come back he will know the life story of the individual who happens to sit down next to him...and that we will be introduced to them upon our return. :-)

My father's family came to first know of God in full truth in his early teens, when his stepfather, who had earlier been an atheist, was healed of cancer at a local tent revival. My father's complete surrender to God and His perfect will for his life came later, after he had married my mother and she had received the Holy Ghost. During this time, while living in Poplar Bluff, Missouri, where they would remain for around twenty years, my parents chose to fully commit their lives to God.  For my father in particular, this meant forfeiting a likely career in the country music industry, due to realizing that it was a world that was not conducive to raising a Christian family.  Having already made his first album in Nashville, and having many key connections, this was a big sacrifice for my dad and I greatly respect him for it. All my life I have been taught with a clear understanding that life is not about gaining fortune or fame, but simply about pleasing God.

As a child growing up in Missouri, many of my memories of my dad revolve around ministry. I remember participating in Sunday School bus ministry evangelism, going door to door on Saturdays, dressed up in cartoon character costumes, inviting little kids to service.  My dad was often dressed as Bugs Bunny and little kids would bring him carrots. Him and my mom also were involved in nursing home ministry and always brought me along for this as well...two nursing homes, every other Saturday. Some of my best, squeeky solos, have been sung for elderly people. While it's doubtful that it ministered to them, it did always make them smile. :-) My Mom and Dad also, of course, have continued to minister in song in church services and at various events...only now they sing for God alone.  My brothers and I also used to accompany them sometimes.

Later, after moving to Arkansas, in my teen years, I always appreciated how my Dad was so faithful to be there for me for big events, both for school events and for Bible Quizzing events.  Due to being a self-employed contractor, and his busiest times usually being in the summer, we rarely were able to take summer family vacations. However, when Fall rolled around, if there was any way possible, I knew he would  dedicate over a week to coming to the North American Bible Quiz Tournament/ General Conference to support and to encourage me and my team and to enjoy conference with us.  

Throughout my life I have seen my parents counsel and help restore multiple couples who have been on the verge of divorce. In times of plenty, I have seen them assist those who were hurting financially. Throughout the years my dad has hired and mentored many young men, some whom no one else would have hired, such as former prisoners and a man with HIV. I have seen him become a father like figure to a young man whose father was in prison due to the father's terrible treatment of his family. My dad has indeed been a father to the fatherless; himself knowing what it's like to grow up in a rough environment, without a true father figure.

For 42 years, my dad has shown himself a true man of God to his wife, and for 40 years, to his children. I have never seen my dad lash out at anyone, inside the home or outside the home. If there were a word that I think would sum up him and his actions in a nutshell, it would be "humble."  On any given morning in my parents home I know I will hear and see both of them reading the Bible and praying. True humility comes from one realizing their proper place in this thing we call life. I'm thankful for a father who realized it a long time ago, before I was even born. And I'm thankful for an evangelist, whom I will never meet, who years ago bothered to preach a tent revival in a small country town in West Virginia.

Below are some pics from a display for a surprise party we had on my Dad's 70th birthday. Enjoy!