The Journey

The Gift of a Talent

2012-01-29T04:27:00.010-06:00

For quite a few months now I have found myself thinking about the parable in Matthew 25:14-30, the Parable of the Talents. If you are not familiar with this story, I encourage you to click on the link above and read it before proceeding any further. Grant it, I realize this passage isn't literally about "talents" as we know them, but it is indeed applicable to anything we have received from God, whether it be finances, talents etc.

I'm not really sure what triggered my thoughts being strong on this passage as of late. Perhaps working in a church pioneering effort on foreign soil and the many various hats our team here has to wear has got me thinking about it. Logically, for every responsibility each person on the team here holds, there is a God given talent being used to accomplish it. And we each wear many hats, some weeks more than others. That said though, this hasn't provoked me to think, "Oh look at that, you got this talent and that talent, and...", but rather it has made me more strongly aware of those areas that I wish I were more skilled in, those areas where I wish I could at least offer to rotate out with someone or fill a void that no one else is either able to or has time to fill. (Since the amount of people on the ministry team here fluctuates, due to various reasons, sometimes most voids are filled, sometimes they are not..we do what we can with what and who we have, and trust God to bless our efforts.)

So, in light of these circumstances, and the extreme seriousness of the latter part of this passage, I have found myself praying for God to reveal to me talents He has given me that I may not yet be aware of. Instead, thus far, He has begun to remind me of ones I have had in the past, that I no longer use, or ones that I had begun developing, but had cast aside do to inconvenience, lack of time, (insert another bad excuse), etc.

And, I have decided to do something about it. This year, my "hobbies" will revolve mainly around strengthening my skills in an instrument I used to play (violin), as well as becoming more skilled on the piano, so that I no longer freeze up or feel like I am going to get sick every time I have to play in front of people. (I don't want to stop at being "good enough", but getting past the "freak out" stage will be my starting point.:-)

There are other things God has been dealing with me about.. for example a foreign language that I don't even want to think about how many hours, between high school and college, I have spent time studying, only to not have ever achieved fluency? My reasoning has been that I don't think I'll ever live any where that it is a national language, yet, with all the time I've committed already, why not complete the process? That language is French and one of my closest friends who live here in Latvia now is from France..I really have no excuses.

I could mention more things God has been speaking to me about, but I won't. My point is this: God created us. We are His. We, including our time and our talents, are His. So, are there any talents that you are neglecting in your life? What skills has God given you that you no longer use or that you have never finished polishing off? What is holding you back? How legitimate are your excuses?

Whether you have many talents or few is not the point, the point is, is there something you can being doing (or at least be able to do, should it be needed) that you are not doing? Is there something that you could be able to do with a little (or perhaps quite a bit of) work?

Maybe you fall in a different category. Maybe you are like someone close to me who has many talents, but their talents were abused, due to their not ever being able to say "no", when asked to be in charge of this or that. Eventually they did learn to say "no"...and never stopped. This is not ok either. We can each only carry so heavy of a load, however we must all do what we can as we are able.

So I dare you, ask God what talents you might have tucked away long ago or that you may be completely unaware of. Talents He gave you for a purpose. Whether God given-talents or skills in which He provided the opportunity for you to attain them, it doesn't matter. Discover them, then give those gifts back to God.

But he that had received one went and digged in the earth, and hid his lord's money... Then he which had received the one talent came and said, Lord, I knew thee that thou art an hard man, reaping where thou hast not sown, and gathering where thou hast not strawed:And I was afraid, and went and hid thy talent in the earth: lo, there thou hast that is thine. His lord answered and said unto him, Thou wicked and slothful servant, thou knewest that I reap where I sowed not, and gather where I have not strawed: Thou oughtest therefore to have put my money to the exchangers, and then at my coming I should have received mine own with usury. Take therefore the talent from him, and give it unto him which hath ten talents.For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath.And cast ye the unprofitable servant into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day

2012-01-28T13:36:00.014-06:00

A few days ago, while in the tunnel to board the last flight on my way back to Latvia, traffic got backed up, and I found myself at a stand still, staring out the window. To be more specific, I found myself staring at the pilot, a man probably in his late 50s, most likely of Russian decent, who had a stern look on his face, and a serious unibrow. In all actuality the man reminded me of someone who may have played one of the bad guys in one of those old black and white war movies. While looking at him and thinking about this my next thought was, "By walking onto this plane I am making the choice to put my life in this man's hands." About that time my eyesight shifted and I realized the co-pilot was observing me, observing the pilot. My next thought was "I'm putting my life in his hands too." About that time traffic started moving and I shortly found myself on the plane, sitting in my assigned seat, staring out the window at the wing my seat overlooked. I then began to think about all the individuals that were involved in making and servicing this plane and how there were no doubt hundreds of people that I was choosing to "trust" just by the simple acts of purchasing my tickets and getting on the plane. In a little over one month I had made this choice to board a plane built, serviced, and flown by people I know absolutely nothing about 8 different times. And strangely enough, this thought did not have me sweating bullets, or even really disturb me even the slightest bit.

But it did get me thinking about a relationship with someone I do personally know, my Heavenly Father. I am presently reading for the second time what I would consider one of my top five favorite books "Ïn a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day" by Mark Batterson. The back cover of the books says, "What if the life you really want and the future God wants for you is hiding right now in your biggest problem, your worst failure...your greatest fear? The book is basically about saying goodbye to fear and hello to faith in God. Not just faith that there is a God, but that the steps of good men truly are ordered by Him.

How is it that it can be so easy to nonchalantly entrust one's safety to an airline, etc, but when in the path of life one come to a crossroads, brickwall, he can find himself spiritually hyperventilating? I have no doubt God has came through for both me and for you many more times than any airline has, so why do we ever even question what the future may hold? There is a reason why I have decided to read this book at this certain time...because I know it would remind me of some things that I already know, but just could use hearing again. Thought I would share a few of the passages with you as well, you know, in case you too are at or approaching a crossroads, brick wall, or cliff and might find some of these words beneficial. :-)

"Whenever I counsel someone who is wrestling with diserning the will of God, I remind them of this simple truth: God wants you to get where God wants you to go more than you want to get where God wants you to go....If you keep in step with the Spirit, God is going to make sure you get where He wants you to go. He is always working behind the scenes, engineering our circumstance and setting us up for success.....Now here's the catch: Sometimes His itinerary entails coming face to face with a lion in a pit on a snowy day. But when you find yourself in those challenging circumstances, you need to know that God is ordering your footsteps. You can have a sense of destiny because you know that God has considered every contingency in your life, and He always has your best interest at heart. And that sense of destiny, rooted in the sovereignty of God, helps you pray the unthinkable and attempt the impossible.

This book is based on the scriptures in 2 Samuel that talk about a man named Benaiah who went down into a pit on a snowy day to kill a lion. The writer is making the point that we are to face fears & challenges, rather than run from them. Those who do so are referred to as "lion chasers".

Lionchasers challenge the status quo....they don't need to know what is coming next because they know that God knows. They don't need explanations for every disappointment because they know God has a plan.....The longer I live, the more I think spiritual maturity is less about figuring out the future and more about a moment-by-moment sensitivity to the Spirit of God. I'm not saying we shouldn't make plans. But you might want to use a pencil with an eraser and have a shredder handy...I believe in planning. I believe in goal setting. But there are some things in life you can't plan or predict. And that drives the obsessive compulsive part of us crazy. We want control, but the decision to follow Christ is a relinquishment of control. Following Christ is letting Jesus take the wheel. [and not acting like backseat drivers or asking "Are we there yet?"]

I am glad to say that at this moment in my life I am not standing at a crossroad, a brick wall, or a cliff. However, it is likely that, in the not so far future, I will be. (Hopefully just the crossroad :-) That said, much like the author, I too am very goal oriented, so when I don't have a plan, and God remains mum, that obsessive compulsive side starts to get a little stir crazy. I have also learned that absolutely nothing can be done to get God to speak any sooner. He is always on time, but, in my personal experience, rarely early. Therefore I have sufficed it to remind myself that on God's time clock for my own life it is only about 8 or 9 oclock and he usually announces the plan around 11..though He has full authority to wait until that absolute last minute. He does, however, always come, always speak, always provide, always open that right door, always provide that special need. He always has and He always will. And it has always been better than I could have even expected.

Before leaving a ministry conference I attended in Louisiana last week, I was riding with a friend to the airport, telling her about how I fly standby and how I had been so thankful to get a window seat with no one next to me on the international flight to the states. I had been the last person to board the plane, and even in the past when I have bought a pre-purchased ticket early, I have still always got that terrible seat in the middle of the middle row, sitting next to two strangers. I then prayed out loud, somewhat jokingly, that I would get the same kind of seat on that international flight back..window with empty seat next to me. I then told my friend she was my witness, for when it happened. Well, I didn't just get my wish for that for the international flight, but on all three flights I had to fly on the way home, two of which I flew standby. There were also many little needs and just plain "wants" that I prayed for before my visit home and to that conference, such as clothing for the cold weather here, certain restaurants I hoped to get to eat at,etc. Some things were very important and some were just desires. God came through for every single one. And believe me, there were quite a few.

If God cares about the little insignificant things, how much more does He care about us surviving those moments in our lives when we face lions in pits on snowy days? The author of this book makes the point that had Benaiah not went through those many heart pounding situations, he would have never had the exceptional resume that most likely opened the door for him to be put in charge of the king's bodyguard, making him one of the most respected people in the kingdom.

So, put on that lion slaying attire and remember that God does all things well, has your best interest at heart (if you have HIS best interest at heart), and is ALWAYS on time!

A Missionary's Conversation with God

2011-12-10T19:05:00.007-06:00

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. ~Psalm 119:105

When I read this poem for the first time recently it really touched my heart. These words portray a conversation I believe all those called to share The Gospel in lands foreign to them have had with God at some time or another. This poem talks about the "crown" promised. However, it's not about a crown or about the jewels that may be in it. It's about people. About lives. About souls. Crowns don't matter. People do. Much more than anything that glitters ever could.

I said, "Let me walk in the field."
God said, "No, walk in the town."
I said, "There are no flowers there."
He said, "No flowers, but a crown."

I said, "But the sky is black,
There is nothing but noise and din.
"He wept as He sent me back,
"There is more," He said, "there is sin."

I said, "But the air is thick
And fogs are veiling the sun."
He answered, "But souls are sick,
Souls in the darkness undone."

I said, "I will miss the light,
And my friends will miss me, they say."
He answered, "Choose tonight,
If I am to miss you, or they."

I pleaded for time to be given.
He said, "Is it hard to decide?
It will not seem hard in Heaven
To have followed the steps of your Guide."

I cast one look at the field,
Then set my face to the town.
He said, "My child, do you yield?
Will you leave the flowers for a crown?"

Then into His hand went mine,
And into my heart came He.
Now I walk with a light Divine,
The path I had feared to see.
~George MacDonald

Cleaning House

2011-11-10T06:36:00.009-06:00

No man can enter into a strong man's house, and spoil his goods, except he will first bind the strong man; and then he will spoil his house. ~Mark 3:27

Spring Cleaning. It's the big tradition in the states; it's even become a coined phrase used by many cleaning supply companies. It's a big deal. It makes the keeper of the house feel a great sense of accomplishment and it makes anyone else who may be living there quite happy as well.

I too am one of those who tend to jump on the Spring Cleaning band wagon. However, I also have another mood that hits me about this time of year...perhaps it could be called "Fall Cleaning". I know, I know. It doesn't quite have the same pep in it's step when you say it, but, none the less, it motivates me just about the same as the other. I'm not sure why. Perhaps it is the fact that I know a long winter awaits, especially now that I am living in Northern Europe, and that the atmosphere of my humble abode is something that will be even more important during the long winter days ahead that I may be stuck at home. How clean it is... how organized it is...These are things that are going to be staring me in the face on a much more regular basis here in the near future. And, like anyone with a Momma who taught them well, I care. I really care. I haven't always cared so much, but the inner Ms. Homemaker in me has made her debut and the slightly OCD Martha Stewart side is starting to peek it's way through. My latest project: organizing the closet. Granted, I moved to Europe with only 2 suitcases worth of my belongings to live off of for over a year, and just a few random things have been mailed to me since, but you would be greatly surprised at how much I managed to squeeze into those two suitcases! That said, my closet now looks like something that would make even the manager of the highest end department store proud. And, this being the last of my extreme cleaning/ organizing projects for now...my home is now officially "winter ready".

In the midst of all this I'm reminded of one great thing about being single and not yet having a husband or children: Everything I have cleaned, and especially everything I have organized, will remain exactly as it is unless I personally choose to change or mess it up. Now, stick with me, I'm going somewhere with this...

Such is the Christian life. No matter how close you are to other people, whether family, friends, mentors, etc, you have to do the cleaning and organizing for your life and only YOU can truly change or mess up what you have worked so hard to "clean" or make right. Others can try to affect your decisions in positive or negative ways, however you choose whether you will ignore or heed to what they say. YOU make the final choice as to if you will act or not act on their advice. You and only you are the "homemaker" in your life. When all is said and done, it will be you that will stand before the Lord your maker by yourself. Your heart...your home, is your own. No one but God should ever be allowed to dwell there. God's voice should always be the one you listen to the closest when it comes to the cleaning and organizing of your life.

The Bible says that "you are not your own" but that "you are bought with a price". If you are truly sold out, if you are truly "not your own", then when your house is clean, you'll keep it that way. Anyone who has ever cleaned knows how much easier it is to get everything really clean, and then clean up efficiently on a regular basis, than to let everything get dirty and gross and then try to get it all cleaned up. The latter is much harder and in the mean time leaves you and those close to you in a very uncomfortable living situation as well. Why not just keep your "house" in order?

At the beginning of this blog I quoted the verse about the strong man, one often used in reference to evil, rather than good. However, it works the same both ways. If you are Spirit filled, the God in you is WAY stronger than flesh or any evil spirit. YOU are the one who chooses whether to be an overcomer or allow yourself to be bound. You choose the voices that you will listen to.

Your House = Your Heart

Keep your heart clean! Get things right with God. Then, die (repent) DAILY. Yes, daily. Don't just ask God to forgive you quickly then move on along, but ask Him to search your heart. There may be things hanging around that have been there for a very long time, of which you are not even aware,that are affecting your very being. However, if you won't take the time to listen to God, rather than just speak to Him, He certainly won't bother to reveal them to you. God is a gentlemen, He gives men the power of choice and will not speak out of turn. The cool thing: When your heart is clean the organizing side will gradually just fall in place. When you're repenting daily and seeking God's will daily, He WILL speak. He WILL lead you. You WILL feel a peace that passes all understanding, because you will trust and know, on a whole knew level, that God does ALL things well.

He desires your heart to be clean much more than we could every desire our homes to be clean. There is a great contentment that comes from having a tidy home. Philippians 4:11 says, "Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content." When your "house" is clean, you will know contentment because you will daily be acknowledging that He does all things well and has all things in control. It is through this manifestation of your faith that He will begin to reveal his perfect will to you.

Do what you can; God will do what you can't. Keep your house clean. Find your contentment in God and He WILL, not might not maybe, not possibly, He WILL "order your steps" and "supply all your needs according to His riches in glory."

Christians in Action

2011-09-06T16:12:00.003-05:00

"...And the disciples were called Christians first in Antioch." ~Acts 11:26

"Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you - not because they are nice, but because you are." ~Author Unknown

"What this world needs is a new kind of army - the army of the kind." ~Cleveland Amory

Christian - "Christ-like".

When I was in high school I was in a club called Christians in Action (aka: CIA :-). I feel the name of this club sums up the excerpt below I felt to share. While we, as Christians, are not saved by works, if God's Spirit is truly in us it WILL show through in the fruit we bear...Love, Joy, Peace, Longsuffering, Gentleness, Goodness, Faith, Meekness, Temperance.

The below is from a fictional book I am reading titled "The Silas Diary" by Gene Edwards. While it is a fictional work, it is based on the real journeys of the Apostle Paul as recorded in the Book of Acts. Whether or not this is the way it was, only God knows...however, this IS the way it should be and I truly belief the way it can be:

...During the course of a year, some who have rooms lose them because they have no money or nothing left with which to barter. During the winter, some barter all they own for food. In this region of Galatia, many slaves, when given the opportunity, refuse to be set free. Others, once freed and on the edge of starvation, sell themselves back into slavery. Hardship is a constant companion in the lives of these people. Such are the people who make up the community of believers in Pisidia.
A group of people have become brothers and sisters, their new way of life wonderful and joyful. It is a way of living never before seen on the face of the earth. Yet God ordained that it come into being in this poor and remote region of Asia Minor.
It is amazing, as I look back, to see how these holy ones take care of one another. If one brother finds a job in the marketplace and the supervisor needs more help, that brother runs to find another brother so he, too, can work that day.
When several brothers work together, they work harder and better. They share a spirit of joy, often singing, often praising. Though the masters and supervisors don't understand it, they remember these men who work so well together. As they hire workers each morning in the marketplace, they search out these faces first. Some of the merchants have been known to say: "You, today you work. Go find your friends, the ones you call brothers, the ones you laugh and sing with."
In the gatherings, brothers tell one another about possible places to look for a day's work. The next night they tell everyone about how the Lord provided them a job, while the rest listen, rejoice, laugh, and interrupt.
Nor were the brothers alone in this new way of meeting needs. This new life inside them was changing everyone and everything, affecting the women as much as the men. The sisters in Pisidia began caring for one another, a phenomenon unknown in the Gentile world. They care for one another in the most unexpected ways. In childbirth, of course, but also working together at the river and in their homes and rooms. (Those who have no home and have to sleep in the forum are especially cared for.) Any sister who becomes sick is soon cared for throughout the night and day.
I have often seen the sisters working together in the fields, caring for one another's children, sharing vegetables and grain with one another, or cleaning rooms together. Sometimes they meet only to sing, to talk, to cry, to care, and to be cared for. If one somehow manages to have more than a day's supply of food, they often come together and prepare one big meal so all can have a good meal that day.

"Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!" ~Psalm 133:1

The End of The Beginning

2011-07-28T03:23:00.006-05:00

"If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men." ~ 1 Corinthians 15:19 (NIV)

I have had this verse on my mind all week...how very true it is! I am so thankful for the blessings of God in my life, but way more than that I am thankful that this 70 or so years isn't all there is. I have an eternity in Heaven with my Savior to look forward to! An eternity of total peace and joy. The link to the song below is about how Jesus dying on Calvary was not an end, but a beginning for all of us! Through Him rising and conquering sin, we are able to have our own personal relationship with Him. No more veils. No more standing outside while a designated man goes into the Holy of Holies. WE get to stand boldly before God's throne when we pray! When we repent, He forgives. When we are baptized in Jesus name, our sins are washed away and we feel cleaner than we have ever felt inside, and when we ask for Him to fill us with His Spirit, He is glad to oblige. (Acts 2:37-38) His greatest desire is to dwell in us. If we let Him live in us, the options are limitless as to the awesome ways He can use us for His glory and for the good of those around us!

The two quotes below, by the author C.S. Lewis, describe well what that yearning that every human being feels deep inside...it also explains how that yearning is proof of great reason to be sure to treat those around you with the special care they deserve. I pray God blesses and ministers to you as you read and listen to the below.

..."If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world...If none of my earthly pleasures satisfy it, that does not prove that the universe is a fraud. Probably earthly pleasures were never meant to satisfy it, but only... to suggest the real thing. If that is so, I must take care, on the one hand, never to despise, or be unthankful for, these earthly blessings, and on the other, never to mistake them for the something else of which they are only a kind of copy, echo, or mirage...I must keep alive in myself the desire for my true country, which I shall not find till after death; I must never let it get snowed under or turned aside; I must make it the main object of life to press on to the other country and to help others do the same."

"It may be possible for each to think too much of his own potential glory hereafter; it is hardly possible for him to think too often or too deeply about that of his neighbor. The load, or weight, of burden of my neighbor's glory should be laid on my back, a load so heavy that only humility can carry it, and the backs of the proud will be broken....It is a serious thing... to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you could see it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare....There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. It is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit--immortal horrors or everlasting splendors...All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or the other of these destinations."

End of the Beginning

Pr"i"de

2011-05-23T06:51:00.019-05:00

Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and extol and honor the King of heaven, all of whose works are truth, and His ways justice. And those who walk in pride He is able to abase. ~Daniel 4:37 (NKJ)

Pride- "faith in yourself"

Many years ago I remember the then UPCI's National Bible Quiz Master's wife, Sis. Claudette Walker, speaking at a quiz extravaganza I was attending. That day she spoke about pride...or rather Pr"i"de. She was of course speaking to a group of around 70 teams, so her main purpose of the message was basically the concept that there is no "I" in team and that pride will destroy both a person and a team.

Recently I was talking to a friend about this same issue and afterwards continued to still have this word on my mind. "Pride". I can probably quote most of the Bible verses that contain this word. But I got to thinking... what exactly is pride? How would you define it? I knew how I personally would define it, but how would someone else? What causes it? What are the signs of it? How does one overcome it? I have developed the tendency to avoid people that struggle with the sin of pride like they have the plague. I loathe it. For some reason I had begun looking at it as the "incurable disease".

But, the last few days God has convicted me about this and been reminding me that people with this issue need deliverance just as bad as people with any other sin in their life...therefore, I have been wondering how in the world a friend/ family member can play a role in helping someone over come an issue like this...one that the root is believing there is no issue. One that is the root of many other sins. The human side of me automatically thinks "just 'put them in their place' a few times & that will bring them down a notch"...Obviously though, this is not the proper godly route to take. No, I believe understanding is the first step and prayer the second. There are other things as well, if one is in authority or a very close relationship with someone, that could be done (such as directly addressing the issue), but in general, for every situation, prayer is the key.

I have seen so many amazingly talented & anointed people's lives destroyed due to pride..not from pride itself, but rather from what pride begot. It saddens me to think about it.

Out of curiosity I decided to look up what was available online about this subject and found this great,extremely informative website to which I have posted a link below. I encourage you to check it out. It defines pride, symptoms of pride, causes of pride, differences between pride/arrogance & faith, etc.

One thing I don't know that I total agree with that's mentioned in this article (though it's more true than not) is where it says "A proud person does not pray much, and a praying person is not bothered much with pride." I have not always found this to be the case and the only reason I can think of is that while a person may pray a lot, if there prayer is one sided, rather than two sided ---talking, but not listening, they are not placing themselves in submission to authority...which is a sign of pride.

Perhaps each of us can find an area we could improve in while reading the symptoms list? I am thankful there is no such thing as an "incurable disease" for Jesus is in the healing & restoration business! Let's be sure to always keep our faith in God, NOT in ourselves.

God Hates Pride

Unredeemed

2011-04-03T23:53:00.009-05:00

One of the perks I enjoy best about serving God is getting to watch Him work miracles. Every time I see Him work one it just reminds me how much He loves us and how His love is limitless. Thankfully I have been blessed to get to see quite a few miracles lately...some in my own life, others in those of my friends and acquaintances.

Recently I have had the privilege of watching God begin to restore a family to which I am quite close. A while back I wrote a blog entitled "The Battlefield". In this blog I referenced my dear friend and the guilt and misery she was feeling at the time. Shortly after on Facebook I posted a video to a song that I felt very strongly to share with her. What to many would look like an impossible situation, God could and is redeeming. Below are the lyrics to this beautiful song. "But when anything that's shattered is laid before the Lord"---This is the key. God HAS TO be in it for redemption to come...and because of grace it WILL come. The catch? You must ALWAYS keep God the center of your universe. He's only going to show off for those who will give Him the praise He alone deserves!

Redeem: to release from blame or debt

Grace: unmerited (undeserved) favor from God

Unredeemed
The cruelest word
The coldest heart
The deepest wound
The endless dark
The lonely ache
The burning tears
The bitter nights
The wasted years

Life breaks and falls apart
But we know these are
Places where grace is soon to be so amazing
It may be unfulfilled
It may be unrestored
But when anything that's shattered is laid before the Lord
Just watch and see
It will not be unredeemed

For every choice that led to shame
And all the love that never came
For every vow that someone broke
And every life that gave up hope
We live in the shadow of the fall
But the cross says these are all
Places where grace is soon to be so amazing
It may be unfulfilled
It may be unrestored
But when anything that's shattered is laid before the Lord
Just watch and see
It will not be unredeemed

Places where grace is soon to be so amazing
It may be unfulfilled
It may be unrestored
But you never know the miracle the Father has in store
Just watch and see
It will not be
Just watch and see
It will not be unredeemed

In a Moment...

2011-03-23T21:47:00.014-05:00

I've been thinking about the story in John 9 lately...There's a man who has been blind his whole life. Jesus heals him. Immediately the Pharisees begin to interrogate him and his parents, asking them questions about Jesus, questioning whether His healing power really came from God,etc. He stands up for Jesus and then is cast out from them...Then the following happens:

Jesus heard that they had cast him out; and when he had found him, he said unto him, Dost thou believe on the Son of God? He answered and said, Who is he, Lord, that I might believe on him? And Jesus said unto him, Thou hast both seen him, and it is he that talketh with thee. And he said, Lord, I believe. And he worshipped him. ~John 9:35-38

In John 4, the longest conversation with Jesus recorded in the Bible occurs..with an outcast Samaritan lady who is living in sin. Jesus is sitting at the well. She's in the process of drawing water from it. She's there for the type of water that evaporates. He's there to share with her living, eternal water. As their conversation continues, eventually the following ensues:

The woman saith unto him, I know that Messias cometh, which is called Christ: when he is come, he will tell us all things. Jesus saith unto her,I that speak unto thee am he. And upon this came his disciples, and marvelled that he talked with the woman: yet no man said, What seekest thou? or, Why talkest thou with her? The woman then left her waterpot, and went her way into the city, and saith to the men,Come, see a man, which told me all things that ever I did: is not this the Christ? John 4:25-29

"Thou hast both seen him, and it is he that talketh with thee."

"I that speak unto thee am he."

What must it have been like to have been standing face to face with Jesus and heard him say these words?! In a moment their lives were completely changed. In just one single moment.

The formerly blind man worshiped. The ex-adulterer left the water pot she may have been taking back to "her man" and instead began to witness about the amazingness of God.

In a moment.

Just. One. Moment.

Anything can happen in a moment. Good or bad. The point is though..it only takes a moment. A moment to make a decision to choose God. A moment to make a decision to follow that calling. A moment to make things right with that family member or friend. A moment to give that item or money to the poor. A moment to open your mouth and tell someone about Jesus. Just one moment.

Life is full of moments. They all add up and we need to be sure to make them count. Eventually our moments will all be used up...

In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed. ~1 Corinthians 15:52

In preparation for THAT moment, let's be sure to use our moments wisely.

Blessings

2011-03-10T19:00:00.015-06:00

O taste and see that the LORD is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him. ~Psalm 34:8

Today I was sitting in my car, just watching passing traffic, waiting for an opportunity to pull out on the main road. As I was sitting I saw in a passing vehicle a father signing to his teenage daughter....when I saw this I felt a check in my spirit. I immediately thanked God for something many of us take for granted..the ability to simply hear voices..the ability to be able to enjoy beautiful music...the list could go on & on. It is easy to take things for granted, especially when everyone else seems to enjoy the same blessing. There is no blessing that everyone else enjoys, other than the opportunity to experience salvation. No matter what the case, someone somewhere is less privileged in some way than you.

Lately I have been trying to adjust to the fact that I will soon be saying goodbye for a long time to many of my favorite people. The goodbyes that are hardest for me to think about are the ones with my twin niece & nephew and my father. Goodbyes have never been all that hard for me; this time though is a bit harder...

This time I am going on a mission trip for longer than I have ever went on one before...and this time I have no intentions to come back and finish school, etc like I have done in the past...my intentions are simply to do whatever it takes to continue following God's will for my life and my home town is not where God has called me, but rather one of the places He has prepared me.

This time I have a niece & nephew who are two and who have completely stolen my heart. This time I have a father who is in his 70s and who had three silent strokes last year. This time is different.

While talking with God earlier this week about this and asking him how best to cope, I felt Him speak to me, "Thank me for the blessings." So, I began to think about what God meant. It didn't take long to realize exactly what he'd meant....

1) My niece & nephew are miracle babies..the babies we prayed for for 10 years...they are an answer to prayer. Beautiful. Healthy. Great personalities. I'm proud & thankful to be their "Aunt Rachel".

2)When I got the phone call while living in Tupelo, MS last year that my Dad had experienced a minor stroke, I could have arrived home and found him in a much worse condition...I had a grandma who was paralyzed on one side for over 10 years. That's the only way I ever knew her. I automatically thought of her when I received the voicemail from my sister-in-law. But God saw to heal my Dad from ninety percent of the damage that had been caused from the strokes within weeks of them occurring.

3) I've grown up with a father who has always been there for us and always shown love to my Mom & us.
4) My father is a very godly man whom I've never heard a negative word spoken about...a true example of Christ.
5) Him & my Mom have brought me up to know & love God as well and to always follow His will.

Sometimes it's important to stop and count our blessings...The specific blessing that God was talking about to me? The blessing of simply having an awesome niece & nephew and a loving, godly father to whom to even be able to say goodbye. It's easy to take for granted how blessed we really are.

So....as I was sitting in that car earlier today thinking about thanking God for things I take for granted, this song (see link at bottom) came on the radio.
Sometimes we take obviously good things for granted...but sometimes things we think are bad, are actually good...blessings in disguise. Some of these we may never realize until we get to heaven. As the old song goes, "We'll understand it better by and by."

Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has many; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some. ~Charles Dickens

I hope this song touches you as it did me. God bless!

Blessings

What if You're Wrong?

2011-03-04T17:34:00.006-06:00

I was thinking about the song "What if You're Wrong?" today, and then while listening to my mp3 player I heard a sermon Rev. David Bernard had preached recently. At one point in his message he made a reference to a quote by a theologeon who lived in the 1600s, Blaise Pascal. Rev. Bernard referred to a wager Pascal once proposed...

"If you think of your life as a wager, should you bet that there is a God or should you bet that there is not a God?...Now think about this. What's the worst that could happen if you bet that there's a God and He's really not there? What's the worst that could happen? The worst that could happen is that you could die and never know that you were wrong. That's it. So you live your life. Your dead and your gone. That's the worst that could happen. You don't lose anything. You'd die and that'd be it, no matter what. But what if there really is a God and you bet that there isn't? Whether you become an atheist or rather you theoretically believe in God but you live according to your own will without consulting God, in effect you're betting that God doesn't matter. What if you bet that there isn't a God...and there really is. What's the worst that could happen? Well,you lose eternal life and you have eternal damnation."

Pascal went on to say, "So, from a purely practical point of view, what's the smart thing to do?... BET ON GOD! If you bet on God and He's not there, you haven't lost anything. But if you don't bet on Him and He is there, you've lost everything...for now and for eternity.

In reference to Pascal's quote, Rev. Bernard said, "Act as if He is real and you will find that He is real!" Once you take that step to open up your heart to God He WILL reveal Himself to you. Whether or not you believe in Him or love Him, He loves you. And He's simply waiting for you to take that first step. Like a loving Father toward His child, His arms are outstretched. The choice is yours.

I encourage you to read the lyrics to this song and watch the video link at the top.

What if you're right?
And he was just another nice guy
What if you're right?
What if it's true?
They say the cross will only make a fool of you
And what if it's true?

What if he takes his place in history
With all the prophets and the kings
Who taught us love and came in peace
But then the story ends
What then?

But what if you're wrong?
What if there's more?
What if there's hope you never dreamed of hoping for?
What if you jump?
And just close your eyes?
What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise?
What if He's more than enough?
What if it's love?

What if you dig
Way down deeper than your simple-minded friends
What if you dig?
What if you find
A thousand more unanswered questions down inside
That's all you find?

What if you pick apart the logic
And begin to poke the holes
What if the crown of thorns is no more
Than folklore that must be told and retold?

But what if you're wrong?
What if there's more?
What if there's hope you never dreamed of hoping for?
What if you jump?
And just close your eyes?
What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise?
What if He's more than enough?
What if it's love?

You've been running as fast as you can
You've been looking for a place you can land for so long
But what if you're wrong?

What if you're wrong?
What if there's more?
What if there's hope you never dreamed of hoping for?
What if you jump?
And just close your eyes?
What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise?
What if He's more than enough?
What if it's love?

Hope

2011-02-11T22:37:00.014-06:00

This morning I woke up in quite a good mood....with the lyrics to this song in my head:

Precious Lord, take my hand
Lead me on, help me stand
I am tired
I am weak
I am worn
Through the storm,
Through the night
Lead me on to the light
Take my hand, precious lord
Lead me home

My first thought was "I'm feeling just fine right now..so why am I waking up with lyrics to a song about feeling tired,weak,and worn? This was definitely not the song of choice I wanted stuck in my head all day.

Then, as I was reading my Bible this same morning, I read the following verse:

If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable.~1 Cor.15:19

Paul, the writer of the above scripture, experienced ALOT of bad things in his life, much of which is recorded in 2 Corinthians 11:22-33. As shown in the verse above though, he realized that in the big picture of things it just didn't matter. He admitted that if he was just thinking about the present, the life he had experienced here on earth, and not the glorious eternity God has promised those who serve him, he would be most miserable. Not just miserable, but the most miserable of ALL men.....and after reading 2 Corinthians 11, who can blame him?!!! (On a side note, I have decided that from now on when I'm having a "bad day" I'm reading this chapter to keep things in perspective. :-)

The point:
It's ok to sometimes feel tired, weak, and worn. We are all human. We all sometimes wake up "on the wrong side of the bed" for what seems like absolutely no reason. The important thing is that our focus is right and that it never changes---

70 years vs. eternity....

Where and with whom have you placed your hope?

I remember many years ago as a Bible quizzer sitting on the bed in my grandma's house in the mountains of West Virginia late on Christmas Eve night memorizing verses for the soon starting season..... I remember this particular moment because I remember how quickened in my Spirit I felt as I memorized the verses below:

For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord. Wherefore comfort one another with these words. ~1 Thess. 4:16-18

It's like I felt God saying "Hope in this. Remember this. Focus on this...This is what it's all about. Don't forget it."

This morning when I was thinking about how Paul said he would be "of all men most miserable", I began to think about "When am I the most miserable?" I am the most miserable when I take the blinders off..when I choose judgement or justice toward others over mercy...when I begin to look at people or circumstances through the world's eyes, rather than through Gods. I am the most miserable when I take my eyes off Christ and the promise of eternity in Heaven and turn my focus towards anything that is not eternal.

Thankfully we do not have hope in Christ in this life only. We have an eternal hope!

Through the storm,
Through the night
Lead me on to the light
Take my hand, precious lord
Lead me home!

Never Never NEVER Give Up

2011-01-14T17:39:00.009-06:00

"Never, never, NEVER give up." ~ Winston Churchhill

The blog below (posted by another one of my close friends) tells the testimony of a dear friend of mine, a friend I just met this last summer, but that I now feel like I've known forever. One day this last July her and another friend and I went to a restaurant for lunch on a Sunday afternoon. I had heard she had an amazing testimony and asked her to please tell me it. Two hours later this girl I had just met that morning had me in tears right there in that restaurant as she shared her testimony with me. The tears came because God in a strong way began to speak to me to never give up on anyone. To ALWAYS keep reaching and to NEVER place judgement. Isn't that exactly what Jesus would do?

I hope this short version of her testimony ministers to you as it did to me.

Fancy~Shmancy: A letter from Angel: "In late September, I met a young lady with a big smile and lots of spunk. Her and her friend Linda were introduced to me and my friends thro..."

What If?

2011-01-11T18:08:00.017-06:00

My friend sent me this very long text a few weeks ago and it got me thinking...

"What if God had nothing to offer? No blessings, no promises, no protection? And what if we had no knowledge of a heaven to go to for eternity? What if we didn't get anything out of living for God, but a relationship with Him? What if we got nothing out of it but God Himself? Would we be as driven to live for Him? And what if we didn't need Him or have to have Him to fulfill our needy list of prayer requests? What if we accepted him as He is, whether we agree or disagree with His plans? What if He became our love and we focused on worshipping Him in every way and loving on Him with our prayers instead of using our prayers to control or change a situation the way "we think God wants it to be?" What if we lived for and focused on loving and pleasing God? What if all that mattered was Him instead of what He can offer-no heaven, no promises, no blessings, no protection, no favor because of your obedience and fastings- nothing but His love, His presence, Himself? No strings attached on either side."

My initial thought when I first read the text was, "Wow, that would stink!" Some parts of the text itself were self-conflicting. Any God of love would desire to bless, protect, make and keep promises to, and provide for His children. If this desire is not present, love is not present and as anyone who serves Jesus knows, God IS Love. The god mentioned in that text wouldn't have died on Calvary, yet Love in flesh DID die on Calvary for us and rose again.

However, going along with the text, I did ask myself, "What If?"...quickly the words to one of my favorite songs came to mind:
"I was made to worship you, live for you, open up my mouth and praise you, I was made just for you, to adore you, you and only you."

Yes, I thought, I WOULD worship Him, even if He was a distant god and I was a pawn, because He is my creator and that's what I am created to do. But boy do I love him so much more knowing that he is an intimate God who knows both the thoughts and intents of my heart and loves me with an ever lasting love.

Later, the text wasn't on my mind, but while praying God reminded me of it again and I felt Him say, "Billions of people do this everyday."

I got the point...And my heart sunk.

Their idols are silver and gold, the work of men's hands.They have mouths, but they speak not: eyes have they, but they see not: They have ears, but they hear not: noses have they, but they smell not:They have hands, but they handle not: feet have they, but they walk not: neither speak they through their throat.They that make them are like unto them; so is every one that trusteth in them. ~Psalm 115:5-8

I'm thankful I serve a LIVING God who is also a LOVING God. So many people know OF Him, but have yet to really KNOW Him. And there are still so many people who have yet to even hear the name Jesus.

I pray we never take our knowledge of the one true God forgranted.

Watching God Work

2011-01-03T14:44:00.010-06:00

“When God is looking for someone to use He looks to the prison, not to the palace.” ~Rev. Jeff Sanders

Has God ever spoken something to you and you wish that He hadn’t? I don’t mean something chastising, but a word of direction regarding your future or a promise, yet you found yourself wishing that He had just kept you out of the loop?

I am, as some rednecks would say, a “get ‘er done” type person. I consider myself more a follower than a leader, but if I look around and no one is leading, I’ll usually take the reins and do what has to be done. So, if I’m at point A and you tell me I’m eventually going to be at point C, I intend on doing what it takes to get there…because that’s where I’m supposed to be going, right? Why waste time? Why take the 10 mile trail when there’s a 5 mile short cut?

So, when I, apparently at the right time, listened to a cd of a message Bro. Royce Wilson had spoken at BOTT 2009, a minister’s conference hosted every year by a church in Alexandria, I was reminded that, when God’s timing is right, He will begin to speak, but not before then.

You see, before listening to this message, I was getting pretty upset, and was letting God know about it. I was asking Him things like, “Why tell me something if there’s nothing I can do about it?” (Remember, my “take the reins” personality description up above?”) I felt God gently tell me, “Because you asked.”

“Ok…He did get me there.” I did ask. Every major decision I make I pray and fast about. And I had been doing a whole lot of that at this pivotal time in my life. So yes, He had answered and He had answered in more detail than I would ever have expected.

Yet, I still found myself wondering, why, knowing how I am, would you choose to show me this, a Point C with a road block? Then I felt God reply, “So you would have to trust me, and know it was me and me alone who got you there.”

Sometimes, if most people are in a lazy mood, they don’t have much of a problem sitting by letting someone do something on their own…but most people also, that have a high level of respect for someone, if they see them working on a project, etc, that they feel they could lend a hand to help with, are usually going to help, or feel guilty not doing so. And this is all well and good. But we have to be careful not to take this approach with God, remembering that His ways are above our ways and His thoughts are above our thoughts. Usually his plan is so complex and so much better than what we would imagine that we would merely be in the way if we attempted to “help”.

Yes, faith without works is dead, but sometimes our “works” simply has to be to pray and continue to do what’s right.

Bro. Wilson’s message was about being a “stranger in the land of fulfillment”.
He talked about how when God gives you a promise, you are not crazy; it will come to pass. His references were to the story of Joseph. He also said you are not wrong to share that “dream”/ promise with people. It is true that they may take it the wrong way, but you are not wrong to share it. He goes on to talk about the different stages of fulfillment…One being the prison. This is where the words from Rev. Sanders stood out to me.. “When God is looking for someone to use He looks to the prison, not to the palace.” God doesn’t usually pull someone straight from the palace to do his work. There are things He wants you to learn so you are ready when He places you where He wants you. Sometimes you may have to go through many trials to reach this point. Perhaps the greater the call the greater the trials? Yes, this is a scary concept, but the more and more I read the bios of people of God who have been used mightily, the more this seems to be the case. Obviously it is not because God doesn’t care, it because He has faith you will endure, come out as gold, and will be able to be used at a level you never would have been prepared to have been used had you just experienced the palace, and not the prison also.

So, are you willing to watch God work? To trust Him with a hands off approach in whatever trial you may be facing?

You might be wondering, how can anything good happen or change if I’m just standing still? Sometimes you don’t have to understand something. You just have to believe God’s word & trust Him.

And Moses said unto the people, Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the LORD, which he will shew to you to day: for the Egyptians whom ye have seen to day, ye shall see them again no more for ever. ~Exodus 14:13

Ye shall not need to fight in this battle: set yourselves, stand ye still, and see the salvation of the LORD with you, O Judah and Jerusalem: fear not, nor be dismayed; to morrow go out against them: for the LORD will be with you. ~II Corinthians 20:17

Hearken unto this, O Job: stand still, and consider the wondrous works of God. ~Job 37:14

Relax, Stand Still, & Watch. God is in control!

The earth is the LORD's, and the fulness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein. ~Psalm 24:1

A King's Kid

2010-12-31T16:36:00.006-06:00

But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judaea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth. ~Acts 1:8

Whereof I am made a minister, according to the dispensation of God which is given to me for you, to fulfil the word of God;Even the mystery which hath been hid from ages and from generations, but now is made manifest to his saints:To whom God would make known what is the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles; which is Christ in you, the hope of glory: Whom we preach, warning every man, and teaching every man in all wisdom; that we may present every man perfect in Christ Jesus: Whereunto I also labour, striving according to his working, which worketh in me mightily. ~Colossians 1:25-29

I just heard these lyrics for the first time today(Thanks to Pandora.com :-) & wanted to share. I thought they were beautiful and went right along with the theme from the message Bro. Graham spoke at HYC last night.

There is a King in You
By: Donald Lawrence & Co.

There is a King in You
You come from Royalty,
An aristocratic dynasty.
The goal of the enemy,
Is that you don't know who you are.
There's power when you speak.
Be mindful of words you release.
I know that life has challenged you,
But the King in me speaks to the King in you.
You were born to rule.
There is a king in you.

Is there no King in you,
Then why do you speak, speak with such defeat.
Is there no King in you,
Then why do you speak, speak with such low esteem.

I know life has challenged you,
But the King in me speaks to the king in you.
You were born to rule.
There is a King in you.

It is my desire to serve God with the confidence of the song above, but with the attitude of the song below. If you have obeyed Acts 2:38 and are living a Godly life, you have the God who created the universe and who died on Calvary for you living inside you. You're a king's kid. Wear the crown proudly!

It's Not the I, but the You in Me

Death to Self

2010-11-28T15:15:00.013-06:00

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
~2 Timothy 1:7

He has told you, O man, what is good;and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness,and to walk humbly with your God? ~Micah 6:8

There are times when you hear a certain sermon or read a certain passage in a book and know instantly that you have been forever changed by those words. This week I read one such passage and would like to share it with you. It is from the book "Passing the Mantle" by Sis. Joy Haney. In this book both her and various other ministers share both their life experiences and advice for the next generation. I strongly encourage you to read it if you get the chance.

This particular passage I would like to share was written by Sis. Bobbye Wendell, a former missionary to Ethiopia. Upon her family arriving in Ethiopia, the first open door God set before them was that of one to minister to lepers. As a matter of fact, there were over 500,000 lepers in that country at the time (in the'70s). They ended up purchasing and repairing a building near where these lepers were living and began to use the building for teaching them various skills and also as a church building. Up until the point at which Sis. Bobbye Wendell wrote this account from her life, they had seen no true harvest yet from their labor. She had a burden for these people, but also lived in fear of this disease. One day, when her husband brought home a lady with leprosy to be there new house keeper, which meant her working around their children, she told him he had to take her away...The following is what ensued from this conversation and how God dealt with her in a life changing way:

"He said he could not; she had no place to go and would be hurt again. She had been beaten terribly by other beggers. I told him very emphatically that she had to go. He sadly looked at me and said, "You may take her...here are the keys...but will you do something for us?" I asked what it was he wanted. He asked if I would go by Calvary on the way taking her back.

I was numbed. Didn't he know that I had been to Calvary? I had been there before, but it had been to take a soul to Calvary not to lead one away. I started to cry. I took the keys and grabbed my prayer shawl. It was a nice little pink and green shawl made by someone in the Alexandria, Louisiana church as a gift for me on the mission field. I cannot remember the dear one who gave it to me. I used it every service in the chapel church. There were reasons I used it.

I flew out of the house but did not take the lady with me. It was time for something to happen for me. Today would be the day.

The drive to the workshop and chapel was not very far; it consisted of a road, winding down the mountains side and through the village market. The narrow road was crowded with people who seemed to have nothing to do. Every time we drove down without incident was either a tribute to our driving skills or a miracle. This day was no exception, and I arrived safely at the workshop.

It was Saturday. We did not have a Saturday service at this time. Only the guard, Wolde Gabriel, was there. He opened the gate to the property, and I drove in. Wolde had very little of his nose left on his face. His eyes looked sad and a bit wary. He would wonder what I was doing there today. I drove past him to the front door of the building. I exited the car and went into the building. It was the same as the day before, nothing changed. The sameness was the smell.

When you have over one hundred people with various degrees of infection eating away at them...hands, feet, faces, and bodies...there is a cloying, clinging odor that permeates the area. This smell never went away. Soap, disinfectant, and cleaners just added to the strength and tenacity of the smell. A smell of dying flesh, people whose desperate claim to life was: "God made me this way to test the rich man. If he gives me a coin he escapes hell and I will have bread for the day." Do you blame them? They were told they had no soul, they could never inherit heaven, and they were never allowed into the vast compounds of the existing State church.....

I went deeper into the building. The guard, Wolde, remained at the door. His hands, or what remained of them, were held behind his back. They were covered in ulcers. I never touched them. Today was no different. I took my prayer shawl and spread in on the floor. I would kneel on it, pray, and when I went home I would throw it in the washer before using it again. I hoped it would last the length of our first term.

I started to kneel and quite firmly announced to the Lord that I had come to be "broken". With that announcement I went to my knees and started to pray. You do know that heavy smells actually can be tasted and the smell was terrible that day.

I prayed and nothing happened. After a while, as I attempted to get through, the Lord spoke to me and said," If you really wish to have your request (to be broken), then remove the prayer shawl." The thought of my flesh actually touching the floor was overwhelming. Some of the lepers walked barefoot daily over the floors, the smell of their infections entering the plank flooring. I could not do it. I would pray on. The voice came again, "Move the shawl." Finally, I moved the shawl. But the Lord was not finished with me yet.

As I knelt wondering if there was anything worthwhile in me, this fearful person, the Lord spoke again, "Get down." I stooped a bit; the Lord spoke and said again, "Go down" and I stooped lower. Finally, after the third time I tearfully asked the Lord, "I'm down...how much further?" He said,"Until there is no further down." I went down, stretched out on my face and frontal body.

I literally lay before the Lord with weeping. I would feel to turn my face and I would understand that I was to stay as I was. Something was happening. After time, later to judged about three hours, something like a dam broke inside me. Fear of disease and strangeness and filth poured from me. From the lower regions of my body to the flowing out of sounds and words from my mouth, the Lord delivered me. I would never be the same again. There would be a harvest. There would be a church and a people....There would be fulfilment of Psalm 68
:31, my call to Ethiopia. 'Princes shall come out of Egypt; Ethiopia shall soon stretch out her hands unto God.'

I arose, as a new person, and went out of the building. The guard simply looked at me. I said, 'Wolde, give me your hands.' He held them behind his back. I asked him again, and finally he extended them. I took his hands in mine and said to him, 'You will never have to hide your hands from me again' And he never did.

The foundating of the enemy's resistance was broken that day, and soon we would baptize our first Ethiopians in Jesus' name. In those beginning days of harvest, there were twenty-seven leper people who were baptized in Jesus' name and several received the Holy Ghost. Many other acts of God's mercy were done, and doors began to open to fulfill Psalm 68:31."

Making a List, Checking It Twice

2010-11-16T21:40:00.022-06:00

As most people know, the title to this blog is a reference to the line in a Christmas song about Santa Claus deciding who's good and who's bad...That's not at all what this blogs about...just wanted to get your attention, and with Christmas right around the corner thought that might be the best way. ;-)

Nope, it's about another list...a list in the Bible.

A list that contains nine characteristics every Holy Ghost filled person should exercise at all times:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. ~Galatians 5:22-23

The Amplified Bible defines the fruit of the Spirit as "the work which His Presence within accomplishes"

I like that! But, what exactly do each one of those fruits mean?

Love- unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another

Joy- a state of happiness

Peace- freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions

Longsuffering- patiently enduring lasting offense or hardship

Gentleness- the quality or state of being gentle; especially:mildness of manners or disposition

Goodness-the quality or state of being good

Faith- belief and trust in and loyalty to God

Meekness- enduring injury with patience and without resentment
not violent or strong

Temperance- moderation in action, thought, or feeling

(Merriam-Webster's Dictionary)

So, why have I nicknamed this "The List?" Because, it's MY list. Each time I kneel down to pray, before getting back up, I take out this mental check list, and one by one go through each one. First, I assess how I am doing in each area. If necessary, I pause and focus on one if I am feeling weak at all in that area and pray about it until I feel God revive and strengthen me in it. Then, when I am done, I thank God for them because, while they may not be called "gifts", in my eyes they certainly are!

You might be wondering why I do this or why am I bothering to share it...

Well, the first reason is I think it's a good way to measure the temperature of that fire described in Jeremiah 20:9. Is yours burning like crazy, barely there, or has it been smoldered..with just a subtle sign of Jesus being in your life?

Also, these fruits are the visible representation of Christ in us. When they are active in our lives, it will be very obvious to those around us, both believers and non believers. It's not in the good times that a Christian's fruit shines the brightest, but in the difficult times. If in those times the fruit remains steady and strong and consistent within you, those are the times that that coworker, that family member, that classmate, that friend, that random acquaintance will see Christ in you and will desire to know more about Him.

I encourage you to review this list daily. Never leave it at home. You must take it with you every where you go!

The Battlefield

2010-11-08T21:33:00.017-06:00

The Shortest Distance between a Problem and it’s Solution is the Distance between your Knees and the Floor.

I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go. ~Abraham Lincoln

Recently I was talking with a friend, doing my best to console her. As I kept my arm wrapped around her while she continued to weep and pour her heart out, my heart too was breaking. Life in shambles. Problem that seems hopeless. As her friend I wanted so badly to have the perfect solution...just that perfect amount of super glue to fix the problem right up. But I didn't. No one does. No one that is but God.

As I sat their hopelessly, watching my friend in such extreme emotional pain, hating herself and life in general, all I could say was "God can fix this" and "I'm going to be praying." Why, when I know how much meaning those words hold, does it still sometimes seem so frivolous when I say them? It almost felt like mockery for those words to be all I had to offer in light of the situation.

But, then I thought of the power behind those words when put in action. I thought of all the marriages I have seen healed. All the people I have seen delivered from cancer. All the bad situations I have seen God turn around and completely restore....then I was reminded of the true power of prayer. And how my prayers ARE the best thing I can ever offer someone.

Prayer is a battlefield. Prayer is where the battle is won or lost. If you don't fight, you don't win. It's that simple. The best part is we do very little; it's God who actually does the fighting. We are simply to call on Him, stand still, and trust Him.

"And Moses said unto the people, Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the LORD, which he will shew to you to day: for the Egyptians whom ye have seen to day, ye shall see them again no more for ever.The LORD shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace." ~Exodus 14:13-14

I go to war on my knees,
It's not flesh and blood I battle,
but principalities.
I'm fighting for my loved ones,
and my family.
So, with my face before God,
I go to war on my knees.

Take 2

2010-10-30T11:08:00.024-05:00

Never consider any one unworthy. Because you might wake up one day to realize that you have lost a diamond while you were too busy collecting stones...~Anonymous

Recently a coworker and I were made aware of a bakery located in the downtown part of the city where I live...a Bavarian bakery, with a German baker who learned how to bake while still living in her home country. From the second we heard of it we were super excited. I've spent three summers in Europe and have rarely been disappointed in any type of sweet I've had while living there. My coworker had lived on a military base in Germany and claimed Bavarian pastries are among the best in the world. Needless to say, we were both super stoked about checking it out.

So, yesterday morning, I talked my mom into going there with me. Needless to say, one coffee and pastry later, Mom was not all that impressed and already in the mindset that she wouldn't bother going back. While driving home, with a different pastry for my dad, I was thinking about whether or not I had liked it and decided that I'd probably give it just one more chance.

Upon arriving home I gave my dad his pastry and broke out a fork myself to taste it. Needless to say, I am now very much looking forward to returning there...what we bought Dad was one of the best pastries I've had in my whole life! When my mom got home I made her taste it and stood there just to watch her reaction. She absolutely loved it too..I am quite sure now that we will both be going back. :-)

"Take 2": a term often used by producers while filming a production, when the first attempt did not go well and needs to be redone. (Per "Pilgrim's" Dictionary ;-))

I think it's important in life for us to remember sometimes to "take 2". We need to step back and realize that our first impression of a person, be it from personal experience or through the gossip chain (which should be null & void anyway)may be inaccurate, just as easily as our judgements of random restaurants, etc may be too conclusive and perhaps really limited to that particular night in which they were low staffed or had a new cook, or maybe you just ate the wrong thing.

Some judgements may be correct at the time, but remember, people can change. Other judgements can be false from the get go. Just as how in my last blog I talked about how both myself and another person could have been deprived of an awesome friendship, though that time not due to an actual "judgement", so also we can unknowingly be depriving our ownselves of getting to know someone who could potentially become our new best friend!

Always carry with you a little reasonable doubt, should you meet someone who needs to be found innocent. ~Robert Braul

How rare and wonderful is that flash in the moment when we realize we have discovered a friend. ~William Rotsler

I encourage you.... "Take 2"!

Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of his brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the law, and judgeth the law: but if thou judge the law, thou art not a doer of the law, but a judge.There is one lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy: who art thou that judgest another? ~James 4:11-12

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. ~Ephesians 4:29

And shall make him of quick understanding in the fear of the LORD: and he shall not judge after the sight of his eyes, neither reprove after the hearing of his ears: ~Isaiah 11:3

For all the law is fulfilled in one word, [even] in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. ~Galatians 5:14

Let everything you do be done in love (true love to God and man as inspired by God's love for us). ~1 Corinthians 5:14 (Amplified Bible)

It's Not a Problem; It's an Opportunity.

2010-10-26T22:15:00.023-05:00

Today, while thinking about some of my closest friends, I started trying to remember how I met each of them. Most I don't even remember when exactly I met them. But a few I remember very well, because our friendships began under negative circumstances.

One of my closest friends I met while we were attending IBC together. I didn't know her at all when she asked me, while sitting in a student lounge across from me, "Do you want a new roommate?!" She was in an extremely bad roommate situation. Her and her roommate pretty much couldn't stand each other. I, on the other hand, got along fine with mine, but was wanting to find a better situation, yet not hurt my roomie's feelings. I hadn't told anyone I was feeling this way. I told the girl, "I don't know" and that I'd get back with her. Long story short, I found out through the grapevine that my roommate and her new best friend were wanting to be roomies, so, not even knowing the girl's name,while sitting across from her in the lobby again, I asked her if she still wanted a new roommate...a year and a half later we'd been roommates a year, never fought, discovered we were oddly a like in tons of ways, and still to this day we remain great friends. Her situation was very bad, and mine not so great...but a lifelong friendship came to be because of it.

Another one of my closest friends I met because I was invited by a friend of hers to stay at her house with a group of other people I didn't really know, in a town where our Bible school choral,which I was in, would be singing. I was told she was cool with me joining and so I decided to do it, though I felt a little awkward about it, considering I wasn't even sure who she was, since there were like 5 girls with the same name at our school. Well, it so happened that almost everyone ended up taking different vehicles, due to varying schedules, to drive the 3 hour drive to the city we were singing in. Somehow the girl and I ended up being the only ones who could leave at the planned time. So...we loaded up our stuff and ever since that road trip, that began with me feeling like jumping ship, we have remained great friends.

Another time, while a new freshman in Bible college, a girl who I didn't know from Adam (or rather Eve :-) said a snappy statement in response to my reply to a question an upperclassmen had asked me. I was embarrassed and hurt. Mainly hurt. I didn't understand why the girl didn't like me, when she didn't even know me.

I prayed long and hard about this, telling God I wanted to get along with everyone, and asking him to please heal the situation. Within a week the girl stopped me in the staircase and apologized. She told me she had been jealous of me and that she had liked the person she knew I liked for a while and that she was very sorry for what she did. (The upperclassman had asked who I liked. I had told him I didn't want to say. Her snappy response was "It's not like everybody doesn't know!"..Well, I hadn't known everybody, especially people I didn't know, knew, and I definitely didn't know why she was being rude about it.)

This girl was a quiet somewhat reserved person that few people got to know well during the two years I was there, but I was blessed to get to know her very well...even getting invited into her room to pet her pet bunny that no one knew about (they weren't supposed to be allowed on campus.:-) In the end she even told me that she hoped me and that person would end up together. That didn't happen. (Obviously:-P) But I think that shows just how God turned a bad situation around and made it something great!

More recently I have been blessed to develop friendships with some fabulous people whom I would never have even met probably had it not been for what turned out to be an unfavorable situation that I've had to go through. I know these new friendships are going to be long lasting and have a great effect on my life. And I know, in the end, that I will look back and say, "You know what...ever bit of it was worth it."

Today I overheard my coworker respond to another coworker regarding a "problem" they were working on, "Don't say "problem"; say "opportunity!"

Sometimes in life that's exactly how we have to look at things. Sometimes we have to think, "Wow, this is really messed up, but I bet God can do something really special with it!" If God can give beauty for ashes I believe He can take any situation and cause beauty to come forth from it! Remember we are, after all, talking about the Creater who made man from dust.

Let's not also forget the most obvious opportunities always available: the opportunity to grow and the opportunity to learn.

Problem: source of perplexity, distress, or vexation

Opportunity: a favorable juncture of circumstances, a good chance for advancement or progress (Merriam-Webster Dictionary)

Born & Ready to Serve

2010-10-25T20:52:00.032-05:00

For David, after he had served his own generation by the will of God, fell on sleep, and was laid unto his fathers... ~Acts 13:36

How did David spend his life?
He SERVED his own generation BY THE WILL OF GOD.

David, the man about whom many books have been written and about whom more sermons have probably been preached than any other person in the Bible, short of Jesus Christ Himself.

David, the man who, according to 1 Samuel 13:13, was considered a man after God's own heart and who, because of this, was personally sought by God and commanded to lead Israel....spent his life dedicated to doing God's will in serving his generation. The generation he was born to serve.

Apparently David had something very right, which means there's a lot we can learn from his example.

1)He was a servant.

No, this does not contradict his being a king. He was simply the best kind of leader that there is, one with a servant's heart.

2)David sought God's will and then followed it.

No, David wasn't perfect. But he was sincere. And he always knew to turn to God, to listen to Him, and to obey Him.

God knew David's heart when he first called him to lead and that is exactly why He chose him.

He chose him because He saw in him a taste of what He himself would be like when He would come as Jesus, God in flesh, the ultimate example,showing us how to truly love one another and delivering all mankind.

So...What do you think God has in store for OUR generation?!

If we choose to have a servant's heart and listen to and obey His voice, I believe we'll be humbly amazed what He will choose to do through us. I believe it will blow our minds what we are about to see God do!

I'm SO ready! Are you?!

Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I go unto my Father. And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it. ~John 14:12-14

....for I am going to do something in your days that you would never believe,even if someone told you. Acts 13:41

Scrambled with Cheese Please!

2010-10-05T19:08:00.024-05:00

A double minded man is unstable in all his ways. ~James 1:8

Not long ago I watched the movie "Runaway Bride" for the umpteenth time. I've always thought it was a cute movie and besides that I just really like Julia Roberts and Richard Gere together. This last time I watched it though, there was a part that stood out to me in a major way...so much that a few weeks later, I'm still thinking about it.

For those who haven't seen the movie, it's basically about a small town girl (Julia Roberts) who has a fear of commitment and has been engaged 4 (I think) times and is now once again engaged. A big city reporter (Richard Gere), hears about this lady and travels to the small town to do research on her, as well as, he hopes, witness her run again.

As the movie goes on, he interviews each of her exes and one question he asks each of them is how she likes her eggs for breakfast. Each one responds with a certain type (each different), and then says, "same as me". Through this the reporter ends up realizing that the reason she keeps running is because she feels none of these guys really know her for who she is, but rather for who she has molded herself to be...whoever it is that they want her to be.

Later in the movie,it shows her with eggs in every way you can fix them laying out on a table and she is taste testing each of them. A short time later the following conversation occurs between her and the reporter:

Maggie Carpenter (Julia): Benedict.
Ike Graham (Richard): Arnold.
Maggie Carpenter (Julia): I love Eggs Benedict, I hate every other kind. I hate big weddings with everybody staring. I'd like to get married on a weekday while everybody's at work. And when I ride off into the sunset, I want my own horse.

Ok, so I know it's a stretch to connect something out of Hollywood to something spiritual or wholesome....but I'm going to attempt to go there. Grant it, I'm preaching to the choir when I say this, but it is SO important to know yourself. Your likes. Your dislikes. Your personal convictions. Where you are in God and where you're wanting to go in Him.

It's so important to know these things, and not compromise them for anyone. Ever. For any reason. Grant it, people's likes and dislikes are often going to vary and that's perfectly normal and acceptable. But don't give up something you care deeply about or ever try to make someone else do so, unless it's in a positive peer pressure kind of way,in which it would be for their own betterment.

I know the obvious relationship type it may seem that I'm talking about is in dating/ marriage relationships, but this can also apply to friendships, parent/ child relationships, etc.

Proverbs 4:23 says:

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

Luckily God has a way of meeting us in the middle when we put forth effort to do what's right...

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 4:7

Know yourself. Know who you are in Christ. And hold on to and guard that with all your might.

God Prevails, So Stay in Step!

2010-09-26T17:24:00.014-05:00

This particular blog is simply a posting of two things I read recently that spoke volumes to me. I hope they speak to you in the same way they spoke to me. God bless!

Excerpt from the novel "Unspoken", by Francine Rivers:
(There is a part in it where King David is mourning the fact that he has been double crossed by Absalom and others close to him. While trying to decide the wisest decision he can make in this situation, he begins reminiscing about his life):

"Oh, God, I never asked to be king!"
He would have been happier as a shepherd, singing psalms and looking at the stars in the heavens. He would have been happier as a poor man with only one wife.

Men plan, but God prevails.

With a sigh, David stood. "I will trust in you, Oh, Lord. I will trust in you. Do with me as you will."

Excerpt from a devotional posted on EA by James Thornton:

....In order to walk with someone there are two basic rules to follow when you walk or you cannot walk together. One is that each must walk at the same pace. The other, each must walk in the same direction. The same two rules apply when walking with God.

To walk with God Enoch had to walk at the same pace; this meant a moment by moment obedience to God’s Word. Disobedience, neglect, or ignorance of God’s Word would cause him to get out of step. And he had to walk in the same direction God was walking, which would mean a moment by moment surrender to God’s will.

Enoch couldn’t go off in a direction of his own. He had to stop insisting on his own way, or he would find himself off in a direction of his own. Enoch must have discovered that God doesn’t adjust His pace for anyone.

Enoch had to adjust his pace and direction to God’s if he wanted to walk with Him. Surely Enoch, with all his family duties, must have been stressed-out at times but he still took time to walk with God.

Think of the blessing those walks were to God. Since Adam and Eve had been banished from the Garden of Eden, God had longed for a human companion to share walks with. In Enoch, God found that one. Enoch loved walking and talking with God and the walks got longer and longer until one day he walked all the way home with God.

What A Walk!

Ode to "The Unknown Citizen"

2010-09-18T23:58:00.005-05:00

Tonight I randomly had a mood hit me to read some poetry. I've always enjoyed reading it and also a loooong time ago used to write it some (Thinking of getting back to this...we shall see).

Below is one of my favorite poems, one that I studied in depth and wrote an analysis paper on in a Lit class in college. I believe it speaks volumes. It is soooo important to be a good person, to do what's right, to be a great citizen, etc... BUT, we must not stop there.

Be the BEST you that you can be. You're not on this planet to blend in with the crowd. God made each of us with special giftings and abilities we need to do whatever it is God has specifically placed each of us here to do. Life should be an adventure, not a daily rerun!

The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more ABUNDANTLY. ~John 10:10

The Unknown Citizen
by W. H. Auden

(To JS/07 M 378
This Marble Monument
Is Erected by the State)

He was found by the Bureau of Statistics to be
One against whom there was no official complaint,
And all the reports on his conduct agree
That, in the modern sense of an old-fashioned word, he was a
saint,
For in everything he did he served the Greater Community.
Except for the War till the day he retired
He worked in a factory and never got fired,
But satisfied his employers, Fudge Motors Inc.
Yet he wasn't a scab or odd in his views,
For his Union reports that he paid his dues,
(Our report on his Union shows it was sound)
And our Social Psychology workers found
That he was popular with his mates and liked a drink.
The Press are convinced that he bought a paper every day
And that his reactions to advertisements were normal in every way.
Policies taken out in his name prove that he was fully insured,
And his Health-card shows he was once in hospital but left it cured.
Both Producers Research and High-Grade Living declare
He was fully sensible to the advantages of the Instalment Plan
And had everything necessary to the Modern Man,
A phonograph, a radio, a car and a frigidaire.
Our researchers into Public Opinion are content
That he held the proper opinions for the time of year;
When there was peace, he was for peace: when there was war, he went.
He was married and added five children to the population,
Which our Eugenist says was the right number for a parent of his
generation.
And our teachers report that he never interfered with their
education.
Was he free? Was he happy? The question is absurd:
Had anything been wrong, we should certainly have heard.

A few quotes I thought went well with this...

The death of someone we know always reminds us that we are still alive - perhaps for some purpose which we ought to re-examine. ~Mignon McLaughlin

Life is short, God's way of encouraging a bit of focus. ~Robert Brault

Let us endeavor to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. ~Mark Twain

When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life in such a manner that when you die the world cries and you rejoice. ~Indian Saying

Every man dies. Not every man really lives. ~Braveheart

And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. ~Abraham Lincoln

And, in conclusion, one of my favorite passages of scripture :-):

So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? ~1 Cor. 15:54-55

Faith Needs No Back Up Plan

2010-08-27T12:29:00.012-05:00

This morning in prayer I was talking to God about some of the specific promises He has given me. Recently I had been struggling with the "walking by faith, not by sight" aspect of believing and standing on God's promises, so, in prayer, I was asking God to strengthen my faith.

At this time, God brought to my attention a blessing that had came to one of my family members just recently. This family member needed a job very badly, wanted a certain one, had applied for said type of position, and was counting on God to answer her prayer for this job. This job was within the school system, was the one thing in the system she was very qualified to do, and it had the exact schedule she desired. She didn't apply anywhere else...and waited..and prayed...and waited.

In all honesty, this frustrated me. I've always been a "have a back up plan" type of person, and, especially in this kind of situation, felt she should have been putting in applications anywhere she could...and I felt very tempted to say so. However, from some personal experiences of realizing that some of the most sincere people trying to look out for your own good can be the worst faith busters, I withstood saying anything...and just prayed right along with her.

Well...God brought just the right close connection into my family's life just in time for the school year to start. This person was in a position in which he had the authority to hire someone for the type of job my family member desired and she is now working for a different school association than she had even originally applied, her work location is just 1 minute from where she lives, and she has an even better schedule than she originally was hoping for.

God had made his point to me loud and clear that faith needs no back up plan. I have learned that one's closest friends and family members can unknowingly play the devil's advocate. Questions like "what if that doesn't happen?", "what if you don't get that job?", etc. are spoken out of honest concern, not wanting to see the friend or family member stuck staring at a brick wall when all is said and done....

But, one must also understand that FAITH MEANS NO PLAN B. That's right. when God speaks something, no back up plan is needed, only faith. As a matter of fact, I believe, when God has truly spoken, that a back up plan is the enemy to faith.

So what about the cases where someone has a back up plan and ends up needing to use it? They didn't end up needing to use it because God "missed that one" or "changed His mind", but rather because their faith waned. The simple fact that they had a back up plan in the first place is evidence of their faith waning.

If God has given you a promise, stand on that promise. Believe Him for that promise. Trust in His Word. Do not fall prey to making a Plan B. I believe "back up plans" insult God's integrity. Ponder what He has spoken, but do not question it, for God's promises are yea and amen. (1 Cor. 1:20)

Good News

2010-08-18T12:25:00.004-05:00

These days it seems like everytime I see or read the news it's nothing but bad news...BUT, today I read something that made me smile. Something that I have felt should have happened a long time ago...the article it came from focused on the negative (as news usually does) of those who haven't taken this pledge yet...but I'm choosing to focus on the positive and only post that part. This is from a Yahoo Finance article online:

The Giving Pledge is the brainchild of billionaire businessmen Bill Gates and Warren Buffett. The two of them have teamed up to ask the world's wealthiest people to donate at least 50% of their fortunes to charities. They believe that the richest people in the world can eradicate many of the world's problems through philanthropy. The pledge is not a binding contract but more of a "moral commitment". Individuals are free to donate money to whatever cause they would like. So, far about 40 billionaires have accepted the giving pledge challenge.

The Giving Pledge

Jesus Loves You...This I Know

2010-08-06T18:36:00.013-05:00

And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death. ~Revelation 12:11

Over the last month I have had the opportunity to have two wonderful ladies share their testimonies with me.

One had received the Holy Ghost at a young age, but her one parent who served God backslid, so she didn't grow up attending church. Later, in her early adult years, trying to escape extreme heartbreak from a broken dating relationship, she ended up flinging herself into a world of drugs and prostitution, and remained there for many years. While sitting on an airplane, headed back to her home town, by order of a judge, she spoke to God for the first time in a very long time, telling Him she liked her life the way it was, but that she knew He didn't, and if He would take this desire away from her, she would serve him again. At that moment she felt a warm sensation inside...as God took that desire away from her for good.

The other lady who shared her story with me shared the testimony of her father. He had been a man called to the missions field, who decided to run from the call. Eventually he began drinking, and a downward spiral began. He would later end up sexually abusing his daughters. Years later that man sat on the back row of a church building...making his way to the altar spouting words of how unworthy he was of God's mercy. That man not only became reconciled with God, but for more than 30 years he served God faithfully. He was the one, when you would visit his church, that would be shouting and praising God every service. No doubt few people understood, when he worshipped like he did, why he worshipped like he did. Little did they realize how much God had done for him.

While I think his testimony is an awesome example of God's mercy, to me a testimony just as great is her ability to be able and desire to share it with such joy. And, the fact that she told me the story because she was sharing her burden for prison ministry...for reaching out to the murderer, to the child abuser, to all those people whom everyone else thinks is hopeless, or undeserving of hope. To me the greatest testimony is the gift of forgiveness God put in this woman's heart.

I shared both of these just to say God loves you. He loves YOU. Now, if you're not living right, He doesn't love your sin; He hates it, and sin will have no place in Heaven. But he loves YOU very much. Very VERY much. He knows you better than anyone else and loves you more than anyone else. He desires to see you living a life filled with peace in Him. He desires for you to spend eternity with Him in Heaven. Jesus Loves You...This I Know. Will you choose to love Him too?

And, if you've already made this choice, are you loving others like He would & are you sharing your testimony like you should?

Before You Were, God Had a Plan.

2010-07-31T21:57:00.016-05:00

Then the word of the LORD came unto me, saying,Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations. ~Jeremiah 1:4-5

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.~Psalm 139:13-16 (NIV)

And now, saith the LORD that formed me from the womb to be his servant, to bring Jacob again to him, Though Israel be not gathered, yet shall I be glorious in the eyes of the LORD, and my God shall be my strength. ~Isaiah 49:5

One of the kids here at The Mansion had the privilege of going to Chili this summer on an Apostolic Youth Corp trip. Every year the General Youth Division sponsors a child from here to go; this year she was the lucky one. I've been in charge of watching her dorm a lot lately, which has provided ample opportunity for her to ask the many questions she has had for me regarding her desire for future involvement in missions. I've came to the conclusion that if this were the only reason God brought me to TCM, to speak encouragement, advice, and direction into this young lady's life, that in itself would have made it all worthwhile.

Today, while looking through her pictures from the trip, my mind took a trip down memory lane...I received my calling to the mission field at the age of 16, and God dealt with me specifically about Europe when I was 21, but my first mission trip, when I was 17, was when I decided that every decision I made there after needed to be in alignment with and in preparation for what God was calling me to do. It wasn't a trip to Europe, but to Trinidad, a country not too extremely different culturally nor geographically from the one this girl I've been mentoring went on, but very different from the place God would later deal with me about.

In this blog, I usually try to steer clear of sharing things God has spoken to me specifically, but, I believe what I am about to share may be important for someone to hear, therefore, I am going to be a bit more transparent than I am normally comfortable with.

Recently God spoke a word of prophesy to me during a service that "There was something I've known possibly my whole life, and that God didn't want me to question it anymore." I knew immediately that it was talking about the calling God has placed on my life. I believe anyone with a calling involving leaving everyone and everything you love and are familiar with is going to question it at least a little. They're going to make sure they have understood 100% correctly. Why else leave it all unless God has truly spoken?!

So, I embraced the point of the message and determined to obey it, but the part that lingered with me was the "knowing it my whole life"...Had I? Was this possible? In my finite mind the "calling" happened at 16. In my finite mind.

A few weeks later, I realized that, while that was when I submitted to God's will, His will, the specific path He had desired for me to walk down, had been in His plans...my whole life. I realized this during a message at Louisiana campmeeting, that Bro. Graham preached. He talked about how when Jesus called Phillip, He was already thinking of Nathaniel: "Nathanael saith unto him, Whence knowest thou me? Jesus answered and said unto him, Before that Philip called thee, when thou wast under the fig tree, I saw thee." ~John 1:48 In Bro. Graham's message he was making the point that, from the time we are born, God has a specific destiny for us...Who was God thinking about when you were born? At the end of the message he asked a few questions...the first one: "What country were you born for?!"

When he spoke those words, it was like, for the first time ever, my entire existence, every year of Bible quizzing, every year of Bible school, exchange students whom I would always "just click with" during high school and college, my first memory of a church service being that of a missionary to China speaking...It just ALL made sense. In one simple sentence,a man who, coincidently(?) had chaperoned that first mission trip I attended, had explained it all.

I don't believe God all of a sudden decides "Ok, this is what I've decided..this is what I want you to do...", but, rather, from the time you are born, the process has already began; it's simply a matter of, when He speaks and lets you in on the plan, if you choose to obey.

In conclusion, I would like to share The Message's version of Psalm 139:13-16...which I have already shared in the NIV:

Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother's womb.
I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I'd even lived one day.

Lessons in Cheek Turning

2010-07-26T13:33:00.009-05:00

“He who is devoid of the power to forgive, is devoid of the power to love.” ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” ~Mark Twain

I have been staying at my aunt's house in TN this weekend. It's 3:00 am on a Saturday morning and I am wide awake with the thought I am about to write about weighing heavy on my mind. I just went into the living room to look for paper I could write on only to find my aunt sitting there in a chair reading her Bible...at 3:00 am. :-) I would like to claim it was God that woke us up at this odd hour of the morning, but I'm pretty sure her dog barking outside woke her up, and her yelling at said dog is what woke me up. :-P Anyway, for better or worse, here are my 3:00 am thoughts.

Blessed are the peacemakers,for they will be called sons of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you. ~Matthew 5:9-12

Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so? Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect. ~Matthew 5:43-48

Since I have been keeping this blog I have had various people email me, sometimes with words of appreciation, and others asking questions, seeking advice. One such time the advice requested was regarding how to deal with someone in the person's church who had hurt them and continued to do so.

My advice? Pray for them. Every day. Indefinitely. At first, I told the person, you will feel nothing or it will be painful, but, eventually, you will feel a transformation inside and soon will be able to speak the words with sincerity.

Prayer will always change you in a positive way, and often it will change the other person as well. However, sitting and trying to watch a rose blossom will only frustrate you. Release the person into God's hands and remember that God changes people on his timetable, not yours.

This, of course, wasn't really the advise the person wanted, but I told them that it's what I do, and I have found that it works. I also encouraged them that, in some situations, it also helps to avoid the person a bit for a while, until things cool down some, but that this is unhealthy if it goes on for too long. Passiveness and "stonewalling" are both very unhealthy ways of dealing with any situation. (I've learned this from personal experience and also from my studies as a Communication Major.) It tends to magnify, rather than shrink issues and leaves both parties "stuck in a rut" so to speak.

So...
Why "turn the other cheek?
Why treat those who treat you like dirt like royalty?

1) Because the Bible says so. (I could stop here & this be enough, but I'll go on...)

2) Because it feels good. No, not at first, sometimes there's a sharp sting of pain when you first do it or when they come back & "slap you" again--But, after that, the realization that you have taken the higher ground &, despite possible responses, chosen to be more like Christ will always feel good in the long run.

3) Read Matthew 5:9-11 again. Notice a pattern? "Blessed..." God will bless your efforts!

4) "..That ye may be the children of your Father which is in Heaven" ~Matthew 5:45
"Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons" ~Acts 10:24
God is not a partial God & we are not allowed to be either. There's one other alternative to being a child of God & that is not an alternative I ever intend to consider, which brings me to the last reason...

5) "For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." ~Matthew 6:14-15

Forgiveness is not just words, it must be words put into action, or it is a lie...

Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets. ~Matthew 7:12

God is Love and we, as Christians, must strive to be more like Him, even, and especially, when it involves "turning the other cheek".

And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these. ~Mark 12:30-31

Never forget the three powerful resources you always have available to you:
Love, Prayer, and Forgiveness. ~H. Jackson Brown

Tangent!

2010-07-20T20:56:00.026-05:00

Tangent: diversion from an original purpose or course

Tonight I heard someone use this word, a word I rarely hear used in this way, and immediately it brought back major memories...Memories of my last 2 years of college & a certain professor that I shall never forget. By the time I graduated I had taken at least 3 or 4 of this professor's classes. On the first day of each of them she would warn her students that she had tendencies to go off on tangents while speaking, and to feel free to raise our hand & yell "tangent!" to remind her to get back on topic.

Now, you would have to understand the personality of this particular teacher. She was a very sweet lady, but was the true definition of a geek. (I'm not being mean. She would even stake claim to this description.) To add to the "geekness", she also lived in the country & had things like pet donkeys, goats, a bazillion dogs, etc. So.....when she went off on tangents, normally no one was going to bring her back, because they were often down right entertaining. However, there were a few times, for example while reviewing for tests we'd be taking the next day, that one of us would do as she said and yell out "tangent!" Usually, she would apologize and then return back to the original topic.

When I heard this word used today though, it brought another thought to my mind. Tangents aren't just diversions in conversation. They can also happen in life. I am thankful for all the ministerial opportunities I have had. All the opportunities I had during Bible college..The mission trips I have participated in...The chance to work at TCM. However, over the years there is something that has greatly pricked my heart: The many people that have told me, "I had felt to go to Bible school, but...". Or "When I was younger I felt God calling me to the mission field, but..." Or, "Working at TCM was always a dream of mine, but..."

"But..." This word breaks my heart. Grant it, many of the reasons have involved something I still desire for my life, getting married & having kids, but I don't want that at the expense of getting off track of the path I know God has destined me to be on. If He decides to bless me and let that be a part of it, it will happen, and it will be God ordained, but I believe that dating someone without the same burdens or desires as myself will lead me straight to a lifetime of saying "but"; therefore I have chosen not to do so.

I don't know, I guess I'd rather have many more "ands" in my life than "buts" if possible. Rather than say, "But I didn't go" or "But I changed my mind", I would much rather have the chance to say "And then God supplied" or "And then God opened that door".

Tangents. Have you ever been on one? Are you on one now? What has God spoken to you about? Did you marry before you had a chance to begin what he was speaking to you about? Have you ever spoken to your spouse about it? Share your dreams & visions with that person. You never know how God may have in the past or may even now be dealing with him or her.

Perhaps you are single. Learn to hear God's voice and to understand what direction He wants to take you. Then commit to only dating people walking in that same direction. Also commit to doing all you can to prepare yourself for whatever He has spoken to you about.

I'm not talking about just callings such as being a missionary, pastor, music director, etc. It could be that God has dealt with you to be a doctor, nurse, military chaplain, etc. Or maybe you are already on a career path and content, but there's a gnawing you continually feel, perhaps to assist at a soup kitchen, help a widow in need, or be a father-like figure to a fatherless child.

Some tangents may take a while to recover from. Others are simply a matter of making a decision, then acting on it.

May you do a better job at living a tangent free life than my professor did at giving a tangent free lecture. God bless.

Let thine eyes look right on, and let thine eyelids look straight before thee. Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established.Turn not to the right hand nor to the left: remove thy foot from evil. ~Proverbs 4:25-27

An Unconventional God

2010-06-30T13:32:00.015-05:00

The stone which the builders refused is become the head stone of the corner. This is the LORD's doing; it is marvellous in our eyes. ~Psalm 118:22-23

According to thefreedictionary.com, to be "conventional" means to be:

based on or in accordance with general agreement, use, or practice; customary: conventional symbols; a conventional form of address.
2. Conforming to established practice or accepted standards; traditional: a conventional church wedding.
3.
a. Devoted to or bound by conventions to the point of artificiality; ceremonious.
b. Unimaginative; conformist

God is nothing like this. We serve a very unconventional God. He doesn't use conventional methods or do things according to the ways men would do them. As a matter of fact, He often tends to do them not just differently, but very differently.

There could be many reason why, one being to teach us to walk by faith, not by sight, because earthly vision alone is often misleading, being only a small piece of the real picture.

Perhaps another reason is to teach us that we have no right in deciding whom God may use, nor where He may use them. Saul, a Jew and murderer of Christians was called to reach the Gentiles. What earthly man would have ever given him that assignment?! Most people would have thrown him in the slammer and left him there. Or stoned him to death. They definitely wouldn't have invited him to come minister to them!(For more on this refer to the blogs "Amazing Grace" & "The People God Writes About")

God created each us with a destiny. Yet another reason God may use unconventional ways may be to teach us to, as the song goes "Let Go & Let God" work it out. This goes back to the concept of "walking by faith, not by sight", but, whereas that concept is merely a concept of "trusting" God, this delves deeper, to the extent of trusting Him enough to not try to create your destiny, no matter how certain you may be of it, but rather to maintain a hands off approach, unless God leads otherwise, and trust Him to open the right doors as they need to be opened.

Psalms 118:22-23 is a prophesy of Jesus Christ and how He would first be rejected, and glorified. Rejected, then glorified! Our own Savior! Not only that, but vs. 23 reveals that this would be "marvelous in our eyes" that He would bother to go through so much to save us. (Marvelous: evoking surprise, admiration, or wonder; astonishing :o) This is how God likes to work. I believe He enjoys watching his children marvel!

So what if you were told this about your life? (Rejection then promotion) Would you still be willing to "stick with the program"?

What if someone you knew was a carpenter, fisherman, tax collector, liar, adulterer, murderer, etc? Would you believe God could call or change them in an instant and save, not just individuals, but whole nations through them? Yea, even the world?

What if God showed you specifics of your destiny, would you have enough long suffering (Remember, it IS a fruit of the Spirit) to wait it out, not trying to create your own path? Perhaps sometimes simply doing your best not to make more messes for God to fix?

Yes, we serve an unconventional God. God's thoughts are not our thoughts nor are our ways His ways.

I have been reading quite a few books written by Sis. Freeman lately. Man would never have thought to choose a young man & woman from small town Lousiana/Arkansas to reach a large portion of the continent of Africa. But God did. He ordained it! What about a man from the hills of West Virginia to be an apostle to Thailand? Yep, God again. A dear couple from Wisconsin/ Tennessee to reach the country of Singapore? A God thing. No doubt I could go on forever with this list, but I hope I have already made the point....

Don't put limits on God.
Don't put limits on God's people.

God can do anything through His people, because they are HIS people.

We serve a God who specializes in using unconventional methods to reach a conventional thinking world.

My conclusion as to why He does this?
To make sure when all is said and done that we remember who's in control and to whom all the glory truly belongs!

But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. ~1 Corinthians 1:27-29

Call me foolish. Call me weak. Call me lowly.

Under the umbrella of a loving, unconventional God, I call that sweet music to my ears.

Drop Your Weapons

2010-06-21T18:38:00.021-05:00

You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.” ~Indira Gandhi

Dear Brothers & Sisters in Christ,
Today I want to remind you that unity is SO important...even more now than ever before.

And it shall come to pass in the last days, that the mountain of the LORD's house shall be established in the top of the mountains, and shall be exalted above the hills; and all nations shall flow unto it.And many people shall go and say, Come ye, and let us go up to the mountain of the LORD, to the house of the God of Jacob; and he will teach us of his ways, and we will walk in his paths: for out of Zion shall go forth the law, and the word of the LORD from Jerusalem. And he shall judge among the nations, and shall rebuke many people: and they shall beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruninghooks: nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more. O house of Jacob, come ye, and let us walk in the light of the LORD. ~Isaiah 2:2-5

Weapons do not have to be physical or verbal. I've learned through recent years that silence can also be used as a weapon. A very brutal one. Perhaps even worse than verbal. I am guilty, in the past, of having sometimes been on the sending end of this situation. I also know all too well what it's like to be on the receiving end.

One of my textbooks in college,on interpersonal communication, discussed how silence can speak and mean more than words:
"Adults, as well as children, have used the silent treatment in virtually every society throughout history as a powerful tool to express displeasure and for social control. We all know intuitively that communication--the company of others--is one of the most basic human needs and that lack of contact is among the cruelest punishments a person can suffer"(Looking Out, Looking In).

This textbook also has a Newsweek article about a military cadet who, due to having to endure this type of punishment, lost 26 lbs. I highly recommend reading the article: The Silencing. (Sorry, the only place I could find it online was on someone else's blog :-)

Years ago I witnessed something that broke my heart. Actually, it still breaks my heart. My family and other close friends gradually noticed another close friend drifting farther and farther away from our close knit circle. This person started avoiding quite a few people and gradually quit coming to our church. No one had a clue why. And I'm pretty sure just about everyone within this circle wondered if they had done something wrong to offend this person. Eventually it was discovered who had done the offending, but even they honestly had no idea what they had done. They went to this person, told them they were sorry for anything they may have ever done to hurt them, and tried to make amends....Years later, I know very little about this person or their family. They still attend church somewhere, at least I know that their children, who I once was extremely close to, do. But what was originally an awesome team of leaders being used together in a specific ministry was almost destroyed by the harboring of bad feelings, instead of the addressing of them. To my knowledge, the hurt individual has yet to be back on speaking terms with the offender, and the offender never did get a specific answer as to what they had done wrong. I reiterate that this breaks my heart. I love both of these people very much.

The Bible says that this would happen in the Endtimes:

And then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another ~Matthew 24:10

The devil's greatest tactic is to provoke disunity among the brethren. If he can do this, he doesn't have to worry about anything else, because "a house divided against itself cannot stand" (Matthew 12:25).

So, while we should be careful not to offend...

Then said he unto the disciples, It is impossible but that offences will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come! ~Luke 17:1

We should be just as careful to keeps our hearts in the right place, so we are not offended.

Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them. ~Psalm 119:165

So, in conclusion, I challenge all of you to a truce.

According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary, a truce is:
1)a suspension of fighting especially of considerable duration by agreement of opposing forces
2)a respite especially from a disagreeable or painful state or action

I want to be the first to say that if I have offended you in anyway, I am genuinely sorry. I do not want there to be one Apostolic on this planet that I could not comfortably sit down to have dinner or a cup of coffee with. As the song goes.. "I need you. You need me. We're all a part of God's body. Stand with me. Agree with me. We're all a part of God's body. It is His will that every need be supplied. You are important to me. I need you to survive."

If there is someone you're at odds with, whether due to offenses or judgments, make things right with them. Don't just sugar coat the issue or avoid it and move on. That doesn't fix anything. Work through it or it will still be remaining ever present years later. We are the FAMILY of God. More so than even in earthly families, we are in this together, and we are in this forever.

Drop your weapons & pick up your tools. We've got work to do.

A God You Can Trust

2010-06-16T20:05:00.017-05:00

So, here I am, sitting on my couch for the 6th hour in a row...No, it's not because I'm a loser and a bum. It's because my day has went nothing like I had planned. It started out according to schedule: Teach summer school a few hours...then in charge of watching the boys at Parks Hall for a while,...then, well, before that "then" occurred my plans for the day came to a screeching halt. Out of nowhere I became really dizzy and had to call for someone to fill in for me and take me back to my apartment. This is actually the second day in the row this has happened, but last night I was already sitting on my couch when the feeling hit me. So, my evening plans of catching up via phone with a dear friend & mentor didn't happen (slept through the time we were supposed to talk). Packing for my trip home hasn't happened. Nor has some actual packing up I was planning on doing for a soon coming transition happened. All I have accomplished this evening is eating a little and reading a little...and these only if I hold my head veeerry still. :oP

I'm not saying any of this to make you feel sorry for me, no point in that...well, unless you live nearby and want to bring me ice cream or something. ;o) While I've been lying and sitting here bored out of my mind, I have been trying to think positively, instead of thinking about all the random things I should be accomplishing, but can't just yet. This has kind of been a theme in my life lately..thinking & talking positively no matter what.

So, while I was lying here I got to thinking about how thankful I am that I can barely remember the last time I was sick...and how I should have died in a car accident about 3 years ago, but didn't...I wasn't even hurt more than a few bruises. After that I vowed to myself that I would thank God every day simply for the gift of life, no matter how bad things might seem. And I did...for about a year or so. Recently I realized that I had gotten away from that some, and am now working on it again. No doubt 2 years ago God spared my life as well...think I'm the only person I know who's been in 2 car accidents within 2 hours of each other (for the record, I was only driving in one :o). Once again, no injuries. God has truly protected me.

After thinking about all this this evening, and then starting to read, what do I happen to read but the following:

Sickness helps us appreciate health. Failure helps us appreciate success. Debt helps us appreciate wealth. And the tough times help us appreciate the good times. That's just the way life is. I've also learned that our worst days can become our best days. ~In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day

A quote I just read tonight sums this up well, ""Today's thorn is tomorrow's flower."

The author goes on to talk about how he has a birthday he celebrates and a pseudobirthday. When I first read that I was like "Huh?!" Then it made more sense when he went on to explain how that was basically the day he should have died due to a serious medical problem. He goes on to say:

It is difficult to take life for granted when you have almost died. I enjoy life more because I've come to terms with my mortality.

After that first major accident, many people asked me things like "Did you think you were going to die?" "Did your life flash before your eyes?" I was honestly able to tell them "No". I thought "this might hurt!",but there were many promises and words about my future that God had given me and I knew it wasn't my time, because they hadn't been fulfilled yet. God had spoken and when my car was spinning, being hit, and rolling, in His Words is where I found my peace.

God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good? ~Numbers 23:19

What's going on in your life? Has God spoken to you? If so, are you walking by faith or by sight? God doesn't use words to butter you up and make you feel good. When He speaks, it's for a reason. His words are truth and He doesn't throw them around.

I know my best days are ahead of me. I am excited about committing my life to doing what God has called me to do. Recently I was reminded that only through this will I ever truly be fulfilled. Fulfillment in Christ is my soul desire. I've realized I need it more than I need anything else. Hold to Gods promises. You can trust Him like none other. Do what you know to do and trust God to take care of the rest. He doesn't need someone to offer Him advice; He needs a willing vessel.

A Small Cosmos

2010-06-09T20:06:00.022-05:00

How much happier you would be,
how much more of you there would be,
if the hammer of a higher God,
could smash your small cosmos.
~GK Chesterton

Recently a pastor & his wife ministered at the church where I attend. Their messages were each titled differently, but went hand in hand. His: "Intentionally Infinite". Hers: "Intentionally Intimate".

He talked about how God created the universe... with sand & stars immeasurable and with a sun more than 100 times the size of the earth. There were many characteristics of our vast universe that he talked about that day, but what inspired me the most was the reason why He said God created it that way: So we would always remember that God can do ANYTHING. That he created the universe and has all control.

Last week I was at the beach and got to do one of my absolute favorite things ..something I usually only get to do once or twice a year, if I'm luckily. I got to sit on the beach that night, by myself, and listen to the waves and think about God and talk with Him. Nowhere else on the planet do I feel any closer to Him than when I sit and stare at that vast body of water that seems to go on forever and hear those waves crash in perfect rhythm against the shore. It is there that I can partially grasp the full reality of how big He really is. It is there that I also am reminded how small indeed I am, and how that doesn't matter because He cares about me and He is the one in control of everything. It is there that I'm remind of Romans 8:28, and how "..all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose."

Returning back to the pastor & his wife who spoke.. after he had concluded speaking, she then spoke on how God is intentionally intimate...how sometimes, whether through fault of our own or through just life circumstances happening, he will let us go through trials for a while, because it is often in trials that we draw closer to him and learn from him..and that your trial will not last forever. Her personal testimony she shared involved a rare sickness, which almost everyone who had ever had it had died. She was sick for many years with it, but God provided 2 miraculous instantaneous healings and she is now doing very well.

The book I am reading,"In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day" shares the following:

Too often our prayers revolve around asking God to reduce the odds in our lives. We want everything in our favor. But maybe God wants to stack the odds against us so we can experience a miracle of divine proportions. Maybe faith is trusting God no matter how impossible the odds are. Maybe our impossible situations are opportunities to experience a new dimension of God's glory.

Now I know I have already mentioned Romans 8:28..but verse 29 is also very important:

For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son...

So what does it take to make an image? According to an article by Elisabeth Elliot:

Michaelangelo made it sound very simple when he said, "All you have to do is take a block of marble and knock off anything that doesn't look like David." But it takes a hammer and a chisel and a file. There will be hammer blows as God takes upon Himself the shaping of each one of us individuals. So there will be some hammer blows, some very big and recognizable crosses in your life, to change the metaphor. Then there is the chisel, which is painful, chiseling off those sharp corners. Finally there's the file, which is probably everyday in one way or another.

She also goes on to remind that any cross God "sends you He has considered with His all-knowing eyes, understood with His divine mind, tested with His wise justice, warmed with loving arms, and weighed with His own hands, to see that it be not one inch too large and not one ounce too heavy for you."

So..I ask you: What does the universe look like to you? Do you just see your universe.."your small cosmos". Are you in the center of it? Or are remembering that you are a part of God's...and that HE is to be the center?

Your universe may have limited resources, but His doesn't.

His also has a greater plan in mind for your life, a greater one than your finite mind can imagine.

No more tunnel vision. It's time to open our eyes to the big picture.

Tell Him

2010-05-18T21:23:00.012-05:00

When I first moved to TCM, I was bracing myself for anything. You see, I realized that working with teenagers can be tough...and that working with teens who have been seriously hurt and abused would be even tougher. On a personal level, I came with expectations of probably some personal slams occuring against yours truly, merely due to someone having a bad day and feeling the need to lash out at whomever happened to be targetable at the moment. I'm not a pessimist, just realistic. I know that hurt people hurt people and I was mentally & emotionally preparing myself for this. I expected it, was prepared for it, and was prepared to implement the correct disciplinary action (aka: send them to the principal :o)), if necessary, but on a personal level, just try to let it roll off my back...

But now, looking back, I have realized just the opposite has happened. Sure, I've heard more than my fair share of rude negative comments, but hardly any personal attacks...in fact, I think I have received more compliments from these kids in the past 5 months than I've probably received in the last 5 years. I've been truly amazed.

One of my favorite love songs is "Tell Him", a song sung by Barbra Streisand & Celine Dion. The song is a conversation between a mother & a daughter. The daughter is in love with a man but is scared to tell him, for fear of rejection. The mom in turn encourages the daughter to tell the man how she feels about him. The daughter then basically says "you're right", that she better tell him now or she won't be able to live with herself.

I know at this point you're probably thinking "Where in the world is she going with this?!"

You see, God likes compliments too. No, God LOVES compliments. Psalm 22:3 says, "But thou art holy, O thou that inhabitest the praises of Israel."...God DWELLS in the praises of His people! God loves praise.

So, TELL HIM. Tell Him how awesome you think He is. How in awe you are of Him. How lovely He is. How breath taking His creation is. Don't put it off. Tell Him TODAY..and tomorrow...and every day for the rest of your life. He likes to hear it. It makes Him happy. It's music to His ears.

Don't be shy...Tell Him.

Tell Him

Great Expectations

2010-05-11T17:07:00.017-05:00

Today, while doing after school care, I saw one of the cutest & funniest things I have seen in a long time. I was watching the kids outside while they were playing on the playground. There were a few squirt bottles filled with ice water for the kids to use, with the understanding that no one's mouth could touch the bottles and therefore the water had to be squirted into their mouths. Eventually 4 or 5 of the kids got thirsty all at once and came over to the cooler to get their drinks, some waiting patiently and other's impatiently for their turn. The older kids insisted that the younger were too young to do it, and so they were helping them...or at least attempting to. Somehow, however, one of the youngest, whose only 4, not only used a bottle on his own, but he actually did it correctly.

Fast forward to a few minutes later..the older kids have the bottles and are standing no where near this child, yet I look up, and there he is...eyes closed, head tilted back, mouth as wide open as he can open it....Obviously this child is expecting some water to be poured into his mouth at any minute. The best part is he stayed in this position for a very long time...and I just stood there watching him...smiling.

I'm honestly not sure if this boy ever did get the water he was expecting...or even know why he struck that pose in the first place. Had someone told him they were going to give him water? Did he just think if he did that, that someone would automatically get the hint and give him some? I have no idea...but I do know that seeing that struck a chord in my heart.

It made me think about God and how I want to have that kind of expectancy with him...that kind of faith. The kind that when I pray about something, I might as well just consider it done.

The look of expectancy I saw on that little boy is the look I want God to see when he looks at me. I assure you, if I had had a water bottle in my hand, that boy would have gotten the water he was waiting on right that minute. How much more does God care about his own children? And how flattering would it be to him to see us with that level of expectancy...that level of faith.

According to God, in the book of Malachi, if we are in right relationship with Him...living like we should & giving like we should, we are given some awesome promises. Why not live expecting them?

...Test me in this and see if I don't open up heaven itself to you and pour out blessings beyond your wildest dreams. (Malachi 3:10 - The Message)

They Which Do Hunger & Thirst

2010-05-07T13:25:00.023-05:00

Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled. ~Matthew 5:6

Lately I have been thinking a lot about men & women of God such as J.T. Pugh, Nona Freeman, T.F.Tenney, Joy Haney, etc. Pretty much since the time I started keeping this blog I have been reading anything and everything I can get my hand on that's written by people of this caliber. I have developed an unquenchable thirst to understand how their walks with God became such as they were/are.

Often I have heard people refer back to certain bygone days as "back in the tent revival days", as if the miracles & revivals seen then are exclusive to that time. And I have heard references to the revivals in Africa, as if they're exclusive to that continent and not to be expected to occur elsewhere...

This is wrong. This is shallow. And I refuse to believe it or to accept it.

These amazing stories are not selective to a certain time or place. They are merely a result of God's children being willing to sacrifice, caring more about seeing God move than about anything else on this earth.

One day this week, in the Bible class I've been teaching to Jr. High students, I taught on miracles. Having read a great article from the UPCI World Network of Prayer Website by Sis. Lisa Marshall, I felt inspired to share it with them. She had written about how the saints of God used to gather for a "season of prayer", an indefinite amount of time in which they would pray until something happened, then they started meeting for a "time of prayer",a set amount of time, such as 5-8 pm, and "if God was going to move, it best happen during that time."..we started giving God time limits. Now we have reached a time where sometimes in services we simply pause for "a moment of prayer". This is very sad and I am convinced this has been reflected in the gradual lessening of miracles and healings that we have been seeing through the years. This must change and it must change now.

I then went on to read to the students random miracles Sis. Nona Freeman had written about in her book "Everything's Gonna to Be Alright!" By the time I was done, many of them were in awe & a few actually wanted me to keep reading.

The next day I taught on prayer, referring to & expounding on another article Sis. Marshall had written on hinderances to prayer. (VERY good article) And then talked to them about if we want to see miracles like "that lady" did,then we have to pray like "that lady" did. (Many of these kids hadn't heard of her until I told them these stories since many of them haven't been raised in an Apostolic church...or oftentimes any church at all.)

You see, through reading these books I have realized (well I already figured, but just needed to be reassured :-)that these people weren't born "super spiritual" with their own personal, way quicker & clearer than everyone else's, ultra-special, direct line to God....at least not more so than anyone else who's ever been born. They too had to grown in their walks with God & in their faith. They too had moments of frustration & moments of weakness in faith. However, each time things seemed hopeless and they saw God work, their faith grew and their faith strengthened.

I've came to the conclusion that each & every one of us can be used by God as much and to whatever extent that we desire to be. The only questions are: how bad do we want it & what are we willing to do about it?

I don't know about you, but I hunger. I hunger to dig deeper into God's word. I thirst. I thirst to glean from the numerous men & women of God who know much more than I do & have experienced much more than I have. I hunger. I hunger for longer conversations with God filled more with Him speaking & me listening, versus me speaking & Him listening. I thirst. I thirst to go wherever He wants me to go and do whatever He wants me to do.

However...
I may be hungry & I may be thirsty...but there's a world that's starving. It's starving spiritually. They're eating whatever they can get their hands on, yet every morning they still wake up with the same sick, empty filling, deciding "Tomorrow I'm going to try something else." And often, they do...and yet still wake up to that same feeling. Why not offer Christ and let Him be the next thing they try?

I hunger & I thirst to assist God in feeding this starving world.

So what about you?...What are YOU hungry & thirsty for?

And he humbled thee, and suffered thee to hunger, and fed thee with manna, which thou knewest not, neither did thy fathers know; that he might make thee know that man doth not live by bread only, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of the LORD doth man live. ~Deuteronomy 8:3

And gavest them bread from heaven for their hunger, and broughtest forth water for them out of the rock for their thirst, and promisedst them that they should go in to possess the land which thou hadst sworn to give them. ~Nehemiah 9:15

Luke 6:21
Blessed are ye that hunger now: for ye shall be filled. Blessed are ye that weep now: for ye shall laugh.

Beneath the Blood

2010-04-08T20:09:00.009-05:00

Today a long lost memory came back to my mind...one I'm sure I had buried on purpose, and will probably rebury after writing this blog, but that I believe God has brought back to me for a purpose. Maybe that purpose is you..I don't know, but I do feel to share.

A long time ago, when I was around 13 or 14, I sung in a youth choir, directed by Bro. Johnathan Dean. I absolutely loved it. We would travel some and this one particular time we were to sing somewhere in Louisiana (I forget where now) at a 2 day youth choir concert/ lock-in called Variety. Up until that point it was one of the most fun, inspiring, unique meetings to which I had ever been.

However, while there I received some bad news. Some really bad news...news,though, that could have had a much worse ending than it did. I didn't tell anyone. It was news about one of my best friends...news that had devastated me. I did my best at hiding any of the internal emotional turmoil I was feeling...until a choir (I believe from Denham Springs) got up to sing the song whose lyrics I am enclosing below. When the soloist began singing the 2nd verse I fell to the ground crying and felt God's comfort that day like I had never felt it before.

You see, this verse hit home with me. One of my closest friends had taken a bottle of pills in an attempted suicide. All kind of thoughts were running through my mind. Why would she do this?! Am I a bad friend that I didn't see this coming? Am I a bad friend that she wouldn't have talked to me about the reasons behind her attempting to do this in the first place?! This particular friend was a few years older than me, as most of my closest friends at that time were, and while she attended church faithfully, she was not living right. Being young and naive, at the time I was oblivious to the extent of some of the things she was mixed up in. (Luckily God's hand of protection was upon me. I've since learned that sometimes ignorance is bliss, but other times it can get you in trouble.) Praise God, though, that she did end up surviving. I never did actually come out and ask her why she had done it. I just tried to shower her with love and let her know that if she ever felt those feelings again to please talk to me first.

So what does all this have to do with "The Blood"? A lot. You see, there were two ways this song spoke to me that day. I questioned if my friend had looked around and seen the state she was in and began to question if she could turn back. I also questioned if my own life was right and if I had failed as a friend in someway. Had I been reaching out to her enough? Been a good & strong enough example?

That day I repented for myself and travailed for her...for God to save her life and for him to redeem her. Maybe I needed to repent. Maybe I didn't. But, at that moment I felt that if there was more I could have done, and I didn't do it, than I had fell short.

If you have "a past" or have a burden for a loved one or friend that does, remember, no matter what the situation, there's bigger sins than that beneath the blood. God's blood can cover any sin.

Also, if you or that person had a call on your life before, "God's gifts and his call are irrevocable". (Romans 11:29) Sometimes when people who have had a calling on their life come back to God, I believe they feel it is an impossibility to still fulfill their ministry. Due to the un-God-like judgements made my some Christians, there is often a barrier present, and it can be more challenging, but never impossible. God's always on your side, even when man isn't. However, I also think sometimes the person dreads facing the challenge and actually ends up running from their calling, taking the easy, but in truth miserable, way out, deciding that "that was before, God can't use me that way now." This can be either a lie from man or a lie from the devil. Either way though, it's a lie.

No matter what you've done, there's bigger sins than that beneath the blood. Accept his mercy. Accept his grace. Thank him for it. And move forward into your destiny. Our days left here on earth are very short & eternity is very long.

Bigger Sins than That

Verse 1:
So you think you made the ultimate mistake,
And Satan says, "There's just no use to pray",
Cause you have gone beyond God's grace this time",
Did you know that was Satan's favorite line?

Chorus:
There's bigger sins than that beneath the Blood;
Darker deeds by far that He's forgiven people of.
So don't let Satan blind you, where you can't
See God's endless love.
Because there's bigger sins than that beneath the blood!

Verse 2:
Somewhere in the darkness of the night
A teenage boy decides to take his life,
Cause he feels he's not worthy of God's love.
If he could only see beneath the blood!

Bridge:
Don't let him deceive you.
Cause Jesus will forgive you!

Also lyrics to another very good song that's by PCD:
Let the Blood Speak for Me

Clearing the Clutter

2010-03-11T19:09:00.012-06:00

So here I am, sitting on my couch in my apartment blogging, when I should be packing. Why? Well, there's a few reasons. Number One: I hate packing. Number 2: Almost nothing is where it usually belongs...making me hate packing even more.

You see, not only am I packing for a trip, but I also am in the middle of a move. Not a drastic one..just moving down the hallway. Due to many various reasons, this move has been up in the air for about 2 months. So, for two months, I have held off putting up pictures, etc on the walls, which has made my apartment seem not quite like "home" yet. Not a big deal. However, I had thought I was finally really moving the beginning of this week. My friend who's been living in the apartment I'm moving into, has moved most of her things out of it, so I have moved some things in. Since we were expecting her furniture to be moved out, I had taken all my drawers out of my dressers, books off my bookshelves, etc expecting to move first, get reorganized, and then pack for the trip.

Which brings me to what my apartment looks like right now...at least 6 drawers laying across my bedroom, bags filled with books and various other things everywhere...and add to that that I have walked down the hall at least 10 times in the last 2 days to retrieve things I've ended up needing during the week and will need for the trip.

Clutter. I hate clutter. I am not OCD about it, but I have definitely noticed that when my personal space is cluttered it makes everything seem out of sync. To me "a place for everything and everything in its place" is a great motto. From personal experience, I've also noticed the the smaller my space, the greater extremes I go to to live by this motto. I've come to the conclusion that this is because when the clutter is staring you in the face, it's much harder to ignore than if it's in the other room and you have the option of avoiding looking at it.

For a while now I have been spending a lot of time trying to "clear the clutter" in my spiritual life. While I already had quite a few personal convictions that few people that I know even share, I realized there were still other areas I needed to examine and make decisions regarding..some of which are areas which had never even crossed my mind as needing to be examined. Sometimes you're not even sure where the clutter comes from, but whatever it is, when you realize it's there, it needs to be taken care of right away.

1 Corinthians 13:12 says:

"For now we see through a glass, darkly.."

During this time of "decluttering" I have been asking God to help me see myself more clearly, the way He sees me. To help me understand how things gets cluttered in the first place. Who hasn't had busy moments in life, not able to get everything put up in a timely fashion, and all of a sudden looked around their house and thought, "Wow, when did this happen?!"

One's spiritual life can be the same. One way I have greatly tried to "declutter" is by cutting out a large amount of Hollywood media from my life. It's been quite a while ago when I upped the quality of what I would allow myself to watch (I haven't been perfect in this area, but have came a long ways.) However, now, I'm limiting in general the amount as well. I am instead replacing it with reading mostly non-fiction books by Christian authors...and I am learning a lot.

I also felt clutter from working a secular job and going to a secular college and having little time for ministry (or hardly for sleep at that!) So I have chosen a job for now, and will be making plans for in the future, in which I am able to be working a lot in ministry. This is my heartbeat. God made me this way. Now when my life feels cluttered, I at least know it's for the right reasons.

I Kings 19:11-12 says:

"And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the LORD. And, behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the LORD; but the LORD was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the LORD was not in the earthquake:

12And after the earthquake a fire; but the LORD was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice.

When I read this chapter recently a lot of new things stood out to me, some of which I may blog about later, however one I will mention now.

Many times I've heard ministers talk about these verses saying, "Be sure to listen for God's voice..You need to be silent/ focused to hear it. It's not always loud and obvious." And I understand this and agree. But I also think that the winds, and the rocks breaking, and the earthquaking, and the fire can symbolize something often overlooked.

I believe sometimes, when really great things or really bad things happen in our lives, we assume that God's hand is in it and we're too busy staring at the issue and coming to our own conclusions to listen to God's voice..still & small. In other words: I think we as Christians still sometimes let superstition sneak into our judgment/ decision making. Bad things happen to good people. And good things happen to bad people. God allows both and He has his reasons, but we must not make our decisions simply based on the force & direction of the wind or the heat of the fire.

While decluttering I am also asking God to help me to remember this. I don't want clutter to crowd my decision making. I want to always wait for and listen to His voice, no matter what the weather or circumstance. No matter what doors are closed or open. No matter what.

Friends, acquaintances, strangers:
I encourage you to look around your "room" and see what clutter you find there. Where did it come from? Now that you see it, what are you going to do about it? "A place for everything and everything in its place." If you don't know what to do with it, ask God, He knows...He may speak softly, but, if you wait, He WILL speak.

Runner, Run On!

2010-02-18T15:42:00.003-06:00

This blog is simply notes from a message one of my teachers spoke on when I attended IBC. Lately I have been starting to go through my old textbook and class notes and am using them some to study for the Bible class I teach at TCA. I also recently came across all the sermon notes I’d kept and have been reading through them some in my devotional time. (When attending there I attended 3 services a week & 2 chapels (heard 2 messages, usually by students in each chapel)…you can just imagine how many notes I have!)

I am very much enjoying reading through them though…it’s like having a collection of devotionals written mostly by people I know. :o) Anyway, the following is something Bro. Brown spoke on in chapel in November of ’01. I found it very encouraging and really like the approach he took. This is straight out of my notes; nothing changed or edited…just thought I’d share some food for thought.

1 Cor. 9:24

People often begin something but never see it to completion—making up an excuse to justify their failure.

Get in the race & run!!!

Sometimes it takes a lot of effort to just begin a race.
---Every race has a starting point.

Acts 9:5 – This is where Paul’s race began.

The race is not easy.
You will get tired, weary, & uneasy.

Sometimes training for a race is long, difficult, & inconvenient.

Training takes time, “eating” only certain things.

Athletes spend tons of time training for a one time event.
The training is actually part of the race.---We need to be prepared.

A runner needs to be careful not to carry excess weight.
We must have the right equipment & none of what we don’t need.
---Does a runner wear a weight?

II Timothy 2:15

Training is necessary.

Your heart must be set for the long haul.

Many times the person who wins the race is the one that just keeps putting one foot in front of the other.

(Poem “Don’t You Quit”)

Every Christian is Involved in 2 Races: 1) The Race for Salvation
2) The Race of Your Ministry

Don’t base your calling on other people’s responses to your calling!

Persistence is the key to ministry.

I Want to Love God More

2010-02-14T20:16:00.014-06:00

Last night I had "dorm duty" also known as "relief" here at TCM. To inquiring minds that have no idea what that is: dorm duty is basically where staff who are not houseparents (houseparents being the people who live with the kids on a full time basis) relieve the houseparents by filling in for them on their days off. "Dorm duty" is split up into various shifts and we are assigned so many shifts a month. Right now we all are doing quite a few, due to being short houseparents for one dorm. Hopefully God will take care of that problem in the near future. :o)

So, basically, anyone over a dorm plays the role of parent to that dorm for whatever time period they are there..from making sure the kids are taken care of and not doing things they shouldn't do, to making sure their chores are done, they are fed,have taken their meds if needed,all laundry is done, and that everything is clean and in perfect shape for when the next shift arrives. Most dorms have 8-10 kids. So..that's what I've been doing the last 2 Saturday evenings and will be doing the next one.

The dorm I had last night was mostly Sr. High school age girls and an 8 year old. When it came time for bed for the 8 year old, I helped her get ready, tucked her in,turned the lamp on, said her prayer with her, told her good night, and closed the door halfway after turning the light out.

About 30 minutes later I came back by. She was lying in bed sobbing. I asked her what was wrong. Her reply: "I want my Momma." She continued to sob and say this. Luckily, I was actually on top of things at that moment. Most all of the house cleaning was done and the older girls were watching a movie I had brought (Little Women), so I was able to stay with her for a while. When I came in she was sitting up, so I tucked her back in, put my arm around her and laid there while she continued to cry and say that she wanted her mom. I had no idea what to do to console this little girl.

When you're babysitting you can always say, "she'll be home soon!" or "let's call her!" I know very little about this little girl, but I'm pretty sure her mom is not dead; however, apparently, though, her bad decisions had led to her little girl's tears that night.

Not knowing what else to do, I prayed over her and began singing to her. I didn't know what to sing...nothing seemed to come to mind. Finally I began, "I love you Lord and I lift my voice, to worship you Oh my soul, rejoice. Take joy my king, in what you hear, let it be a sweet sweet sound in your ear." Not exactly a kid's song, but I always feel peace when I sing it. After a while her body stopped shaking from her sobbing and she drifted off to sleep.

I sat there for a few minutes, not wanting to risk waking her up, thinking about how this little innocent girl didn't deserve this. Most people have experienced nights crying themselves to sleep; however, no one deserves them. Especially children.

My pastor preached once about getting out of God's order, (I think I may have mentioned this in a previous blog?)and how when that happens it causes chaos. When whatever decisions were made, that ended with this little girl crying herself to sleep, I'm sure a picture of this little girl crying herself to sleep did not pop into that parent's mind. Whether it was an illicit drug taken, the choice to live with an abusive boyfriend, hitting or verbally abusing a child, etc. The person who made that decision most likely did not think "this is what's going to happen and I don't care." They lived in the moment; not considering what that meant for the future. A future that belonged to not just them, but their children as well.

Today Bro. Judd preached on "Loving God More". Do you love God more than anything and anyone? If you do than you should never have to worry about getting out of God's order, it's when this answer becomes compromised that trouble results. I personally have a calling on my life that I know involves living away from my family. Sometimes accepting and embracing this is not an easy thing. However, God's word tells me:

And there went great multitudes with him: and he turned, and said unto them, If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple. And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple. ~Luke 14:25-27

And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life. ~Matthew 19:29

When God's word speaks; we have to accept. It can't be sugar coated or made to fit our own agenda.

Back to the dorm...
When I became convinced that the little girl I was watching was sound asleep, I slowly got up, hoping not to wake her; however, she did wake up. I was then worried she was going to bust out crying again. Instead, she asked me for a hug and told me goodnight. Peace is precious. Especially when it's from God.

So, you may be wondering, what does this little girl have to do with loving God more? Well, most of the kids that come to the mansion are somehow connected to Pentecost. Either their parents are or were Pentecostal at one time or a grandparent or close relative usually is. That's typically how people find out about The Mansion. Therefore, there's a very good chance this little girl's Mom has known God, but has chosen to serve something or someone else instead, not only putting it ahead of God, but her daughter as well.

So, who or what do you love more? Is God at the top of your list? Above careers. Above people? Above your personal plans and desires? Above people's plans and desires for you? Above money? Above yourself?

We sang the song below at church today. It's one of my favorites. On this Valentine's Day, this is my desire. I want to "Love God More" and draw closer and closer to Him everyday.

The More I Seek You

Sit Still

2010-02-10T22:09:00.007-06:00

Something that I found quite humorous occurred in one of my classes today. While teaching (actually, at this time reading) in my Biology class about mammals, a new student raised his hand, said, "I know this is random but..." and asked his question. His question was about tornadoes, not animals. One of the posters on the classroom wall has a chart about where tornadoes tend to occur and at what time of year they are most likely to occur. Apparently, he was busy staring at this poster, almost too far away for him to even be able to read, while I was reading about mammals.

Some days this might annoy me. This particular day I decided to let it slide and let conversation ensue for a few minutes. Mainly because I found it so amusing. You see, this student asked this question with fear in his eyes. This Senior, who is from near a very large city in the northeast, from my understanding was mixed up in the gang world. I'm pretty sure we are pretty much temporarily doubling as his "protection agency". This "gangster"...is scared of tornadoes.

His question was if they get tornadoes in Tupelo. The other students, of course, were quick to reply, in almost a bragging sense, that they do. They went on to tell random stories of buildings blown away, people killed, etc...the more they talked the more his eyes widened. It was all I could do not to start laughing. Here, the new "cool guy" on campus (per some of the students already starting to try to look like him in fashion sense, etc) was starting to freak out because he doesn't want to die in a tornado. No doubt, he has probably seen many bullets fly, but a tornado? God forbid.

I quickly assured him that everyone he had met who lived there had probably survived a tornado, if they'd lived there at least a year, so he had nothing to worry about. He, of course, referred to the one local death one of the kids had mentioned (not even sure it was true) and said, "Yes, but I don't want to be the one that dies!" I once again told him he had nothing to worry about, and quickly steered the class back on course.

It made me wonder though...how often are we like this? God brings us through one crisis after another (not sure about this? if you're still here, he's brought or is bringing you through) and yet we find ourselves worrying about every little thing. Worrying about it until it becomes way bigger than it is. And forgetting that even if it were truly a mountain, God could move it.

Recently I was reading a book that Sis. Joy Haney wrote. She spoke of how one time her and her husband were going through a very rough time in their lives and that God spoke to her one day that she must remember that, no matter the situation "God is in charge!" Ruth 3:18 also came to her mind: "Sit still, my daughter, until thou know how the matter will fall".

Don't dream up worse case scenarios. Don't throw in the towel before the last round. Remember: You have God on your side. Your job is to have faith and let Him work. Hear that? Let HIM work. Don't strategize, manipulate, or try to speed up the process. Trust. Have Faith. Live a Godly life, day in and day out.

God spoke to me last year through a very sweet & godly lady that I have desires and dreams and that God has even greater ones for me. I've came a very long way in the last few years at embracing some of the desires and dreams it appears God has for me, but I still believe even now that they are even greater than I can imagine. And I'm holding Him to it. Because that's exactly what He wants me to do.

I've seen what He's done in the past. And that gives me hope for what He will do in the future. My God has never failed. And He never will.

God Loves People

2010-01-31T21:52:00.007-06:00

*Singing*

God Loves People./ Any Shape. Any Color. Any Size./ You Don't Have to Be an Angel. To Be Really Special in His Eyes./ Well He Said it in John 3:16. And He Proved it on Calvary too./ God Loves People. Ordinary People. People Like Me & You....God Loves People. Ordinary People./ He Even Likes Me & You.

Perhaps you too grew up singing this song; or perhaps you have never heard it in your life. I used to sing it Sunday School; but haven't thought of it in years...until it just popped into my head tonight. You see, I have felt to blog about the recent experiences in my life now for a while, but my thoughts have been swirling in so many directions, I haven't been able to anchor them down yet to start typing. They're still swirling and there's much I have to share, but for now, I want to leave you with this:

God LOVES People.
Christian means Christlike.
As Christians we too must love people.

Not just our favorites. Not just those who flatter us. Or those who we think we can benefit from. Or those who we find pleasurable being around.

People. All people. Those we have things in common with. Those we have nothing in common with. Those who make us feel good. Those who annoy the fire out of us. Those who mean what they say. And those who don't. Those who exemplify Christ toward you. And those who don't.

Over the last month I have met MANY people. Here at TCMM, between the off-campus students, resident kids, staff kids and all the staff, I've probably met over 150 people. And not just met them, but am trying to learn their names, where they're originally from, who they are related to (when applicable), their interests, desires & goals, dislikes, etc.

I have also visited Memphis, a church about an hour from here, and a local church.

People. Lots and lots of people. From befriending a very sweet & classy evangelist's wife in Memphis to meeting a paraplegic lady in MS, who once taught in my home town in AR, to meeting a very simple, but very sweet couple, while leaving the church I visited tonight.

People. God loves them ALL.

Recently I heard someone refer to the school where I am teaching as a "glorified reform school". (The person's child attends there; this statement was made in an objective, not a belittling, manner). Most of my students come from troubled backgrounds; particularly the resident students (aka: Mansion Kids). Some of the off-campus students have been kicked out of other schools and some of the off-campus kids are angels. It makes for an interesting & challenging situation.

So what do I do? Well, I've prayed a lot about it; that's for sure. The answer? Love. Love them authentically and equally. Easy? No. Absolutely necessary? Yes.

And you know what? I believe they know.

It's not just kids that can read people. Everyone can. People have an innate ability of knowing whether you're real or fake. Of knowing whether the love your showing is real & from God or whether it's manufactured.

Love people.

How you might ask?
Love God first.
If He's truly first and foremost in your life, loving people, no matter how unlovable they may seem, will seem like less of a challenge and more of a privilege.

This morning Pastor Judd asked a question that I think is good for everyone to ask themselves:
"Has there ever been a time that you were more in love with God than you are now?" If the answer is yes, perhaps you should start with falling back in love with God.

My friend, we are indeed so blessed, because it's true:
God Loves People. Ordinary People. He Even Likes Me & You.

Not Your Buddy

2010-01-28T21:34:00.002-06:00

A friend of mine recently posted a link to the article below on Facebook. After reading it, I felt it was so right on the mark and pertinent to the times that I've decided to post it on here as well. It is about guy-girl relationships/ friendships. The only thing negative I have to say about the article is that it refers to the "buddy" problem as being more a guy's problem, when I think there are just as many girls as guilty of this as there are guys, at least from what I have seen. I highly recommend reading this; especially if you are single or if you have children who are of dating age.

Not Your Buddy

"Facing Your Giants"...Why David?

2010-01-12T19:55:00.008-06:00

So, I'm doing the unthinkable...I'm blogging twice on the same day! And it's not even because I have a bunch of free time on my hands! Just figured I'd shared some negative comments regarding a book I was reading, so thought I would share some positive ones on another one I am reading: "Facing Your Giants" by Max Lucado. It's really good thus far and I don't really have much to actually "say" about it, but rather have some parts that have stood out to me that I'd like to share. (For background, the book is about facing giants in life and is paralleled with the story of David defeating Goliath.)

Giants. We must face them. Yet we need not face them alone. Focus first, and most, on God. The times David did, giants fell. The days he didn't, David did.

...And that's where we find David, in the pasture with the flock. Scripture dedicates sixty-six chapters to his story, more than anyone else in the Bible outside of Jesus. The New Testament mentions his name fifty-nine times. He will establish and inhabit the world's most famous city, Jerusalem. The Son of God will be called the Son of David. The greatest of psalms will flow from his pen. We'll call him king, warrior, minstrel, and giant-killer. But today he's not even included in the family meeting; he's just a forgotten, uncredentialed kid, performing a menial task in a map-dot town.

What caused God to pick him? We want to know. We really want to know.

.....God saw what no one else saw: a God-seeking heart. David, for all his foibles, sought God like a lark seeks sunshine. He took after God's heart, because he stayed after God's heart. In the end, that's all God wanted or needed...wants or needs. Others measure your waist size or wallet. Not God. He examines hearts. When He finds one set on Him, He calls it and claims it.

God of the Detour

2010-01-06T18:15:00.006-06:00

So here I am. Arrived at TCMM on Saturday and I have already almost finished getting settled into my apartment, met somewhere close to a hundred people, all of whose names I’m trying to quickly memorize, and started teaching 5 different subjects for my first time ever.

I am really excited about a class I didn’t realize I would be teaching and that’s the Bible class for the Junior High students which has about 30 students in it. Not only that, but I get to create my own curriculum (in other words teach whatever I feel to teach). What an awesome opportunity! I had brought tons of my notes and books from my Bible school years, because I was wanting to do a lot more studying this year in my free time, however now I’m reeeally thankful I decided to bring them, because I sure know I’m going to need them!

The other classes I’m teaching are English I, Health (twice), Biology, & Basic Math. Yeah for English & Health! As for Biology & Math..I shall survive. :o)

Being the new girl at TCMM is quite interesting. Before classes started I had lots of the kids ask me random things like, “Are you my new Science teacher?!” or state, “My name’s _____ & you’re my new English teacher!” And then there are the ones who have asked if I’ve started college yet, since a lot of them think I'm about 19. Some of the staff have shared with me random comments the residents have made regarding their first impressions of me. Amusing stuff. :o)

My first day of classes went waaay smoother than I had expected. The plan had been for someone to assist me a few days, but that didn’t end up happening. I’m glad though. Think they would have made me more nervous than the kids!

A few things I can say about the people here so far: I have never been around so many people that truly have a servant’s heart. Any help I have needed, not only has someone been more than willing to assist me, but they often offered before I’ve had a chance to even ask. Also, everyone has been very welcoming, to the extent that I can totally understand how this would be a great place of healing for a hurting child. I have felt very welcomed from the second I arrived here.

I know the future will hold many challenges. As I already knew, all my students are not little angels. A few in particular, who I’ve already figured out from just the first day, are going to be extreme challenges. And I also know that working, eating with, going to church with, and living in such close vicinity with around 50 of the same people (staff) and approximately 50 resident kids will be an interesting experience in itself. But I am going to learn. I am going to learn a lot, no doubt, and grow in ways I didn’t know I could, or perhaps even knew I needed to grow.

Yesterday I met one of the youngest resident girls and, within 5 minutes after meeting me, she had sneaked up behind me to hug me. My heart melted. That's what it's all about. These kids need to know that they can love and are lovable.

Sometimes detours happen in life. I used to get lost and get frustrated. Now when I get lost, if I’m not on a tight schedule, I don’t sweat it. It is at times like this that I have had the most awesome experiences. Of all the places I have lived, short term or long term, it is during times of being lost, or rather “detoured” that I made the most beautiful discoveries. In Indianapolis & St. Louis I discovered beautiful, “I thought these only existed in movies”, neighborhoods. In Holland I discovered a beautiful marina. In Estonia, the best place to see the prettiest view of the city. In Lithuania…a whole lot of awesome things (I got lost really bad one day. lol).

My point is, sometimes in life you may feel like you know or even you may know for sure where you are supposed to be headed. However, if God steers you a different direction for a bit, don’t sweat it. He has His reasons and I assure you they are good. Eventually it will all make sense. For me, being at TCMM is somewhat of a “detour” but also a fulfillment of a long forgotten childhood dream.

Apparently God remembered what I had forgotten. Imagine that. He is indeed a God of the details. And even if you’re a perfectionist I assure you that He “dots his Is and crosses his Ts” much more than you do. Your creator knows exactly what you need and at what time you need it. If He decides to take you on a detour for a short while, don’t explode in frustration. Look around; enjoy the scenery. Learn from it. I feel confident that if you look closely you just might find beauty in a place you never imagined it could exist.

It is Well with My Soul

2010-01-06T17:42:00.009-06:00

Today I learned (and taught my English class) about how the song "It is Well with my Soul" was written by Horatio Spafford, a man who had just lost 4 of his daughters in a shipwreck. This same man had, within the last 2 previous years also lost a son to scarlet fever and also had his many real estate investments destroyed in the great Chicago fire. His wife, who had been traveling with the daughters, was the only family member that survived the shipwreck.

When the survivors of the wreck had
been rescued, Mrs. Spafford's first reaction was one of complete despair. Then she heard a voice speak to her, "You were spared for a purpose." And she immediately recalled the words of a friend, "It's easy to be grateful and good when you have so much, but take care that you are not a fair-weather friend to God."

Mr. Spafford was originally supposed to be on that ship also, but was held back due to business and had sent them on ahead. While on the ship heading back to New York from England to be with his wife, shortly after crossing the area where the ship had sank, he penned the words to this beautiful song:

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

"Run now, I pray thee, to meet her, and say unto her, Is it well with thee? is it well with thy husband? is it well with the child? And she answered, It is well."
~2 Kings 4:26

I want to have this attitude, no matter what the circumstances of life. When asked, "Is it well?" I want my reply to always be a resounding "Yes, it is well."

(I highly recommend listening to Selah's version of this song. It's probably available on Youtube; I just don't have access to Youtube here at the Mansion to post it. *sigh* :oP)

His Grace....It STILL Amazes Me

2009-12-30T11:36:00.010-06:00

Your Grace Still Amazes Me ~Phillips, Craig, & Dean

This song has been in my head 3 days now. I've been falling asleep thinking about it, as well as waking up to the though of it in my mind.

A friend that I've know my whole life was visiting my church on Sunday. I didn't even know that she was there until the person leading the service (my friend's uncle)asked me to step out into the foyer to watch her baby,a beautiful baby less than a month old, that I had yet to get to see in person. Needless to say, he didn't have to ask me twice. :o) I quickly relieved my friend so she could go sing a special..the song she sang was "Your Grace Still Amazes Me".

As I sat there, holding her adorable baby for the first time, while listening to her sing those words, I began to think about the blessings God had brought her way the last few years. A Godly husband. A job in which she is able to help people in which she has a burden, a burden derived due to her own personal life circumstances. She is also a youth pastor's wife and now mother of one of the cutest babies I've ever seen.

Through the years we have randomly shared our hopes and dreams. Many of which, have been very similar, other than the location of our callings. As I sat there, I realized I could have felt jealous, that many of her dreams are already coming to pass & most of mine are still in process. But I wasn't. This same friend is the one that had shared words of encouragement with me about this same time the year before and had been one of the greatest sources of encouragement I had received in a long time. No I wasn't jealous at all; I was just very thankful for her.

Not long ago I was talking with another friend. One of the best girls I know. One who hasn't had luck on her side lately or for quite a while it would seem. Many of the circumstances she has faced and has to face I can't imagine going through. However, the one we were discussing that particular day..that she was going through at that moment, I not only could imagine, but had experienced. She began to say things such as "It's not fair! I deserve better. WE deserve better!" Though I wanted to be her friend and shake my head and say, "Yes, you're right! You're absolutely right!" I had to tell her the truth..that WE don't "deserve" anything. Every blessing we receive is a gift; we don't nor can we "earn" God's blessings.

A line of one of my favorite songs, whose lyrics I believe I have already shared on here, says:"Every good & perfect gift that I possess was sent from the Father above." And that's exactly how it is. We were born sinners; we were born undeserving. BUT, thanks to God's grace, He still chooses to bless us.

Do I have any idea why some people seem more blessed than others? No. I've seen some of the most dedicated people I know go with out many desires and some of the least committed people I know squander blessings those dedicated ones would have given their right arm for.

However, as I sat there holding my friends baby, thinking about God's blessings in her life, I thanked God for grace. Grace for her. Grace for me. Grace for anyone who will accept it.

The words of another favorite song say:
"Where would I be, if not for your grace?
Carrying me, through every season.
Where would I be, if not for your grace?
You came to my rescue. And I want to thank you
For your grace.

Yes, His grace STILL amazes me. Past. Present. Future. And I thank Him for it.

A New Year...

2009-12-26T10:56:00.008-06:00

When I started this blog earlier this year I wasn't sure who, if anyone, would end up reading it. All I knew was God was speaking to me, showing me things I had never understood, or realized before, and that maybe, just maybe, others could also benefit from what I was learning as well.

Blogging like this is not always easy. Sometimes, in order to write about certain subjects of which I might feel to write, I have to be more transparent than I would otherwise normally desire to be. However, over the last few months I have had various people...from family, to friends, to acquaintances, to complete strangers comment regarding various things they have read and encourage me not to stop writing. I now see that what started out as me feeling a subtle tug from God to do something with all the thoughts crowding my head has turned into an opportunity to minister to others. I am thankful for this and look forward to sharing this coming year with you as well!

I plan to also change things up a bit, maybe sometimes writing a little more "blog like" rather than "devotional like". I feel only one side of me has been shown thus far through this blog, and it has been a side even some people who know me personally may not have been familiar with. In general, I am a bubbly,outgoing, yet randomly timid person who loves to laugh and find enjoyment in the small things in life. I never meet a stranger (trait adopted from my Dad no doubt) and try my best to be a person who welcomes both advice & criticism equally. I have a huge heart, which sometimes seems like a good thing & other times like a bad thing. I have amazing friends and family both near and far..soon to be mostly far. This saddens me; but I also welcome the opportunity to develop new friendships with new people of which I haven't been blessed to know yet.

In the past, some of you have felt to email me for advice or requesting prayer for certain situations you may be facing. Feel free to continue to do so. I may not always have an answer for you, but I am definitely always willing to join you in prayer.

This next year is going to be a major adventure. New place. New people. New Challenges. I welcome you to join me while continuing this Journey called life...the Pilgrim way.

May God bless you & yours abundantly in the year to come!

A Godly Heritage

2009-12-21T22:37:00.015-06:00

When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also. - II Timothy 1:5

Last night as I was sitting on my pew at church, listening to my parents sing one of the hundreds of songs my dad has written, I lost it. Literally lost it. The tears began to flow nonstop. The emotions I was feeling were a mixture of earthly and heavenly. A pinch of pain, quickly engulfed by the peace & love of God. And thankfulness. Lots of thankfulness.

I have listened to my parents sing more times then I can count. I have probably listened to them sing the same song they sung that night more times than I can count. So what, you may be wondering, made the difference this particular night? The song they were singing was about God turning the tables around. The chorus goes "When it's God's time He'll turn the tables around. When it's God's time He'll turn them upside down. There's no power can prevail, none on earth, nor in hell. When it's God's time He'll turn the tables around."

The reason I "lost it" so to speak is because I know my parents. I know what they face day in and day out. I also see day in and day out their Godly character and faith in God shine through, no matter what the circumstances may be.

What began as one of the best years of my life turned into one of the worst years. It has also been one of the worst years for my family as a whole. However, I am thankful to have such a Godly heritage...parents that truly believe, and are an example of Job when he said, "Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him."

My mom was raised up 3rd generation Pentecostal, her grandfather having helped build the church with his own hands in the tiny town where she grew up. My dad was 1st generation; his family came to truth when he was a teenager. His step-father being healed of cancer at a local tent revival brought the whole family to truth.

Many years later,after my parents had been married for a short while, my mom who had always been raised in church, but never received the Holy Ghost or been baptized, did so during a 3 week revival that took place despite a snow storm. My dad had been quite involved in singing for the country music industry up until then. At this time he also recommitted his life to God, leaving the industry behind.

This was all many years before I was born. All my life I have known that, if I walk down the stairs around 6 in the morning, I will either see my dad praying or reading his Bible. If I'm still home an hour after my mom has woke up, I will no doubt hear sounds of praying coming from their bedroom....A Godly Heritage.

As a little child one of my strongest memories is visiting nursing homes, going door to door inviting kids to Sunday school, and playing outside during Women's prayer...

Every other Saturday: 3 different nursing homes. I loved it! They loved my squeaky voice. And, of course, always wanted me to sing. I remember us all laying hands on many of them in prayer.

Door to Door Visitation: Dressing up in cartoon characters costumes and having random kids bring carrots on Sunday to my dad..who had been dressed up like Bugs Bunny.

Women's Prayer: Every week coming in after playing outside with other church lady's kids to see a group of consecrated women standing in a circle, hands joined, praying....for the lost child of the lady who stood next to them, or for the sick mother of the other lady, or for the one whose finances were in crisis....Sometimes I would walk in and a tongues interpretation would be going forth...
A Godly Heritage.

After moving to Arkansas, when I was 10, I have also learned many other things due to my parents. Through my participation in Bible quizzing for 9 years I have learned what commitment, discipline, support, and teamwork really mean. My mom was assistant coach, in charge of fundraisers, the person I quoted my verses to daily, and, of course, at all my tournaments. My dad also found a way to be at all the important ones as well...A Godly Heritage.

As I've grown older, my parents have been a huge source of support to me in regard to my calling and all the preparation I have felt necessary to go through because of it. They are, indeed, my greatest cheerleaders and most dependable prayer warriors. Most of all, they are my greatest example of faith. Pure and Simple Faith. If through the years I have managed to glean half of their Godly spirit and attitude, I consider myself very blessed.

A Godly Heritage. If you are blessed enough to have this, count your blessings and please, whatever you do, don't let it go to waste. Pass it on yourself. It doesn't have to just be passed to your physical children; those who are babes in Christ need Godly examples as well.

If you haven't been blessed with a Godly Heritage, it's never too late to find a mentor and glean from them all you can. But when you do, whatever you do, don't let it stop at you....A Godly Heritage. Pass it on.

I Want to Be a "Giver"

2009-12-19T12:02:00.014-06:00

New Year's Resolutions are an interesting thing. Some people swear by them; others make fun of them. I've realized through the years that the ones that swear by them are usually the ones that accomplish them. The ones that make fun of them...well, they tend to make fun because they haven't been quite so successful at fulfilling them and perhaps have stopped trying all together.

I personally fall somewhere in between the two. For one thing, I don't think it takes a new year starting out to decide to make a commitment to doing/ not doing something. Also, some years there is something I really feel to focus on...other years I'm more set on general improvement, rather than something that specifically is standing out screaming "work on me!"

This year I have decided to focus on one. This year I want to become a better giver. I want to give of myself to others like I have never gave before. As the baby of my family, this is not something that comes very naturally to me, but it is a trait I want to pursue.

In part, to fulfill this goal, I want to stay more connected. Not connected as in being on every networking site out there. But rather as in realizing who those people are that I want to make sure I stay more connected with and being the type of friend/ family member that they deserve. I'm referring to those people that years from now when I'm possibly living in Timbuktu (figuratively speaking I hope:o) I won't find myself thinking "I wonder how they're doing?" or "I wonder what ever happened to them?" But rather that I will know and will have been in enough contact with them to have rejoiced with them when they have rejoiced and have been there for them when they have gone through trying times as well.

A few years back a dear friend of mine, who knows way more people than myself and is one of the busiest people I know, decided he was going to do this. He told me he was making a list of all the people (including people like his grandma) that he knew he needed to talk to more often. In this case he was even going to assign certain days a month to call them. While I don't intend to go to this extent, I have seriously been thinking about who those people are that I should be putting on my "list".

I've been asking myself questions such as:
Who have been my closest friends in the past?
Who am I closest to now?
Who would I like to grow to know better?
Who do I feel I can learn from?
Who do I feel may be able to learn from me?

While this is my New Year's resolution, due to choosing to spend this year in a job position/ ministry that consumes a lot of my time & energy, I have already started off a little off track. Talking all day for one's job makes one less likely to want to talk once he or she goes home...and thus less likely to pick up the phone. However, I am determined. I have some awesome friends and family members who deserve my time. And, if I don't feel like talking sometimes, who cares? I can always listen. Listening's good..Listening's better anyway.

So, dear friend, if you haven't heard from me in a while, feel free to call me and remind me of this fact...I won't be offended and will be glad to hear your voice. And once you confirm to me that you fall into one of the list categories above I will be glad to call you back. (Kidding ;o)

Hope you're having a blessed New Year!

Godly Fear...

2009-12-01T22:56:00.000-06:00

..."For Our God is a Consuming Fire".

When one hears the phrase "Godly fear" various thoughts may run through his mind: Godly reverence; Being in awe of God; Literally fearing God (He is after all "The Judge"), and so on...

To me,though,this phrase has taken on a new meaning as of late. A while back I confided in a friend about some serious decisions I felt to be making and if she would simply pray that God would take away any fear, due to my not wanting it to affect my making the right decisions. She shared with me how due to the environment in which she lives, fear had been a major battle in her life and how it is important to never let it creep in and that it must be conquered through prayer and not have place in my life.

It's easy to become fearful...
Fear of leaving family
Fear of being misunderstood
Fear of being alone
Fear of change
Fear of failure
Fear of disappointing others
Fear of the unknown

The list could go on and on.

These are all earthly fears.

Revelation 21:8 says, "the fearful...shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone."

Now, I'm not trying to give you yet another reason to be fearful. However, it is true that God does not accept or appreciate His children living in fear. He hates it. He wants you to trust Him and realize He has your best interest at heart. He knows the end from the beginning. He knows the desires of your heart. His thoughts are above your thoughts and his ways above your ways. When you feel a close friend doesn't really trust you, how does that make you feel? Now, imagine being their Savior, the one who created the universe, and knowing that....Are you getting the idea? I think it's safe in saying that God finds it offensive; therefore we shouldn't do it.

That's not actually what this blog is about though (took a detour :o)...

Sometimes you know that you know that you know that you've heard from God. You know it's God's will for you to do a certain thing, say something, go somewhere, not to do a certain thing, etc. ---At times like this Godly fear should be so strong within you that it overrules all else...all other earthly fears.

You see, to me "Godly fear" has came to mean fearing God more than earthly circumstances. It means having a greater fear of disobeying God and therefore removing myself from under His umbrella of protection (aka: stepping out of his will), than a desire to stay within the familiar, within my comfort zone.

God's not always going to be telling you to move or to do anything drastically different...BUT, when He does, and I believe everyone encounters times like this,..when He does, I pray you'll let Godly fear order your steps, and cast earthly desires and fears to the wind.

And this word, Yet once more, signifieth the removing of those things that are shaken, as of things that are made, that those things which cannot be shaken may remain. Wherefore we receiving a kingdom which cannot be moved, let us have grace, whereby we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear: For our God is a consuming fire. - Hebrews 12:27-29

The God of Israel said, the Rock of Israel spake to me, He that ruleth over men must be just, ruling in the fear of God. - II Samuel 23:3

But the former governors that had been before me were chargeable unto the people, and had taken of them bread and wine, beside forty shekels of silver; yea, even their servants bare rule over the people: but so did not I, because of the fear of God. Nehemiah 5:15

The transgression of the wicked saith within my heart, that there is no fear of God before his eyes. - Psalm 36:1

Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God - II Corinthians 7:1.

Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. -Ephesians 5:21

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. - Isaiah 55:9

Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. - Psalms 37:4

Amazing Grace

2009-11-15T23:32:00.000-06:00

For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:Not of works, lest any man should boast. Ephesians 2:8-9

Rev. Nick Mahaney preached at my church today. He gave his testimony. Raised in an evangelist’s home, seeing all kinds of miracles while growing up, at the age of 17 he decided he didn’t believe in God anymore. For the next 20 years he was away from God; getting mixed up in some of the worst drug situations possible. Eventually he found himself facing 40 years in prison, as a plea bargain for dealing drugs. He never even began the first of those 40 years. When he turned to God and promised Him he’d do what God had called him to do a long time ago, God took control. God can, after all, do anything He wants. God took control and rescued this prodigal son from impossible circumstances; circumstances that were of the son’s own making. Through the miraculous process of God delivering him from both drugs and the extreme legal situation, many people were saved, and, no doubt, all connected learned what God’s glory is really all about…and what His grace is about as well.

Amazing Grace…Amazing. Grace.
False Accusations. True Accusations.----
Amazing Grace.
What time limits do we, as Christians, place on one becoming “new” again?----
Amazing. Grace.
1 year?..10 years?...How about 1 second?----
Amazing Grace.
To whom did God give permission to decide that any sin is unpardonable? And to decide which sin that would be?----
Amazing. Grace.

It truly is amazing that God can forgive us of ANYTHING and use us again. Not “anything but…” -----Anything.

Saul killed Christians---lots of them. David had an affair then had someone killed due to the results of his own sin. Peter, who had the privilege of walking with God in the flesh, denied even knowing him, not once, but 3 times. Moses was a murder…Rahab was a harlot…The list could go on and on.

History proves that God not only forgives, but uses those whom he forgives sometimes in even greater ways then He had before. So my question is this…

Who are we as the church to stop God’s process?

Innocent or Guilty should not be the question.

Repented?...Check.
Forgiven?....Check.

That’s where the list must end my brothers and sisters.

Perhaps the next Moses, Peter, or Paul is sitting on your church bench, pastor, and you are too busy dwelling on his past to realize he has an amazing future before him…if you’ll only allow him to walk through that door.

Perhaps, saint of God, that brother or sister who you keep holding back with reminders of who they once were is the individual God has ordained to be the key to the great revival and harvest you have prayed for in your city for so long. Yet Satan has used you to plague their mind with thoughts of worthlessness; any distraction to keep them from their full potential. This is one of his greatest tactics. Do not allow him to use you as a tool.

Amazing. Grace.

Yes, it is amazing how a God so powerful and mighty can love us so dearly, so whole heartedly; how he can forgive so greatly and say “It is finished” before we’ve even had the chance to breath “I’m sorry.”

Who better to tell of His amazing grace than those who have benefited from it the greatest?

Still questioning if God can really use ANYBODY? How’s your faith meter? If this is something you question, it is not a matter of doubting men’s capabilities to change, but a matter of questioning God’s omnipotence.

Fact: We are clay.
Fact: He is our potter.
Fact: He can do absolutely anything He wants with the clay.

The Only Question: Is the vessel willing? (refer to the short checklist above…)

No doubt, if you’re reading this, you believe in God’s grace, and you believe it is truly amazing. Never place limits on something that has no limits.….Amazing. Grace.
….And never take for granted something none of us deserve.

Amazing Grace

Home is Where God's Heart Is

2009-11-03T21:22:00.001-06:00

Recently, while talking with some friends about ministry, I had an epiphany. I have never quite been able to explain why, though I have an amazing church family and earthly family, for a very long time now the thought of staying in my hometown and never leaving has been something that makes my skin crawl. I've known, for what seems like forever, that this is not where I am supposed to stay. I realize this is not a "typical" feeling for most people..as a matter of fact, most would think me crazy for even making that statement.

However, I have finally figured out how to explain it...It's like, when God calls you to a certain place, He puts a certain restlessness within you. As long as I am not where He has called me, I will never feel complete peace. While I have a burden for the people in my hometown, my burden for the people where I am called is even stronger. I now realize that God gave me this uncomfortable feeling a long time ago so I could never let myself get too comfortable outside of His perfect will.

Recently I got to talk with an awesome young lady. Her and her husband just within the last year received their calling to the foreign missions field. She told me how, while in the deciding process as to where to go for their first trip, she saw a man from a certain very unfamiliar country praying over her husband and though "NO LORD!!!"..Sure enough...sometime soon they will be headed to that place on their first missions trip. I was thankful though that she shared this with me, because I was able to encourage her that wherever God leads them; that place will feel like home. No matter how different the culture, how distant the place...if that's where God calls them, He'll give them peace.

Lately I have been watching videos from some mission training sessions I was privileged to take while staying in Estonia on the Next Step Program. One day Bro. Lynden Shalm talked about how his wife hadn't traveled outside of the U.S. very much at all, and yet, when they reached the land of their calling, before they had landed, while looking out the window, his wife said that she "felt like she'd come home." She had never been there, yet God had already put something in her heart in advance that she already had a love for those people.

So, I've came to the conclusion that yes, home is indeed where the heart is. One's heart will always be with their family, but one must also follow God's heart...and God's heart may lead you anywhere.

Dreambearer

2009-10-17T11:48:00.000-05:00

The following is a poem written by Bro. David S. Norris. Him and his wife are two of the most awesome people I know. When I attended Gateway, they were our drama directors. We kept journals in which they would ask us questions about our callings,roadblocks, desired future plans, etc. and, in turn, they would respond back to us about it. I was just reading through this journal last night and their words and the words of my fellow drama members from that time still mean the world to me. Bro. Norris attached this poem to one of the letters he wrote in this journal.(Please note that it is not formatted as the original author wrote it..for some reason it shows it correctly on the edit page, but makes it plain on my blog. ) It is one of the most touching, applicable, poems I have ever read.

Dreambearer

If you have a dream…
(and there is a good chance you do, for God is very liberal at giving these things out),
then you can be assured that your dream is very durable.
Ask Joseph.
A dream can be thrown in a pit,
sold as a slave
and forgotten in prison,
but it will still survive.

In fact, it is not at all unusual for a dream’s future to look bleak, and that’s the
thing that often confuses people. For you see, dreams, like seeds…
must be planted,
watered,
and cultivated
before they flower.

Now planting a dream is not something you have to work at---there are plenty of
circumstances which will conspire to bury it for you; enying brothers ready to throw dirt---plenty of pits that act as receptacles for dreams, plenty of Ishmaelites to make sure the dream stays buried.
Oh yes, your dream must be watered—with tears
Tears of fathers who thought the dream died…
…or your own tears,
because you thought that you died with the
dream.

They’re singing the funeral song now for your dream—quite buried—stripped of its original colors, shredded beyond recognition. Time has made allies with a scheming Potiphar’s wife and a jealous husband to keep your dream buried for a long, long time.
--dreams don’t die. That is your dream won’t die if you

Cultivate it with prayers
nourish it with faith
don’t let it go
don’t trade it in on another model.

This season of waiting can try even the most patient of dream bearers; but in this forgotten soil, it is God who will breathe renewed life into your dream. When it begins to sprout, there are not enough prison bars in all of Egypt to hold it captive.

First the miracle of life,
and then strength,
and then abundance.
And when your dream brings forth fruit, the granaries of Egypt will overflow, a nation will be saved, and the world will be fed by it.

Who needs your dream?
Dreams are for confused pharaohs
and worried butlers…
dreams are for hungry brothers
and grieving fathers.

There is a Benjamin out there who wants to see you; so don’t let your dream die in prison. There’s a father who thought the dream was already dead, but it will resurrect before his eyes.
And when your dream comes to pass, remember that it was not for you alone that this dream was given.

A dream outlives the dreamer. It is never tucked away neatly in a trophy case or set on a shelf with memorabilia of long-passed treasures, but the bones of the dream will be carried into future generations.
It will follow clouds,
pass through the sea,
defeat Egyptians,
And route Amalekites.

No. This dream will not be left in Egypt—for there are three million others who will take it to the promise land.

And that is why you must clutch tightly to your dream—dreambearer!
For God knows, while you do not, just how many are following you.
Don’t let them down.

By David S. Norris

Lessons from God..via General Conference

2009-10-07T14:51:00.000-05:00

General Conference was awesome this year! I was privileged to experience a great time of fellowship with many awesome new and old friends. Also, the services were amazing...the Home Missions service blew me away. I don't believe a single person could have sat through that service and not have walked away with a stronger burden and having felt more greatly encouraged about reaching the lost.

Over the years, especially more recently, God has used various men and women of God to speak a word to me, and often this has occurred at this conference. However,this year was different. This year He chose to speak to me in some different ways..and I am in awe of how much peace I feel at this moment. It's true, if His eye is on the sparrow, how much more is He paying attention to what's going on in the lives of His children?

Lesson #1 - Men Can't Close Doors on God

I won't go into personal details as to how God taught me this particular lesson, but I learned that:
Sometimes God closes a door..and sometimes man closes a door. It can be very hard to tell who really has closed a door, but one thing is for sure: If man closed it, there's always another door. Always. No matter how the situation may look. The hardest part is determining whether God or man has closed it, and sometimes this answer only comes through prayer and time...but it will always come.

Lesson #2 - God Cares About the Small Stuff...the Really Small Stuff

One night, the booths where missionaries, the publishing house, etc. sell items had closed and I had walked with friends a ways a way from that area and was standing around chatting with them, when I realized I had left my coat somewhere..I thought of how I had laid it down on a couch in the Foreign Missions area before being in a photo and decided that was where I should check first. So, I ran back as quickly as my aching feet in my heels could carry me, begged the security to let me back in..and lucky for me, my coat was still there. I quickly threw it on and took off to meet up with friends that were waiting for me.

After meeting with them we stood around a few minutes deciding where to go eat with people and took a cab to a restaurant not too far of a walking distance away, but too far for girls who had been in heels for days. :o) Upon arriving at the restaurant, which was on a downtown street corner, my friend and I quickly grabbed 2 of the seats available outside and didn't leave our spots, even though we were freezing, for a good 30 minutes.

After sitting there that long, I got up, don't even remember why, and a bag full of cds bought from the booth area fell out of my lap. I hadn't bought any cds. I asked my friend if they were hers. No. Our other close friend. No. By this point I was starting to ask everyone in the group, even those I had just met.."Did you hand this to me?!!"

Eventually I found myself standing on the edge of the corner, talking to a new friend, who by this point had the cds out and was looking through them out of sheer curiosity as to what they were. Meanwhile, I'm standing there feeling like a thief and not even knowing how I got the things, let alone who to return them to.

About that time a friend of mine runs up, yells something at the guy I'm talking to (she was just acting goofy, trying to embarrass him), sees the cds and yells out to another girl I know, who I hadn't even seen walk up. "She has your cds!"

Apparently a friend who had been in that picture with me at the booths had left her cds by my coat, and I had picked them up, and not noticed until an hour later when her and our other mutual friend walked by that random street corner, where I had just discovered I had the cds, about 5 minutes before. The friend had just prayed with her that they would find the cds, because she was so distraught about losing them.

God really does cares...even about the small stuff.

Lesson #3 - Never Lose Your Zeal for God and the Things of God!

During the Holy Ghost Crusade I was privileged to help with registering the people that received the Holy Ghost. Basically this means that I sat on the platform behind a booth and people who had just received the Holy Ghost were sent to the booths to fill out a form, giving their information, such as their address, whether they had been baptized, etc...the very last line was an "interested in" line, where one would mark the areas of ministry within a church in which they would like to be involved.

Well, an 82 year old women received the Holy Ghost and was sent to me...a couple of people assisted her. She had a cane, and they pulled a chair up behind her so she could sit down as she wrote. I heard a lady in her 80s received the Holy Ghost that had sought it for over 30 years, I'm not sure if it was her, but "have a feeling that it was...anyway, as she was filling out the form, she got to the have you been baptized?" part, and checked yes....next was the "interested in" part...The whole time I was watching her I was curious what she would check when she got to this part. There were 7 or so options listed..among them: music ministry, Childrens ministry, Bible studies, Sports, etc...

As I sat there I watched her pause for a moment reading them..then, fully focused on the task at hand, she checked every single one of them...except sports. :O) Then she paused a moment again, looking it over, slid it back over to me, and,though she was missing every other tooth, the huge smile she gave me was one of the prettiest I have ever seen. :o)

If she had that much zeal, how much more zealous should we be about God and working for His kingdom?!

Yes, General Conference was a time of great fun, fellowship, and blessing this year..but it was also a great classroom for me and for that I am very thankful.

More than You Can Bare?

2009-09-25T13:06:00.000-05:00

I overheard a conversation the other day, as I was walking around my neighborhood, between a teenager and his younger sibling who were doing something in their garage. The younger sibling was crying.

Teenager: "Come on now... be strong!"
The younger child screamed back at him, " NOOO, I'm NOT strong!!!"

I smiled at this at the time...even laughed a bit. His blatant honesty and complete lack of pride was somewhat refreshing.

Then I thought about it some more. How often have we had this same kind of conversation with God?

I know I personally have been guilty of the "Please God..no more" conversation. Where you try to be patient and endure tribulation, but then you reach a point where you're like, "Ok God. That's my limit. Yep. Pretty sure. It's written in a handbook somewhere '(Insert name here)is alotted 50 1bs of hurt, grief, & dispair' and right below that '(Insert name here) cannot carry 60 lbs or more or will be destroyed.' Now, I'm not saying there is or isn't a "handbook" like this somewhere in God's filing cabinet. If so though, we are not the ones with access to it; He is. We don't know what it says. And He knows us better than we know ourselves. He did, after all, create us.

Apparently Mother Teresa had a healthy sense of humor regarding this subject:
I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much."

The Bible says:
"I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." - Matthew 17:20 ...hear that? NOTHING.

There are many times in the Bible where even the prayer of a sincere person changed God's mind. If even God's mind can be changed, there are definately no limits in prayer.

Come boldy before God's throne with your requests, and while you are there, cast your cares at His feet. "The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much." ~James 5:16 If something is important to you, Keep praying; but quit carry the load. Show God that you trust...truly, deeply, sincerely trust Him.

Prayer WILL always change something. It may be the situation; It may be you; It may be both. Never stop praying.

"The potency of prayer hath subdued the strength of fire; it hath bridled the rage of lions, hushed anarchy to rest, extinguished wars, appeased the elements, expelled demons, burst the chains of death, expanded the gates of heaven, assuaged diseases, repelled frauds, rescued cities from destruction, stayed the sun in its course, and arrested the progress of the thunderbolt. Prayer is an all-efficient panoply, a treasure undiminished, a mine which is never exhausted, a sky unobscured by clouds, a heaven unruffled by the storm. It is the root, the fountain, the mother of a thousand blessings." ~Saint John Chrysostom

Prayer does not equip you for greater works.
Prayer is the greater work. ~Oswald Chambers

"I Want it All Back" ~Tye Tribbett

2009-09-23T23:30:00.000-05:00

Gateway College of Ministry singing "I Want it All Back"

Lyrics

God's Amazing Ways

2009-09-20T22:34:00.000-05:00

The other day, during a slow time at work, my coworker and I were googling and yahooing(?)(lol) our names out of boredom. Well, that, and I've also been told that prospect employers may do this, so it's good to know what info/ pics are out there of you. While doing this, I stumbled across one of the neatest "God moments" that I've ever had. A girl I am now blessed to call friend, but had never met yet, had written an article for the apostolic website: ninetyandnine.com.

It was basically on hearing God say "wait" and about her desire to return to the missions field. I wrote a letter in reply, thanking her for the article, saying how I could relate, and said, "Who knows, maybe one day we'll run into each other overseas!"...little did I know that within 5 months we would be roommates in Estonia on a mission trip together..having never even spoken to each other besides my reply to her email. I must say that when we realized who each other was, any doubts I may have had about whether I was in God's absolute perfect will vanished. I love when God confirms things so obviously like this. I tend to desire clear confirmation before proceeding with any major decisions..and thankfully, God has usually been pretty good at giving it to me.

Recently there are some things God has been stirring up in my heart, and, as usual, I have prayed for confirmation regarding them. And, He may, or may not give me that confirmation. But, in the midst of asking Him for it, I have felt like I've heard him say, "I trust you"..Now I don't claim to be any pro at hearing God's voice (blogging my thoughts on this later), but, from experience, I tend to know when it's His voice, because it's usually something I wouldn't dream up,do or hear of my own accord. "Trust ME?!" I, of course, trust God, but why would HE trust me? This was very humbling...and I don't know if that's His way of saying, keep praying and the right decisions will come, or what...but I kinda feel like the child at the baseball game, who's not really playing all that great..in truth, he just got 2 strikes, but his father still shouts out, "That's my son!!!" I know I don't deserve it..but thanks to God's mercy and grace, I believe He does trust me and I pray I do Him proud.

Below is the great article that my friend Gabe Reese wrote (Jan 2006..and my short reply following it):

When God Says Wait
By Gabe Reese
January 9, 2006

So, what are you doing these days? The question gets asked when I happen to see friends that I haven’t seen for years. Their careers are getting established, they are married, some even have children! I give them a bright smile and say “Oh-the same old, same old!” It seems like after all this time, I should have something more exciting to say. It’s not like I’m letting life pass me by—I love my job helping special needs children reach their fullest potential and I am very involved in my home church, but it’s not really where I imagined I would be at this time.

I thought by now I would be on the foreign field as a missionary or an AIMer. I was called to foreign missions at Missouri Teen Camp when I was 12 and experienced my first taste of foreign missions on a Youth on Missions trip to Prague, Czech Republic. Incredible! The desire to work in the foreign field burns in me but the door has yet to open for me to step through. (I’ve tried opening it myself a couple of times but I’ve learned God is better at opening doors than I am.) I know the experience I’m getting here in the home field is valuable preparation for the foreign field. The word spoken to me has been to be ready to go, but also to wait on God’s timing.

But Why God?
Wait—it’s a hard word. Who is delighted at having to stop at a red light or gets excited about waiting in a long line? Waiting is especially hard when you are waiting for a prayer to be answered. We can be assured that our prayer is heard and will be answered, but the timing of the answer is in God’s hands.

Waiting times are trying times. In my own experience of waiting, I have felt many questions about why the wait is so long. Weariness in waiting comes when I see desires fulfilled and prayers answered in the lives of friends. I am sincerely happy for them and rejoice with them, but I admit it makes the waiting harder. I get frustrated with myself when the questions fill my heart and I struggle to keep the vision clear. The enemy has taunted me asking, “Where is your God? What is He doing for you?” Though I grow weary, I remember the words of Isaiah,”The everlasting God…fainteth not, neither is weary…there is no searching of His understanding. He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might He increaseth strength… But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength…” (Isaiah 40:28-31).

When I am discouraged and filled with questions, I pour it out before the Lord. David encouraged this, “Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah” (Psalm 62:8). My God has infinite understanding. Pouring out to Him draws me closer to Him. In these times He speaks to me, encourages and strengthens me to continue waiting on Him. I know He is MY God, MY friend, and He is on MY side.

The Key to Waiting
The way to wait on the Lord is worship and the Word. “I wait for the Lord…and in His word do I hope” (Psalm 130:5). Worship takes the focus off of ourselves and places it on our faithful Savior. We see by the examples in His Word that He is faithful and this waiting time is for His higher purpose. David and Joseph experienced waiting times between a calling, a dream, and the fulfillment thereof. Their waiting times were shaping times used to prepare them for the positions God had for them. The Word assures us that those who wait on the Lord will not be ashamed. David wrote, “I waited patiently for the Lord, and He inclined unto me and heard my cry…many shall see it and fear and shall trust in the Lord”(Psalm 40:1,3).

Your waiting time is a testimony of God’s faithfulness. He uses circumstances in our lives to show others He meets us where we are, He will walk with us, and He will keep His promises. Your testimony of answered prayer and fulfilled desire will cause others to fear God and put their trust in Him. Isaiah 55:8-11 is an encouraging text as it tells us God’s word never returns void. It always accomplishes His purpose. The word He spoke to you will come to pass. The vision He gave you for your life will be fulfilled!

“Wait on the Lord, be of good courage and He shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord” (Psalm 27:14).

My reply:

Re: “When God Says Wait”
I just want to say thanks to Gabe Reese for writing this article. It’s encouraging to know that there are other people going through the same frustrations as oneself. I wish you all the best, and hope for open doors for you in the near future. Who knows; maybe one day we’ll run into each other overseas. :0) God bless!

Rachel Zehm, Arkansas

Perspective

2009-09-05T22:50:00.000-05:00

Lately I have had tons of thoughts swirling around in my head..notes have been scribbled, a few blogs started, but, as you can tell, not much has been posted lately. These "thoughts" are gradually starting to take shape and develop some order, so hopefully I will be posting quite a few more in the near future. In the mean time, I just thought I'd share with you a random thought for the day....

According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary Perspective is "the capacity to view things in their true relations or relative importance".

If we kept everything in our life in "perspective" how would this affect our life day in and day out? Our work decisions? Our family decisions? Our financial decisions? Our educational decisions?

Right now I have a quote on my facebook by a famous man that I know very little about. I don't even know if he believed in God, but I do know that these few words hold a lot of meaning:

"Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none." ~William Shakespeare

We are put on this earth for 2 reasons:
- To worship God
- To tell others about Him

One definition of worship is "to adore; revere; reverence; bow to; honor."

If we truly feel this way toward God, we will obey his commandments, and in turn, showing love to all and doing wrong to none will be our second nature. This is, after all, the second commandment after loving him....that's right folks. It's in there, right after loving God... not just love them, but love them as you love yourself.

If our lives are "in the right perspective", every major decision we make will be filtered through a "what is God's will in this?" filter. Not a "which will pay the most money?" or "which will benefit me the most?" or "which will make me look the best?" or "which would everyone else do?" or a "what does everyone else want me to do?" filter.

When you wake up each morning, what are you thinking about? Is God one of your first thoughts? If He's not, check out that filtering system; it might need a few adjustments.

My parents have sung a song a few times through the years. Honestly, it's not my style of music, and when I was younger I kinda thought the song was downright morbid...but now, it speaks to me in a different way:

"Take me home or keep me in the center of thy perfect will,
Take me home, dear Lord, if you should see, that I'm about to fail,
For I don't want to miss that mansion, that I've been waiting for so long,
If you see that I might fail Lord, take me home."

I'm still young and hope to have many more years on this earth, hopefully spent pursuing the second reason I listed earlier above. However, when I sing the lyrics to this song. I mean them. I mean them more now than I ever have. Something about that gives me peace. Peace that maybe, just maybe, while life may not be perfect, or even close to it, if I keep my perspectives right, I still have an amazing eternity to look forward to.

Seek ye the LORD while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near: Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater: So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it. For ye shall go out with joy, and be led forth with peace: the mountains and the hills shall break forth before you into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands. Instead of the thorn shall come up the fir tree, and instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree: and it shall be to the LORD for a name, for an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off. -Isaiah 55:6-13

"But, beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day."
- II Peter 3:8

Heart of Worship

In the Blink of an Eye

When Anyone Looks at Me

2009-08-29T13:38:00.000-05:00

This is another favorite song of mine. Another one of those that I know from a long time ago, but have no clue who was the original artist. I can't find the lyrics online, so I'm just assuming I still know them correctly. Enjoy.

Chorus:
When anyone looks at me
let them see Jesus.
Let them see a reflection
of His love and mercy to me.

When they start to read
my life story.
I want it to bring my Savior glory.
When anyone looks at me
let them see Him.

Verse 1:
I'm not looking for fortune,
and I'm not seeking fame.
I'm not so concerned,
that all the world knows my name.

But I am consumed with one passion,
to share what the Lord's done for me.
And I want my life
to shine with His light,
So all those around me can see!

Chorus:
When anyone looks at me
let them see Jesus.
Let them see a reflection
of His love and mercy to me.

When they start to read
my life story.
I want it to bring my Savior glory.
When anyone looks at me
let them see Him.

Bridge:
Every good and perfect gift that I possess
was sent from the Father above.
And thanks for the way
that I've truly been blessed.
I open my heart
And give to the world His Love.
Ooooooooohhhhh.

Chorus:
When anyone looks at me
let them see Jesus.
Let them see a reflection
of His love and mercy to me.

When they start to read
my life story.
I want it to bring my Savior glory.
When anyone looks at me
let them see Him.

I just found a group singing it on youtube!!! Yeahhhh

When Anyone Looks at Me

Are You Teachable?

2009-08-25T23:58:00.000-05:00

I read this a while back and thought it was very good. So good in fact that I typed this out, just so you could read it. :o) I want to be teachable; how about you?

Excerpt from Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World:
"Receiving Rebuke -
What happens when we refuse to listen to God and act on what he says?

The Bible is clear that God, like a loving parent, will administer the appropriate correction in our lives. “For whom the LORD loves He reproves,” states Proverbs 3:12,even as a father, the son in whom he delights” (NASB).

The level of the discipline we receive depends mostly on the level of our teachability. When my mother was small, all her father had to do was look disappointed with her and she’d be in his arms, melting with tears, begging for his forgiveness. Suffice it to say, it required a little more force on my dad’s part when it came to his eldest child. I was not only well raised, I was also well “reared”. And quite often, come to think of it.

Spiritually, the same is true. If we are teachable, we come around quickly to obedience. As a consequence, the level of discipline is fairly minor, sometimes even painless. But if we are unteachable, if we refuse God’s rebuke, the level of discipline increases in severity, just like my “rearing” did. Not because God is ruthless, but because our hearts are rebellious. Our loving Father will do whatever it takes to break that rebellion before that rebellion breaks us. Even if it means giving us a time-out (like having to wait for something we’ve wanted), taking away our toys (like the new computer that just crashed), or allowing some affliction to come our way.

“Before I was afflicted I went astray,” the psalmist writes, “but now I obey your word” (Psalm 119:67). Before you think God cruel, read on. This is no trembling, abused child. This is a chastened son, who like me, can look back and say to his Father with full assurance: “You are good, and what you do is good: teach me your decrees” (119:68).

Jesus was direct in his rebuke of Martha. His words were gentle, but they pierced straight to the heart of her shortcomings. And Martha paid attention. She was teachable. All it took was a tender rebuke from the one she loved. Jesus didn’t have to convince her. She didn’t launch into a debate. She simply accepted his words, though I’m sure they were painful to hear.

Martha knew the secret every child who has even been lovingly disciplined eventually learns. You shouldn’t run away from your daddy. Though correction hurts and rebukes sting, at the end of the pain, there is great reward. Hebrews 12:11 tells us, “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”

"Behold, happy is the man whom God correcteth: therefore despise not thou the chastening of the Almighty:" - Job 5:17

Complacency - Condition #2

2009-08-20T12:26:00.000-05:00

Sad will be the day for any man when he becomes contented with the thoughts he is thinking and the deeds he is doing – where there is not forever beating at the doors of his soul some great desire to do something larger, which he knows that he was meant and made to do.
-Phillips Brooks

(to be continued)

Complacency - Condition #1

2009-08-19T00:45:00.000-05:00

Complacency - "self-satisfaction especially when accompanied by unawareness of actual dangers or deficiencies"
(Merriam-Webster Dictionary)

I believe the church of today's greatest enemy is a spirit of complacency. It's like a sickness trying to suck the life out of saints, affecting individuals in two different ways: One in causing them to gradually drift further and further from God, while not even realizing it. The second, if they aren't drifting, in causing them to be content with whatever state or condition they are in, instead of continuing to move closer to God and whatever calling He might have for their life.

Revelation 3:15-17 says:

I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot. So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth. Because thou sayest, I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked:

Many of my close friends and myself have been blessed to have been raised in The Church by godly parents, having a sheltered home life. In most ways, this is a blessing, but in one way, if one isn't careful, it can be a curse. When people have not been brought up around something, or came face to face with a certain issue before, they might tend to think they are immune to being tempted by it. Examples of this could be drugs, alcohol, sexual immorality, lying, perverse language, etc (aka: any sin).

I don't believe most sincere Christians consciously conspire to commit a sin; I believe most of them are right smack in the middle of it or have already done it, when they realize what has happened. Most true Christian's greatest failure is not the committing of a sin, but the allowance of complacency into their hearts. The definition above refers to complacency involving an "unwareness of actual dangers and deficiencies". A Christian who has lived his or her life faithfully and rarely fallen is apt to look at a verse like Proverbs 4:15 and think it's a good verse, but not one they need to worry about too much. I mean, after all, don't they live a good and holy life? Temptation rarely comes their way anyway....

.....And gradually the guards start coming down. This is when the devil smiles and begins planning.

When a Christian begins to think this way, he does to himself what God did to Job; he takes down his own hedge. This is a very dangerous way to live. And, according to Revelation 3:15-17, God is not at all ok with this.

A few months back I was helping babysit my twin niece and nephew; at the time they were only about 10 months old. As I was watching them stand, holding onto the coffee table for balance, one of them reached over to the other and grabbed the other's hair...for absolutely no reason. The other in turn wacked the perpetrator on the head. 10 months old. Can't walk; hardly can talk---but that sinful nature is already evident. Don't get me wrong; I personally think they are angels..But God says that we are all born sinners. (Psalms 51:5)

Having been born sinners we must NEVER let our own hedge down. satan will grasp at any opportunity to catch us with our guard down. And sometimes it's not satan, it's man's own carnality, but satan is given the credit as a way of bypassing personal fault.

In my opinion, the root cause of complacency is no doubt usually pride and/ or ignorance. Pride, as in thinking one is above and personally stronger than any situation one may face, and ignorance, as in not using prudence in deciphering whether one should even place oneself in said situation in the first place. Separately these are dangerous, but together, they can make for a very deadly combination.

This said, no matter how close a Christian may feel to God, how many hours a day they pray, how many souls they've won, how many solos they've sung, etc..., they must never allow themselves to think they are above reproach. Plan ahead, if you know sin will be present or possible, "Avoid it, pass not by it, turn from it, and pass away." Don't go to that party, have that conversation, be alone with that person, go in that store, watch that movie, listen to that song,...the list could go on forever. But also, in case you find yourself in a situation that you can't get out of, you need to have decided ahead of time how you are going to face it in a godly manner, and make a promise to God that that's exactly what you'll do.

I Corinthians 9:27:

But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.

James 5:12 says:

But above all things, my brethren, swear not, neither by heaven, neither by the earth, neither by any other oath: but let your yea be yea; and your nay, nay; lest ye fall into condemnation

II Peter 3:17:

Ye therefore, beloved, seeing ye know these things before, beware lest ye also, being led away with the error of the wicked, fall from your own stedfastness

Psalms 73:2-3, 17:

But as for me, my feet were almost gone; my steps had well nigh slipped. For I was envious at the foolish, when I saw the prosperity of the wicked....Until I went into the sanctuary of God; then understood I their end.

If you have read all this and are thinking "That's great...but what if it would have done me more good too have read this (insert whatever amount of time) ago, before I found myself in such and such situation?" Well, a friend and I read a quote recently and decided that we liked it very much: "Mistakes are lessons that you need to learn."...ok, now read it again, but slowly. I know, you were probably expecting something more deep, but still, this statement is so true. If you make a mistake: repent, learn from it, & don't do it again. If you learn the lesson well the first time, you might well become an even better person because of it.

Guard your thoughts, they become words. Guard your words, they become actions. Guard your actions, they form habits. Guard your habits, they form your character. Guard your character, it determines where you spend your destiny.

Listen to this song:
Slow Fade
Slow Fade Lyrics

Be Kind...

2009-08-17T12:42:00.000-05:00

...for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle. - Plato

I read this quote for the first time a few years back...and you know what I've discovered? That it's true. No matter how perfect someone's life looks, under the surface, there is almost always, if not always, a battle they are fighting. This battle may be circumstantial, or it may be a battle of the mind, visible to no one, but overwelming to them. But one thing is certain: a battle is just as real whether others know about it or not.

Working in the hotel industry, as a CSR, I try to keep this quote in mind at all times...I never know when someone randomly is going to go off cussing at me because something is wrong with their room,etc or just be completely rude for "no reason". Now, on rare occasions, people are rude just because that's how they are. When I suspect that is the case, I endure, standing up to them if necessary though, and then thank God later that I'm not one of the people who have to live with them. One night of dealing with someone is nothing compared to a life time!

Most of the time though, I know, that person has probably just had a bad day...bad year..maybe a bad life. They are feeling callused and thinking only of themselves by this point and no one else. This is not a good excuse for treating someone bad; however, if you are the one dealing with them, this is a healthy way to view the situation, so their bad day doesn't become yours. It might even be a chance to help turn their bad day around!

I am blessed to have quite a few people that I consider "best friends". Most of them do not live in the same place as me, but are people that I have been blessed to get to know through going to college with them, or through them having lived/ spent time where I am from, then having moved elsewhere. They are all very special, amazing people. All very different and all fighting their own battles. Sometimes I might lose touch with one..or only talk via text here and there and from "surface talk" everything seems perfect. Then we actually talk on the phone and often I realize that they are in a battle. I'm then glad they told me so I can help them fight it, in prayer. Friends should never have to fight anything alone.

When that person on the street flips you off, don't let your temper rage and lower yourself to their level. Brush it off. When you feel you have been falsely judged, hold your head up high and continue living your life as you know you should, and pray that God will reveal to the accuser(s) their wrong. No doubt, they too are in a battle as well. Battle grounds aren't a place where most people feel opportunity to kneel and pray before attacking. They tend to attack first and think later.

I could go on and on with scenarios, but the point is: "...we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places". (Ephesians 6:12) That stranger, that friend, that acquaintance.... you have no idea what they may be facing. Don't write them off or snap back too quickly. You have two options: to be the tool God may use to heal them or to be the tool satan may use to hurt them. The phrase "kill them with kindness" has always seemed like an oxymoron, but I think there's more to it...sometimes you really can "kill" the negatives, by being positive. I am often amazed at work at how someone can come to the desk acting foul, and if I ignore their attitude and go above and beyond to treat them great, they often walk away smiling. Not only have I made their day better, but my day is made better as well.

And, guess what...there's good news for all ya'll out there fighting battles:
If you'll let Him, God will fight them for you!

Exodus 14:13-15

And Moses said unto the people, Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the LORD, which he will shew to you to day: for the Egyptians whom ye have seen to day, ye shall see them again no more for ever. The LORD shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace. And the LORD said unto Moses, Wherefore criest thou unto me? speak unto the children of Israel, >that they go forward:

Exodus 15:3

The LORD is a man of war: the LORD is his name

Exodus 14:15

And the LORD said unto Moses, Wherefore criest thou unto me? speak unto the children of Israel, that they go forward

The battlefield can be used as a time to draw closer to God..a chance to become stronger in Him, IF you are spending time with Him..."going forward in Him"

Job 17:9

The righteous also shall hold on his way, and he that hath clean hands shall be stronger and stronger

Psalm 84:7

They go from strength to strength, every one of them in Zion appeareth before God

This blog I read while researching this subject. While I don't agree with all of it, nor know the background of the person that wrote it, I believe it says some good, strong things, and deals with the very important, yet taboo, subject regarding the fine line between reproof and treating people wrongly. I recommend anyone, especially those in leadership, read it.

Yesterday

2009-08-16T09:29:00.000-05:00

Good song

"Yesterday"
By: Mary Mary

Lyrics

The Waiting Room

2009-08-14T13:08:00.000-05:00

Lately I have been thinking a lot about God's timing, and decisions such as when to move and when to stand still. I feel like I'm in a waiting room and I'm not completely sure what I'm waiting for. I could be chilled out, relaxing, while listening to the radio, napping, or watching a movie...but instead I'm sitting on the edge of my seat, twiddling my thumbs, staring at the door. When that door opens I'll jump up, grab my bag and take off...but, for now...I am waiting. I hate waiting. Today I stumbled onto a few interesting websites dealing with this subject. I don't necessarily agree with everything stated, but to the most part, they are enlightening and definately worth the read:

Waiting 1

Waiting 2

Isaiah 40:31 - But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

Isaiah 40:27-31 (The Message)

Why would you ever complain, O Jacob,
or, whine, Israel, saying,
"God has lost track of me.
He doesn't care what happens to me"?
Don't you know anything? Haven't you been listening?
God doesn't come and go. God lasts.
He's Creator of all you can see or imagine.
He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath.
And he knows everything, inside and out.
He energizes those who get tired,
gives fresh strength to dropouts.
For even young people tire and drop out,
young folk in their prime stumble and fall.
But those who wait upon God get fresh strength.
They spread their wings and soar like eagles,
They run and don't get tired,
they walk and don't lag behind.

The People God Writes About

2009-08-12T16:55:00.000-05:00

I LOVE roadtrips. If I'm with friends, I love them because it makes for a fun trip. If I'm not, I love them because they are usually very inspirational times for me. I usually take a bunch of sermon cds, some of my favorite Christian cds, and have one very long devotional time with God. On the trip I took this last weekend I listened to a lot of great messages..Bro. Jason Sisco..messages from the Passing the Mantle Conference '08..and a message Bro. Stoddard preached at my church a few years ago. I had already listened to all of these at least once before, but still found myself gleaning something new from each of them. The message Bro. Stoddard preached: "The People God Writes About" is one of the best messages I have ever heard. I wish that every person serving God, who has served God, or has even thought about serving God could hear it.

The passage of scripture he references is Hebrews 11. The minister spoke about how all these men and women of God are not only mentioned in the past in the Bible..but mentioned yet again, for their faith, in what's pretty much a Bible "Hall of Fame". The author of Hebrews goes as far as to say that the world was not worthy of them....

YET...would not most "Christians" have been quick to write these people off? In this "Hall of Fame" is represented almost every sin under the sun. Yet God didn't write these people off. Not only did He not write them off, He chose to use them in amazing ways that we still read about and learn from even today.

If you are a saint who has fallen, pick yourself up, God still has faith in you.

If you are a saint that is looking down or talking about someone who has fallen, the word "Christian" means Christ-like. Christ wouldn't do this; therefore, if you are acting this way you are not a Christian. Besides, how will God ever be able to use that person as they are meant to me used if the same people who ought to be standing by their side are the ones blocking their way to His Promise?

God didn't write about perfect people. There are no perfect people. That's why there was a Calvary. God wrote about people who had faith in Him and realized that this world was not their home. People, who, when they made a mistake,learned, dusted themselves off, and continued on their journey.

These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off, and were persuaded of them, and embraced them, and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth.For they that say such things declare plainly that they seek a country. And truly, if they had been mindful of that country from whence they came out, they might have had opportunity to have returned. But now they desire a better country, that is, an heavenly: wherefore God is not ashamed to be called their God: for he hath prepared for them a city.

Order My Steps

2009-08-12T13:33:00.000-05:00

It was Fall of '97 I believe, I was 16 and we were in Detroit for the Sr. Bible Quizzing Nationals and the UPCI General Conference. I had only been once, the year before, and ever since then had been looking forward to the next year. The mixture of reasons was great..a chance to spend a whole week with my closest friends, a chance to compete for the last time that year over the well over 500 verses from God's Word we'd memorized, a chance to see the latest crush (who, no doubt, I was probably too shy to talk to anyway), a chance to hear life changing devotion after devotion taught by some of the greatest youth speakers in the world, a chance to see over 10,000 of God's people joined together in one location, and a chance to see and visit the missions booths (still today, one of my favorite things about conference), looking at all the beautiful souvenirs and fellowshipping with some of the greatest people on the planet. Ahhh...General Conference. Quizzing Nationals. As far as I was concerned, it didn't get any better than that.

What I didn't expect was how drastically changed I would be when I returned from this conference...how God would not just speak to me, but speak to me in a way that would effect every decision I would ever make from that point on. That Friday, in the youth day service, God revealed to me His calling for my life. Something I never realized though, until this week, was that He also gave me my "life song" the same night...

The first and only time I have ever heard this song live was that night at the yearly quiz banquet...all the last year quizzers, many of whom I was very close to and knew I might never see again, sang it as a choir. I cried and cried...largely because I was going to miss my friends so much, but also because I realized that I had absolutely no clue what I was supposed to do with what God had showed me earlier that day and it scared me.

Thanks to modern technology, and a mom who recorded them singing it, I learned the song and very often find myself singing it, even now..12 years later. The same day God revealed to me His destiny for my life, was the same day He gave me a song that I would need in surviving it. God works in mysterious ways...apparently this was a Him knowing the "end from the beginning" moment. When I am feeling lost or confused, in prayer, I often find myself singing this song to God...often when I am overwelmed and at a loss for my own words...this is what I say. I hope these lyrics speak to you as they do to me.

Lyrics

The Journey

2009-08-06T12:45:00.000-05:00

Journey: an act or instance of traveling from one place to another
Pilgrim: one who journeys in foreign lands; one who travels to a holy place as a devotee
(Merriam-Webster.com)

I am a pilgrim on a journey. Thanks to God fearing parents, I was born a pilgrim on a journey. I, of course, had to eventual choose this journey for myself, but I was blessed to be pointed down the right road from the start. My journey consists of two elements...the destination: Heaven...and a closer relationship with my Savior who created Heaven: Jesus.

Seeing as this is a journey I am on, I must never become content with my present "location", my present "location" is and will never be my destination. Until I stand face to face with the one who created me I should be constantly moving, changing, and growing. Life is a journey, not a destination.

In the same instance I find peace in this. Nothing that life sends my way is permanent, because life is not permanent. (James 4:14, psalms 90:12)

As a pilgrim, if I look around at my surroundings and am not touched and concerned with what I see, or perhaps even find myself taking part in it, I should question myself as to if I have begun to assimilate and quickly correct my focus. (Psalm 9:20)

I believe in God's divine will for every pilgrim's life. That means all pilgrims have the same destination, but different journeys to reach that destination. Every commandment and promise in the Bible applies to each of them the same, it's just that it's a big world, and there are different people whose paths God desires each pilgrim's life to cross, so that they too may have the chance to join the journey.

Also, we are all at different stages of our journey in drawing closer to Jesus, and this is ok, the important thing is that we are not sidetracked and still have our eyes on the right road. Don't look at the road God has assigned for your neighbor or the gifts and talents he may have given them that you may feel you are lacking in. Your journey is your journey, He knew what you would need for it before you even began it. (Jeremiah 1:5, Psalm 139:13-16)

I am a pilgrim on a journey....a pilgrim hoping that sharing what God reveals to me on my journey will help in your journey as well.